Love and marriage
The path to true love is full of challenges but Shari’ah aims to help Muslims find it through marriage. Many non-Muslims have a stereotyped image of Muslim girls forced by their parents into unhappy marriages with men they hardly know. In reality, the Qur’an makes it clear that forced marriage is completely unacceptable and that without the explicit consent of both the man and the woman, a marriage is null and void.
Perhaps the stereotype comes from a confusion between forced marriage, and arranged marriage. Forced marriage is completely unacceptable in Islam, whereas arranged marriage is often the preferred way for Muslims to marry. The whole family is involved in the match, from the introduction right through to the decision about whether to marry. The couple have plenty of opportunity to consider each other's suitability before having to commit to marriage.
Younger Muslims, though, are just as likely to meet their future partners themselves as to be introduced by their parents. But how do they go about finding suitable marriage partners? The Qur’an teaches that a man or woman should not be alone with each other unless a third party is present. Shariah frowns on playing the field – any kind of sexual relationship outside marriage, no matter how serious or committed, is forbidden in Islam.
Although Muslims are not allowed to be alone with anyone of the opposite sex, most imams say it’s perfectly acceptable to ‘mix’ in a public place. Young people in schools or colleges mix with the opposite sex in this way all the time and that is how many of them get to know each other. Some authorities, though, say that ‘free-mixing’ is completely haram and against the teachings of the Qur’an and the Hadith.
One new way of finding a prospective partner, which has been embraced by some British Muslims, is speed-dating – short introductions to a number of people in a safe, public, controlled and Islamically acceptable setting.
Internet dating is also extremely popular in the Muslim world, as it does not involve a man and woman being physically alone. Some imams, though, argue that it is not acceptable, as they are alone in a virtual sense. They also say that no one should involve themselves in any activity, such as internet dating or chatting, that they would be ashamed of if it became public.