Challenge No.69 – Yoga Yarn
We're going to learn some genuine Yoga techniques and then create some bizarre ones of our own. Then we're going to try our best to blag a Yoga "class" on the beach whilst also trying to convince our "students' that we are genuine teachers, that the new "disciplines" are revolutionary and HUGE in America, UK, Russia and Africa.
We're going to learn some genuine Yoga techniques and then create some bizarre ones of our own. Then we're going to try our best to blag a Yoga "class" on the beach whilst also trying to convince our "students' that we are genuine teachers, that the new "disciplines" are revolutionary and HUGE in America, UK, Russia and Africa.
January 13th 2008
Tomorrow we do the Yoga Yarn Challenge and, to be brutally honest, we are pooing ourselves. Not literally (for once). This is possibly our hardest challenge. To gather a group of expectant students and then stand up in front of them and "teach" this ancient and respected technique will be almost sacrilege. Goa is the home of Yoga in India and so far, after hours of walking around it's beaches and streets advertising our free class on a sandwich board, we've had a pretty negative response. We've only had 2 Yoga classes ourselves. One lasted 30 minutes, the second, a mere 15 minutes. What the hell are we going to do? And how the hell are we going to do it? We expect this Challenge to fall flat on its ass. So anything other than public ridicule will be a brilliant result. ith a difference. We went to a local food stall at the side of a road and sampled the offerings. I’m a Nobody Get Me Out Of Here Challenge had come round and we both looked on, sick to our stomach’s, with fear and revulsion. Our worst nightmare had arrived.
There, before us, lay dinosaur-like insects that had been deep fried. Now, us Scottish like pretty much anything deep fried - Mars Bars, Pizza, Ice-Cream, Banana's etc... but certainly not these things; When insects fly at us we either, bat them with our hands (as a total last resort - if a huge newspaper isn't nearby) as far as possible, scream, run or mostly a combination of all three. We don't like seeing them, never mind having to touch them and certainly not having to see them, grab them and stick them in our mouths.
Tomorrow we do the Yoga Yarn Challenge and, to be brutally honest, we are pooing ourselves. Not literally (for once). This is possibly our hardest challenge. To gather a group of expectant students and then stand up in front of them and "teach" this ancient and respected technique will be almost sacrilege. Goa is the home of Yoga in India and so far, after hours of walking around it's beaches and streets advertising our free class on a sandwich board, we've had a pretty negative response. We've only had 2 Yoga classes ourselves. One lasted 30 minutes, the second, a mere 15 minutes. What the hell are we going to do? And how the hell are we going to do it? We expect this Challenge to fall flat on its ass. So anything other than public ridicule will be a brilliant result. ith a difference. We went to a local food stall at the side of a road and sampled the offerings. I’m a Nobody Get Me Out Of Here Challenge had come round and we both looked on, sick to our stomach’s, with fear and revulsion. Our worst nightmare had arrived.
There, before us, lay dinosaur-like insects that had been deep fried. Now, us Scottish like pretty much anything deep fried - Mars Bars, Pizza, Ice-Cream, Banana's etc... but certainly not these things; When insects fly at us we either, bat them with our hands (as a total last resort - if a huge newspaper isn't nearby) as far as possible, scream, run or mostly a combination of all three. We don't like seeing them, never mind having to touch them and certainly not having to see them, grab them and stick them in our mouths.
January 14th 2008
Last night, Lindsay went to bed at about 9pm. Lee retired for the evening at 10pm. We were both worried sick. Physically sick. The prospect of having to teach Yoga to anything from 10 to 100 people today was a horrible nightmare.
Last night, Lindsay went to bed at about 9pm. Lee retired for the evening at 10pm. We were both worried sick. Physically sick. The prospect of having to teach Yoga to anything from 10 to 100 people today was a horrible nightmare.
Throughout the night, we both saw every 20 minutes on the clock. Possibly the worst night of our lives. So, so worried. So, so unprepared.
Lindsay got up at 7am and began to revise the ancient history of Yoga. What consumes the entire life times of some people - Lindsay expected to understand and be able to teach within 3 hours. Lee finally awoke at 0720 hours, the two of us then 'mastered' and simplified a 394 page book on the "basics" of Yoga and spent 90 minutes revising our "Lines". During this time, Lee produced two nervous poops.
And so came 10am.
There we both were. Standing together on the middle of Palolem beach. Petrified. As we nervously started our class (with notes and maneuvers written on our arms) we looked across the shore at our "audience", we began the lesson.
Now, we must have been given at least 29 promises of attendance by the random strangers we had harassed the night before. Said 29 people further promised to tell their friends and pass on the word of our "Free Yoga Class". On top of this, we stupidly put a blackboard on the beach to promote the thing. Idiots. Naive and foolish idiots. The most we ever imagined turning up to the class was a, very maximum, 20 people. After all the marketing strategies we implemented - we feared that a figure more like 40-50 would attend. What the hell were we worried about? Thank God that Lindsay never quite achieved his BA/Hons in Marketing back in his university days - the drink demon interfered with his studies.
The class went perfectly! Frank is more flexible than an 11 year old Chinese Olympics entrant. He performed every position and move with immaculate timing and posture. Well done.
Lindsay got up at 7am and began to revise the ancient history of Yoga. What consumes the entire life times of some people - Lindsay expected to understand and be able to teach within 3 hours. Lee finally awoke at 0720 hours, the two of us then 'mastered' and simplified a 394 page book on the "basics" of Yoga and spent 90 minutes revising our "Lines". During this time, Lee produced two nervous poops.
And so came 10am.
There we both were. Standing together on the middle of Palolem beach. Petrified. As we nervously started our class (with notes and maneuvers written on our arms) we looked across the shore at our "audience", we began the lesson.
Now, we must have been given at least 29 promises of attendance by the random strangers we had harassed the night before. Said 29 people further promised to tell their friends and pass on the word of our "Free Yoga Class". On top of this, we stupidly put a blackboard on the beach to promote the thing. Idiots. Naive and foolish idiots. The most we ever imagined turning up to the class was a, very maximum, 20 people. After all the marketing strategies we implemented - we feared that a figure more like 40-50 would attend. What the hell were we worried about? Thank God that Lindsay never quite achieved his BA/Hons in Marketing back in his university days - the drink demon interfered with his studies.
The class went perfectly! Frank is more flexible than an 11 year old Chinese Olympics entrant. He performed every position and move with immaculate timing and posture. Well done.