Top 10s Great feasts from fiction

Date Published:

17/03/2009

Nothing gets your mouth salivating like a description of hot buttered toast. 4Food grabbed its reading glasses and looked up some scrumptious suppers from the pages of a book

The plot: A wonderfully absurd comedy about a fashionable gent of curious heritage trying to juggle his dual-sided life.
The feast: A classic Victorian spread of bread, butter and cucumber sandwiches.
What you'll need: Lightening sharp wit, unsuitable lovers and a handbag.
Who to invite: A jolly good cad, some feisty hot femmes and member of Relate to talk things through.

The plot: A group of wholesome children stumble across an enchanted tree, home to a host of unusual characters and a ladder to ever changing worlds.
The feast: Honey flavoured pop biscuits that explode in your mouth, google buns full of sherbet that make your mouth froth and toffee shocks that get bigger and bigger the harder you suck.
What you'll need: A vivid imagination, an adventurous spirit and a big old tree you can clamber around inside.
Who to invite: If you know anyone with a moon for a face then they'd be a good bet as would the hard of hearing, old washer women and hoards of eager children.

The plot: The first in a historic series of books telling the story of heroic captain, Jack Aubrey, and his maritime voyages throughout the Napoleonic wars.
The feast: Biscuits with weevils, freshly killed goats, plenty of limes and a good pint of grog.
What you'll need: A noble heart, lots of vitamin C, a penchant for port and a thirst for strong rum.
Who to invite: Old sea dogs, courageous captains, people who like dining at sea. But not one for fussy eaters.

The plot: Downtrodden orphan, Harry Potter, discovers he's a wizard on his 16th birthday then gets whisked off to wizard school to fight evil and learn some spells.
The feast: Chocolate frogs, pumpkin pasties, liquorice wands and Bertie Blott's every flavour beans, all washed down with a pint of butterbeer.
What you'll need: A big old castle, some spirited kids, self-clearing tables and big dose of magic.
Who to invite: Wizards, obviously, along with giants and elves. Anyone open to edible surprises but strictly no muggles.

The plot: A lonely mole gets tired of spring cleaning and heads to the river bank in search of adventure.
The feast: A picnic fit for a king, including: 'coldtonguecoldhamcoldbeefpickledgherkinssaladfrench
rollscressandwidgespottedmeatgingerbeerlemonade
sodawater'. Phew.
What you'll need: A big basket, a slowly winding river, the sun in the sky and some amiable chums.
Who to invite: Rats, moles, badgers and toads are a given though anyone who appreciates a good English spread is sure to appreciate an invite.

The plot: A newborn caterpillar goes on the mother of all binge fests.
The feast: One apple, two pears, three plums, four strawberries, five oranges, one piece of chocolate cake, one ice-cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake, one slice of watermelon and a nice green leaf.
What you'll need: A crate-load of party food, trousers with an elasticated waistband, a bucket, a dark space to recover.
Who to invite: No-one - this is all about going solo.

The plot: Being born at the stroke of midnight when India becomes an independent nation mystically ties the massive-nosed Saleem to his homeland and the scores of other children born on the same fateful day.
The feast: Copious curries and legendary chutneys cooked by Saleem's spinster aunt, who transfers her emotions into her dishes, leaving the diners with a feeling of bitterness and discontent.
What you'll need: Lime pickle, a compulsion to cook at moments of extreme emotion.
Who to invite: 1,001 people who share your birthday.

The plot: American, Robert Jordan, joins anti-Franco rebels in the hills of Spain on an undercover bridge-blowing mission and even finds time for some pre-battle lovin' with a girl nicknamed 'rabbit'.
The feast: Rabbit cooked with onions, green peppers and chickpeas in a red wine sauce.
What you'll need: A genuine physical love of rabbit combined with a practical willingness to eat it.
Who to invite: A selection of revolutionary types you secretly think might kill you.

The plot: After 10 years waging war against the wife-snatching Trojans, hero, Odysseus, battles storms, sirens and a Cyclops on his voyage home. Meanwhile his castle is filled with rivals trying to cop off with his wife and eat all his livestock.
The feast: Abundant spreads of roasted boar and sweet wine.
What you'll need: Abundant supplies of pork. An absentee husband.
Who to invite: Any hungry men you've had your eye on.

The plot: A plucky orphan flees the workhouse and reluctantly goes on the rob with a motley crew in the murky streets of Victorian London.
The feast: Not quite enough gruel.
What you'll need: A grim childhood. An appetite for porridge. A stingy server.
Who to invite: Children with small appetites.

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