Friday 19 January
Day 17, 18:28
Orchestra pass task, despite Dirk's horn...
The housemates succesfully nailed their one-off performance as the Big Brother Human Philarmonic Orchestra in the latest task. But there was a nail-biting wait to find out whether they passed thanks to Dirk having a bit too much of the horn...
Suited and booted, the orchestra had to play the 'William Tell Overture' without instruments. As the various sections of the group warmed up their voices, the moment of truth arrived.
Ian the conductor counted them in and set the squeals in motion by launching into some flailing arm movements not seen since his Steps days.
The brass section of Cleo and Dirk got things going and before long the actor became a man possessed, with eyes bulging and his hand 'horn' threatening to engulf the former Faceman's face. He overshot his mark and played an impromptu freestyle solo, punctuated by Cleo's jaw crashing into the floor.
His fellow band members tried hard to suppress any laughter, but the guffaws effectively took out the entire woodwind section of Danielle and Shilpa. Fortunately, the string section of Jack, Jermaine, and Jo kept the show afloat.
The performance was rounded off by a big 'boom' from human gong Jade. As pre-recorded applause piped into the room, the orchestra tentatively took their bow and awaited their fate.
"Dirk, you f***** that up! If we don't get fed it's Dirk," wailed Jo, as the object of her accusation bore a mischevious grin.
"When in doubt - keep going," he joked.
But thankfully Big Brother announced that the task was successfully passed and the grub was on its way. Sighs of relief all round and vindication for Dirk, with Jermaine laughing that he turned into Miles Davis. "I was more like Dizzy Gillespie," came the response.
We know who you really are Dirk - the best Big Brother human horn there's ever been...