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Feature: Big Brother's Self-Help Guide
Day 35, 06:55
Thursday 01 July
Sexual frustration simmers high in the House, especially on long, sultry evenings and the housemates have their own special ways of dealing with their libidos.
The oldest member of the House, Ahmed whiles away pleasurable minutes by "adjusting" in the Jacuzzi. And if his moves on new girl Becky are not reciprocated, expect to see a lot more solo hot-tub action. Could explode unexpectedly at any time.
Sexual Frustration Level: 8
Becky's masturbation song is The Greatest Love of All and she's been heard quoting Woody Allen on the subject, describing it as "Sex with someone you love". Hasn't been in the House quite long enough to feel the strain yet.
Sexual Frustration Level: 3
Dan says that he is too self-conscious to follow things through to their natural conclusion. He started a half-hearted self-help session on Day 22 and again on Day 25 but to no avail. Doesn't seem that bothered but there could be something lurking beneath that enormous dressing gown. The leg crossing and pursed lips may also be signs of frustration. Luke warm.
Sexual Frustration Level: 2
Jason's wee man is almost an eleventh housemate, surprising the group at unusual moments and forcing Jay to retire with "business to attend to". Jason grappled with his wee man throughout his on /off relationship with Vanessa who refused to take matters into her own hands. "I can hear you, for God's sake," huffed Dan on Day 23 as Jay relieved himself.
Sexual Frustration Level: 200
Marco spends a lot of time in the Jacuzzi (though not with Ahmed). He has described himself as "not a sexual person" and prefers to keep his sex life private. Did have a strange dream about Ahmed having a boyfriend which Stuart interpreted as being about displaced frustration. Perhaps all the squealing and seal slapping masks his sublimated desires.
Sexual Frustration Level: -1
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| An unlikely pairing, but anything goes in this House |
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After Michelle's dramatic romp with Stuart, things have calmed down for the chicken hunter. Nadia caught her having "a lady w***" on Day 24, but she's likely to continue to try and get her kicks with Stu any which way she can. Persistent.
Sexual Frustration Level: 2,000
Nadia's a romantic and has been waiting for Mr Right to sweep through the door since Day 1. She's had to content herself with weird fantasies about Big Brother involving plastic bags and high heels. Michelle accused Nadia of pleasuring herself on Day 28. "I thought it was an earthquake," commented Marco. Seething.
Sexual Frustration Level: 100
Shell claimed not to go more than three weeks without sex for the last five years but the watching eyes of Big Brother have disrupted Shell's daily pleasure routine. Managed to give herself "the most pleasurable orgasm" she'd ever had on day 27. "I was totally silent," she boasted to Michelle. Ladylike.
Sexual Frustration Level: 100
Stuart confessed that being caught "busting one out" would be embarrassing, but suggested turning the Pamper Room into a Pleasure Room... Changeable.
Sexual Frustration Level: 0
Victor claims that he never w**** because there's always a ready supply of ladies willing to help him out. Has spoken of a need to "bust his nut" but would only do it if "Marigold gloves" were supplied. Squeamish.
Sexual Frustration Level: 1
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