Sam's Cookalong Diary Average man cooking

Things I know

• How to open a tin of beans.
• How to boil, fry, scramble and poach an egg.
• How to chop an onion.
• How to make a really good cheese sandwich (mature cheddar, chutney, tomato, crisps).
• How to make apple crumble. (The secret is to grind up some almonds with the flour. And don't use too much sugar.)
• How to make pesto. (Garlic, basil, pine nuts, olive oil, pecorino, food processor. Easy.)
• How to pour myself a glass of wine to drink while cooking. (I also know that it's a good idea to pour some wine for my girlfriend, so that she is partly numbed ahead of sampling my efforts).

Things I sort of know

• How to make a pie.

Actually, strictly speaking, the dishes I make are stews with lids, since my basic tactic is to cook up a load of vegetables in a tomato sauce and then spread one of those ready-made pastry packets over the top. But it tastes pretty good, so I'm notching it up as a positive.

• How to sharpen a knife.

I'm aware that knives should be nice and sharp and even own a whetting stone from Japan, but have to admit that I've noticed no appreciable difference in the cutting action when I've used it.

Things I don't know

• How to make stock (aside from using a stock cube).
• How to cut up a bird.
• Which bits of the cut-up bird to keep and which to throw away.
• What 'pan roasting' means.
• What to do with a steak. Or even what sort of steak to buy.
• How to balance flavours.
• And, crucially, how to make anything that actually tastes good.