recovering from postnatal depression

by Sally Burningham

Tracey, now in her late thirties, with two young sons, feels that she leads a happy and productive life. But it hasn't always been like that. She suffered from postnatal depression after the birth of each of her sons, the second time really severely, and it has been a long struggle to come through.

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'I had a very good pregnancy with Neil, my first baby and a much-wanted child,' she recalls. 'However, nothing had prepared me for the shock of an extremely difficult birth. Neil was in special care for a week and I felt guilty because I didn't experience any maternal feelings, probably because I was so exhausted.'

struggling at home

Once home, things didn't seem to improve. 'Neil developed quite severe colic and I couldn't seem to stop him screaming or begin to bond with him,' she explains. 'My husband and family were as helpful as they could be but at the time it seemed as though everyone could manage the baby better than me. Looking back, I realise that I had slipped into a postnatal depression within a few weeks of the birth, but at the time I simply thought I was a bad mother and that even the baby was aware of this.'

Tracey remembers that her behaviour during these early months was increasingly irritable and erratic. 'Although I had friends who would have been happy to see me, I had convinced myself that no one cared and became isolated and lonely. I began to stay in the house all the time. It seemed too frightening to go out so Richard, my husband, had to do the shopping and other errands after work.'

crisis point

When Neil was nearly six months old Tracey reached a crisis point. Her health visitor was away and unable to visit that week and she herself became worried that she might harm the baby. She put Neil in the car and drove round till she found a mother and baby clinic that was open. Then she poured out her feelings to the health visitor who was there.

'Once she had calmed me down she introduced me to a mother and baby group that was being held that day. The mothers were all very supportive and friendly and I think this helped me to turn the corner,' she notes. 'From that time I began to develop a very strong bond with Neil, enjoying all the normal things such as playing with him, laughing and hugging him, taking him out to see friends and generally being able to cope. Of course, it was a great relief for everyone, including myself.'

second time round

A couple of years later Tracey became pregnant with her second child. This time the pregnancy was not so easy. 'There was some concern that the baby might have Down's syndrome, and although the test was negative I became rather anxious and depressed. I was also very worried that I might experience postnatal depression again,' she explains.

This time the birth went well and she was home with her second son Alex within 48 hours. However, in the weeks after the birth she felt herself sliding back into a depression again. A questionnaire (the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale), which she completed with her health visitor when Alex was eight weeks old, seemed to indicate that she was severely depressed so she was referred to a community psychiatric nurse (CPN).

getting treatment

'I resisted going on antidepressants at first but after a few weeks of trying to struggle on I agreed and was put on a type you can take while you breastfeed,' Tracey comments. 'The CPN visited regularly and I could always phone her when I felt desperate, but despite the support and medication things were much worse than last time. I used to become furiously angry and rage and scream at my husband and the children, which was terrifying for us all. Everything seemed out of control.'

It turned out that the postnatal depression had triggered a longer-term clinical depression (see feature on depression). Tracey started to see a psychiatrist who changed her medication and also suggested that she start psychotherapy to try and sort out some of the reasons for her depression. 'The psychotherapy was a great help eventually,' she admits. However what helped her most on an immediate day-to-day basis was a 10-week group which her CPN set up for mothers with postnatal depression. 'For the first time I met other mothers who had had similar experiences and I no longer felt as though I was a freak.'

rebuilding a life

While still on medication and undergoing psychotherapy she was able to take several steps that have enriched her life. 'I enrolled at college to train as a play group assistant. It took me three months to get up courage to post the form, but it has been so worth while,' she asserts. In addition, together with a close friend from the postnatal depression group, she set up a local MAMA (Meet a Mum Association) self help group. 'We were determined that mothers who were lonely or stressed or had postnatal depression should have support from other mothers who really understood what they were going through.'

'I feel that my life is together now,' Tracey concludes. 'I finished taking medication and attending psychotherapy a year ago and am working part-time as a playgroup assistant as well as looking after my sons. I am also involved in helping other mothers with postnatal depression in every way I can.'

help and info

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To find out more about postnatal depression and for details of helpful organisations, websites and books check out our feature postnatal depression.

organisations

for parents:

Association for Post Natal Illness
145 Dawes Road
London SW6 7EB
Helpline: 020 7386 0868 (Mon and Fri 10am-2pm; Tues to Thurs 10am-5pm)
E-mail: info@apni.org
Website: www.apni.org
Service for women with postnatal illness, their families, friends and professionals. Offers advice and information. Women experiencing PND can find support through a countrywide network of volunteers who all have experience of the illness. Mothers can also call the helpline or receive postal or e-mail support.

CRY-SIS
BM Cry-sis
London WC1N 3XX
Helpline: 020 7404 5011 (every day 9am-10pm)
E-mail: info@cry-sis.org.uk
Website: www.cry-sis.com
Support for families with excessively crying, sleepless and demanding babies and young children. Helpline provides information on local volunteer contacts who have had similar problems.

Meet-A-Mum Association (MAMA)
7 Southcourt Road
Linslade
Leighton Buzzard LU7 2QF
Tel: 0845 120 6162 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm)
DAPeND Helpline: 0845 120 3746 (formally run by MAMA, this helpline is now run by the Depression Alliance, Mon-Fri 7-10pm)
E-mail: meet_a_mum.assoc@btinternet.com
Website: www.mama.co.uk
Network of MAMA groups and individuals providing friendship and support for mothers and pregnant women who are isolated and lonely. Women are put in touch with other women or groups of women for support. There is a telephone helpline, and leaflets and booklets are available for a small charge.

National Childbirth Trust
Alexandra House
Oldham Terrace
London W3 6NH
Enquiry line: 0870 444 8707
Membership line: 08709 908040
Breastfeeding line: 0870 444 8708 (every day 8am-10pm)
E-mail: enquiries@national-childbirth-trust.co.uk
Website: www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com
Information and support in pregnancy, childbirth and early parenthood. Callers are put in touch with counsellors and/or local and regional contacts for support groups, including groups for caesareans and miscarriage. Provides post-natal exercise groups and antenatal teaching. Also produces leaflets and books.

general:

Depression Alliance
35 Westminster Bridge Road
London SE1 7JB
Telephone: 0845 123 23 20
E-mail: information@depressionalliance.org
Website: www.depressionalliance.org
National network of self-help groups for people experiencing depression. Offers a quarterly newsletter, national pen friend scheme and correspondence service with advice, guidance, support and fellowship to people experiencing depression, and their carers. Produces booklets and leaflets on various aspects of depression.

Mind (National Association for Mental Health)
15-19 Broadway
London E15 4BQ
Tel: 020 8519 2122
Mind Infoline: 0845 766 0163 (Mon-Fri 9.15am-4.15pm)
E-mail: contact@mind.org.uk
Website: www.mind.org.uk
Campaigns for better mental health services in England and Wales, through its national office, regional offices and network of over 200 local branches, some of which also provide services. Publishes a range of helpful books and leaflets. Contact them for details of your nearest local group and for more information.

websites

PND Productions
www.postnataldepression.com
Started by Liz Wise, an ex-sufferer and now specialist PND Counsellor, this site offers some good reading links and tips for partners of sufferers.

Royal College of Psychiatrists
www.rcpsych.ac.uk/.../postnataldepression.aspx
Very helpful factsheet on PND and how it can be treated.

The National Post Natal Depression Programme
www.beyondblue.org.au/postnataldepression
A nationwide Australian initiative focused on screening for and researching post-natal depression, thereby aiding recovery and minimising the distress it can cause individuals and their families.

reading

Post Natal Depression: Psychology, Science and the Transition to Motherhood by Paula Nicolson (Routledge, 1998)
This text challenges the expectation that it is normal to be a "happy mother". It provides a critique of the traditional medical and social science explanations of "post natal depression" by supplying a systematic feminist psychological analysis of women's experiences following childbirth. Paula Nicolson argues that, far from it being an abnormal, undesirable, pathological condition, it is rather a normal, healthy response to a series of losses.
Get this book

Surviving Postnatal Depression by Cara Aiken (Jessica Kingsley, 2000)
By relating the stories of 10 different women with experience of post-natal depression, this book aims to promote an understanding of the illness to all, as well as offering help to women who have themselves suffered from PND. Lots of practical advice and positive suggestions.
Get this book

Surviving the Baby Blues: Recognising, understanding and overcoming postnatal depression by Jane Feinmann (Ward Lock, 1997)
Explains postnatal depression, its treatment and the ways in which you can help yourself.
Get this book

(January 2002, resources updated December 2004)