Ungracious guest

Come Dine With Me - Series 4 How to be a gracious guest

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Date Published:
01/04/2008

4Food caught up with the grande dame of good manners, Diana Mather, at her Public Image school of etiquette for a lesson in how to be a gracious guest

What do I wear?

If you're in any doubt you should always ask what to wear but it's the responsibility of the host to inform guests of the dress code. The mode of invitation is always a good clue, for instance if you receive a written invitation for a barbecue you can probably take it that it will be more formal than a shorts and t-shirt affair.

What should I take?

Never take wine unless you know the hosts really well as you'll have no idea what to buy. You don't want to buy a really expensive vintage claret when your host is planning to serve something cheaper as you'll make them feel awkward and similarly you don't want to turn up with something cheap if they're serving something vintage.

Don't take too much as you're putting your host under an obligation when they return the favour and don't expect what you bring to be consumed on the night. The gift is for the host as a token of your appreciation.

Flowers are always acceptable but should be given in their own water otherwise you're creating a problem for the host as to what to do with them. They'll have to stop what they're doing and find a vase.

What do I do if I don't like the food?

Eat as much as you can and when you've had all you can manage put the rest to one side. If the host asks whether you liked it always say 'yes, it was lovely'. Never say it was horrible but don't enthuse too much and your host should take the hint and not cook it for you again.

How do I say thank you?

You should always thank your hosts as soon as possible following the same mode as the invitation. So if you have been invited by post, send your thank you in a letter. But if it was an email invitation you can reply by email. Take your cue from the host. It is extremely bad manners not to thank the host.

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Comments

  1. Like any of the come dine with me contestants actually read or adhere to these rules, if they did they show would be boring and no one would watch it! Oh and the narrator is hilarious he makes the show!
    Posted by Liamm on 28/08/2009 11:15:19
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  2. Does anyone know the name of the cake?? I don't know what series it was on, nor the location but the cake was made(by male contestant)from many layers of very thin sponge, held together with cream(I think) then covered in chocolate. Sourcing it would be great! Thank you!
    Posted by mel on 05/08/2009 12:05:24
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  3. Best programme on the Telly! But have they changed the commentary style? I love the off the cuff & slightly biting humour of the commentator on recent CDWMe programmes, had us all in absolute stitches, but yesterday's (London) episodes had very boring narrative stuff which didn't really add very much. Please bring the cutting edge commentaries, Channel 4!!!! :o)
    Posted by ComeViewWithMe on 12/04/2009 20:30:19
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  4. Dear Sir, how do we (4freinds) participate in the programme? we live in the Ludlow area, Shropshire and would like to participate in the progrsmme, can you please let us know how to go about it. thank you
    Posted by mansour alhoubani on 05/02/2009 20:10:52
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  5. HAVE ENJOYED ALL PAST PROGS AND PRESENT PROGS. HOW CAN I APPLY TO BE A CONTESTANT. I LIVE IN BEXHILL, EAST SUSSEX. THANK YOU.
    Posted by MARCIA LINDEN on 23/01/2009 18:13:58
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  6. Hello there, I am writing as a 'Come Dine With Me' enthusiast. Prior to my sunday hangover, which began my love for the programme on more4, i couldn't cook. Since watching the programme I now fancy myself as a good cook. So good infact, I've decided to arrange my own come dine with me. I have today sent out invertations to take part in an unnofficial Come Dine With Me called, 'Come Av Tea With me'. Although this sounds silly we are taking it seriously and very much looking forward to it. I have invited neighbours and friends to join in and we are going to style it exactly like the programme, we're even filming it. We are giving the winner a restraunt voucher for a fabulous meal out and donating money to charity. I was wondering whether you have any tips of guidence for us?
    Posted by Gavin Dell on 03/01/2009 19:03:29
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  7. when is the st.andrews episode being aired?
    Posted by gayle on 29/12/2008 22:02:53
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  8. here here, please stop showing repeats !!! Love the show but will stop watching if you don't get new 1's up and runnig lol
    Posted by caroline on 17/12/2008 00:47:16
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  9. I am a big fan of your show of witch I watch on a Sunday afternoon.Please please can you show new episode and not repeats.
    Posted by Beverly on 28/10/2008 08:53:36
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