Very Witty, Oscar

First the really important news. A Mighty Wind got nominated! Okay, so it may not have made international headlines when the Oscar® runners were announced at 1.30pm on Tuesday, but for some of us the fact that Mitch and Mickey are now eligible to perform 'A Kiss At The End of the Rainbow' (now a contender in the Best Song category) at this year's Academy Awards knees-up is reason for celebration and delight.

Suddenly there's a good reason for staying up all night and watching what is usually an unremittingly dreary horror show! But how will it work? Will the duo reform for one last shindig, just like they did at the Irving Steinbloom memorial concert? Will The Folksmen do the backing (and will bassist Mark Schubb be in drag)? Will they kiss on stage? Or will they kill themselves before curtain up? So many questions! Oh be still my racing heart.

Other than that, of course, the 2004 Oscar® nominations were the usual mix of the predictable, the defensible, and the downright stupid.

Let's start with the stupid. First up, what the hell is Johnny Depp doing in the Best Actor category? Just because the OBAFA's (formerly BAFTAs) slipped him in there as a joke doesn't mean the Hollywood big-wigs have to follow suit. Don't get me wrong, I think Depp is a great performer in general. But his ridiculous, preening-ninny, show-off turn in the godawful Pirates Of The Caribbean is the very worst thing he has ever done. Ever! Indeed, so dreadful was his Keith Richards impression that I felt sure he would wind up being nominated in some Foreign Language category - because whatever he was speaking it certainly wasn't English.

Only a director as utterly crap as Gore Verbinski could have allowed Depp to get away with such an abominably self-indulgent folly. And now he's gone and got nominated for a Best Actor Oscar®! Clearly the Academy have gone completely mad.