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Teen Lifetop

'I don't feel I can cope with knowing about my mum's affair. Please help.'

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Q: I live with my mum and dad. My mother is having an affair and I've known for a year. Usually I cope and try to be strong but naturally it really gets to me as I know the man as well. It stresses me out and sometimes I feel like I just can't cope and cry. I've detached myself from my dad and hate being at home, I don't know what to do anymore, I think I might be suffering from depression. Please help.

Hayley, 17.

our online advisors reply:

It sounds like you're having to deal with a really difficult situation at home. Knowing about your mother's affair is becoming a real strain on you, and it's making you withdraw from your dad. It sounds like all your feelings are building it up, and sometimes you just feel like you can't cope anymore.

It's got to the point where you think that you're suffering from depression, and you don't know what to do. Our article on depression will give you more information about recognising the signs and how to beat it. Recognising that you want some help to deal with what's happening is a really positive thing to do. Making contact with someone about it is a good first step.

If you think that the nature of the situation means that you don't feel that you could talk to anyone you know about the way you feel, then you could contact ChildLine. This is a free – and confidential – helpline for anyone under 19 to talk about anything they want to. The number is 0800 1111 and the call is free, and it won't show up on the phone bill. You can call anytime, day or night, but the lines can be busy so you might have to keep trying.

I'm wondering whether you have thought about seeing a counsellor. Talking to a qualified counsellor can help you make sense of your emotions and explore options for moving forwards. When you talk to a counsellor it is in complete confidence and they will not judge you or tell you what to do.

Some doctors' surgeries offer counselling and your GP may be able to set up an appointment for you. Alternatively, you can contact Youth Access, who will tell you about counselling services for people aged 14 to 25 operating in your area. You can do a search on their website or give them a call on 020 8772 9900 (Mon-Fri, 9am-1pm and 2-5pm).

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