Latest features Janet's restaurant gripes

Date Published:

13/09/2007

Janet Street-Porter loves to talk about food. And she was doing a lot of it for series 3 of the F Word. She tried to convince race goers in Newmarket to eat horse burgers and started a debate about whether force feeding geese to make foie gras was morally correct. In a series of exlusive features, Janet tells us what she really thinks about eating out, eating meat and eating ethically.

Restaurants only have to do three things right to please Janet, be simple, unpretentious and offer good value. However, the list of things that annoy her when she dines out is considerably longer…

You'd think that being reasonably well known might mean that you get special service in restaurants- well, that’s sadly not true! Often you get managers who are determined to let you know that in their little world they are the boss - and you can just bloody well fit in...

I especially hate pubs who stop serving food at 2pm - when I’ve walked miles to get there. Why are these people in the hospitality business? It seems more like the hostility business. They seem to delight in telling you that hot food ‘stopped’ five minutes ago, and you can have crisps. I never go back.

In restaurants, I can’t stand snooty head waiters who try to make you go to the bar for a drink, when you’ve arrived at the time you booked your table. It’s just a way of making you spend more money on cocktails when you are desperate to sit down, have a gossip and get stuck into a bottle of wine. Then there are the restaurants where the tables are so close together that the people on the next table can hear every word you say - in fact they could eat off your plate. There’s one called Arbutus in Soho that all the food writers raved about - well it’s about as cosy as a rush hour train. I’d asked for a table in the corner, or at the end of the row, which they had promised, but they stuck me and my partner between two tables of four and six on either side - so I walked out.

When I go out to eat I expect a good atmosphere, not a place where I’m fighting to make myself heard over braying customers. I once ate at restaurant in the Oxo Tower (long closed) where the maitre d’ removed my plate of beef after I’d eaten a big chunk, said he’d made a mistake and then gave it to a man on the next table! My favourite places are simple, unpretentious and good value - when I go to Moro in Exmouth Market, London, I always let the staff choose my wine - they are the experts.

Yours

JSP.

Is there anything that really irritates you about restaurants or pubs when you just want to enjoy a nice meal out? Share your frustrations in the forum