Latest features Holiday food horror stories

Date Published:

23/06/2008

Ever spent your week in the sun throwing up dodgy mussels in a hostel toilet? As the holiday season kicks off, 4Food offers some sound advice for avoiding holiday food nightmares

The British tourist is becoming more and more intrepid: holidaying in Haiti and taking a break in Taiwan. But while holidaymakers are keen to submerge themselves in the rich variety of local custom, their humble digestive systems are often less adventurous.

From fainting in a French donkey sanctuary to vomiting on a Barbery ape in Gibraltar, 4Food has had its fair share of holiday food hiccups. But our pain is your gain so here's how to avoid holiday food hell.

Push your culinary boundaries…

If you're going to get a complete experience of the places you're visiting it's important to be open-minded about the different cuisines on offer. The father of one member of 4Food insisted on driving his family to the gastronomic heartland that is the south of France every year only to fly into a resentful huff when he found everything tasted of garlic – every year. The reluctant Papa was insistent the family of seven made the yearly two day car ride in a packed out Escort to learn about our Gallic cousins. But he remained steadfast in his dismay at the lack of salty, starched staples on offer.

…but know where you're pushing them to

Language barriers and lack of cultural context means we're often ordering slightly blind. While this can add to the excitement and adventure of a trip abroad be prepared to sometimes get more than you bargained for. On a trip to Vietnam one friend of 4Food tried to settle an upset stomach with what she assumed to be sticky rice served in a bamboo wrapper. What she actually bit into was a green withered meatball filled with cooking oil you were meant to drink. Should have stuck with Settler's Tums.

Trust your instincts

While being overly inhibited and uptight will definitely hinder your holiday enjoyment sometimes your instincts know best. On holiday in Kos one member of the 4Food team stopped off at a charming rural restaurant, off the beaten track, and ordered a meal of roast chicken. Despite the idyllic setting she couldn't quite shake a feeling of unease. The feeling increased when the meal turned out to be a long, flat carcass, with chewy grey meat served amid a pack of 50 stray and braying cats - giving the impression the meal was less chook, more kitten.

Seafood but don't always eat it

Nothing leads to an evening over the toilet bowl more directly than a dodgy oyster, yet it's the food of lovers the world over. Avoid any seafood that has been sitting in the sun all day and if in doubt leave it out. It only takes one putrid prawn to ruin that honeymoon moment or special meal. A rotten lobster on the Greek island of Lesbos saw one friend of 4Food vomiting in a bin by the roadside on her 21st birthday. Ah, happy days.

Get what you pay for

Food in foreign climes can often seem ludicrously cheap compared to British fare and in all but a few select cities you should be able to get more dinner for your dollar than you could back home. Just don't get carried away. If something seems too good to be true it probably is.

In a moment of naïve excitement a friend of 4Food booked an all inclusive trip to the Dominican Republic for the budget price of £500. For such a cut price fee she perhaps shouldn't have been too surprised to find the all you can eat buffet featuring tinned spaghetti and frozen omelette rather than red snapper and fresh papaya.

Similarly another 4Food friend popped into an out of season Naxos taverna that had begrudgingly stayed open to claim some extra trade. The house red was a Ribena vinegar, the salad of lukewarm old squid came upon straight-from-the-freezer salad and it was all served with a surly superior indifference and a stab at fiddling the bill at the end. It would have been easier for all parties if the proprietor had emerged at the beginning of the meal and set about beating them with a cricket bat, screaming: "leave! leave! leave!"

But such is life. There is a world of culinary experience out there for the gastronomic pilgrim and nothing seals a holiday better than plates and plates of good grub. Be aware but be adventurous and you can bring back tasty tips to cook up your holiday food highs back home for years to come.

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