Alex's Quotes

"[Kate's] a really good actress. That's why I felt really bad at first for making her cry, but now I think well she can just turn it on, just like that."
Day 63, 12:17

"Shut the f**k up Jade, I've had enough! I have never met anyone so irritating as her in all my life!"
Day 63, 03:38

"I'll never see them chickens again. It's the closest thing I've ever had to a pet."
Day 62, 23:08

"For f***'s sake, I've got Jade on my team, I won't get anywhere!"
Day 62, 01:35

"That's one thing - I'm really looking forward to, being on my own toilet."
Day 62, 00:03

"Lederhosen - ja, ja, das ist gut!"
Day 61, 19:01

"God, in a week's time, I'm never gonna see those chickens again, I'm gonna nick a Polaroid of them. I like those chickens, I really do. "
Day 60, 02:20

"Can I stop you? Mary Poppins is not real."
Day 59, 15:02

"(To Kate) I don't like Jonny's legs as much as your legs"
Day 59, 05:10

"That weren't my van, that was my man"
Day 59, 05:00

"Jonny, get your hand off my nipple"
Day 59, 04:40

"She kept on thinking that she saw the van when all she wanted was a hot blooded man"
Day 59, 04:40

"I still like to expect the worst."
Day 58, 15:44

"I have always wanted a wonky smile. My face is far too symmetrical"
Day 57, 11:06

"I should do this more often. There's things I want to say about people, but I just don't say it - it's because I'm a f*****g wimp really."
Day 56, 00:09

"In the past I could always play darts, feed the chickens, but I can't be bothered anymore."
Day 54, 14:28

"I'm grumpy, I don't fart around...I tell you, I've got a headache. I might get three no-shows for the roller-disco."
Day 54, 13:41

"I've had enough of this place. I like the place, but I just don't like me in here. I'm not the same bloke that came in."
Day 54, 13:40

"Stop shouting Jade, that's why I keep getting these headaches. "
Day 52, 15:24

"One of those chickens lays some pretty dodgy shaped eggs."
Day 52, 13:08

"The devil is stronger than the angel in my body."
Day 51, 15:15

"We should have got those croquet mallets, at least we could have hit each other over the heads."
Day 49, 21:25

"Some people, if I saw them again, and they came up to me and said hello, I'd have to think twice about telling them to f**k off."
Day 48, 00:41

"I'll tell you what PJ, if you read me a bedtime story, I'll read you one, I promise."
Day 47, 12:48

"Alcohol is not my friend."
Day 47, 00:02

"(To Jade) Half of that drink has got to go down that chasm of yours."
Day 46, 22:56

"Now if I'm hungry, I can jump into someone's allotment and look for a turnip."
Day 46, 12:34

"I'm sleeping in the grotto. I coughed, a feather came out."
Day 46, 09:30

"I'm a lover, not a dancer."
Day 44, 21:13

"I've never farted so much in my life. I feel the need to go to the toilet but when I do it just bursts out in a chorus of trumpets."
Day 43, 15:36

"If we've got a gang it's pretty short on numbers we need to get recruiting"
Day 42, 17:04

"I'm starting to hate this place. I can't say anything without millions of people knowing about it."
Day 39, 23:36

"That must be your T-shirt Jade - It's extra large!"
Day 38, 14:11

"Jade, can you please take your eyes somewhere else. She's looking at my package!"
Day 34, 00:25

"You've got to remember the fact that half the people in here are dirty monkeys."
Day 26, 22:49

"They're all outside discussing how they are going to kill me."
Day 22, 22:35

"I wanna look skinny so everyone feels sorry for me."
Day 22, 15:51