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75 minutes
USA (1973)
18
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DEADLY WEAPONS FILM REVIEW |
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Chesty Morgan bares her ample cleavage and takes on the mob in this camp 1970s sex film
Made in the wake of the 70s porn boom - kick-started by such crossover hits as Deep Throat (1972) and The Devil And Miss Jones (1973) - this touchingly naive and completely incompetent softcore flick delivers little in the way of entertainment other than shots of star Chesty Morgan (credited as Zsa Zsa, but otherwise known as Polish actress Lillian Wilczkowsky) and her 73-inch breast.
One of two films directed by Doris Wishman and starring the gargantuanly mammaried Morgan, Deadly Weapons delivers a hilariously camp plot in which heroine Crystal is galvanised into murderous action after her mob boyfriend is whacked. Taking a job as a stripper - a lame excuse for some bump and grind burlesque scenes - Crystal tracks down his killers and suffocates them between her breasts.
Although lovers of trash cinema have kept its reputation alive for decades, this is a film that's more fun to read about than actually sit through. Wishman's inability to compose a decent shot - at various times, the camera tracks wildly around the sets focusing, or sometimes not, on arbitrary bits of furniture, carpet and props - tests evens the most generous viewer's patience.
While Morgan's 73-32-36 assets must be seen to be believed, there's nothing erotic or sexy about the woman herself, not least of all because she can't act her way out of a paper bra. Those interested in seeing the woman in action, though, might be better advised to catch up with Wishman's second Chesty Morgan film, the slightly more entertaining Double Agent 73 in which she plays a Bond-style secret agent with a camera hidden in one of her breasts.
Verdict
Remarkably unsexy and ultimately rather depressing, this mammary fixated softcore trashfest is the kind of film that's more fun to read about than watch.
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