Royalty descended on the humble Born Sloppy this week in the shape
of the sultry, charming, posh and clever TPT, 17th in line to the
throne (perhaps) and all round 'good egg' as they say in aristo circles.
An assault course of activities was prepared for the princess
of posh: piano playing, running a bingo hall, selling fruit and veg
down t'market, and freestyle flirting with band members and other
miscelleanous men queuing backstage for her affections. She excelled
at them all.
We'll chuck up a 'best of' next week
We fought our way to the front of the queue of suitors to pose these
queries:
What’s the most ridiculous piece of gossip you’ve
ever heard about yourself? That I wrote notes to Darren Day
in the jungle. And…I heard that I was…I think I’ve
been – nah, that’ll do. What have you been listening
to lately? Pink. Blue. Krüder and Dorfmeister. Radiohead.
Puchini. Ever been to any embarrassing gigs? Um…what
do you mean? You know like seeing Duran Duran? Hey
I went out with Nick Rhodes – watch it. What’s
your tipple? White wine and red wine. I like Chateau Margot
red wine. I like to drink it like a vampire. What’s
the most you’ve spent in a day? Way too much. Rough
ballpark figure? Five figures. On what sort of thing?
Oh Clothes and lunch. Believe me I’m not proud of it, but you
know… Any weird fetishes? I used to have a
fetish about chartering my own helicopters and that led to being quite
expensive. How much is it to hire a helicopter? Way
too much in the south of France. Obviously I was insecure and felt
like I had to impress so that’s the weakness in me. Now I’m
happy on a bicycle. Want did you dream of doing as a kid?
I wanted to win the Grand National. Or be on the Muppet Show. Were
you a teenage rebel? Yeah I was. I’ll always be naughty
[chuckles naughtily] Ever been arrested? Oh yeah.
I’ve spent nights in cells. What for? Drink
driving. I always end up playing backgammon with the cops. Nice.
I know, star treatment for me [laughs] Ever been in a fight?
Oh yeah. I’ve hit loads of girls. I don’t tend to fight.
I tend to do really irritating things like poor soggy muesli on someone’s
head just when they’re all ready to go out. Actually they’re
pissed off with you but the oats are good for their hair. Tell
us one amazing fact Taxi is the only word that is exactly
the same in every country in the world. Any more?
And David Copperfield has a surgically made-to-look-like-him twin.
And that’s how he appears at the end of the room. He lives in
Brazil. Thank you.
