Mum, Heroin and Me
About the programme
Kate has wrestled with how to deal with Hannah's addiction for the past three years but Hannah has never managed to stay off drugs for long. The strain eventually led Kate to have a breakdown, shortly before filming began.
Kate believes that Hannah's problems started when she was very ill as a child with a very unusual and debilitating disorder of the colon. She was in and out of hospital for the first ten years of her life and was bullied at school: "I think it was the major cause of her low self-esteem and she seemed to find it difficult to feel at ease with people… I called her the little girl with the barbed wire fence."
At the beginning of the documentary, in September 2007, Hannah is sleeping rough less than half a mile from her parents' home, with her boyfriend Ricky. Kate remains fond of Ricky, despite the fact that he once burgled her house.
Although Kate feels reassured that Hannah is not alone on the streets she also knows that the relationship harms Hannah's chance of recovery: "The downside of that, of course, is that very seldom do two addicts recover simultaneously and together, so that if one is getting better, very often they will relapse because the other person isn't".
After weeks of sleeping rough, Hannah and Ricky get a place in a hostel which allows them to take drugs but where they will also receive weekly counselling. They are taking methadone in an effort to reduce their heroin use but the methadone is giving Hannah nightmares and she has been screaming for her mum in the night.
Kate and Hannah continue to meet regularly for coffee or lunch – struggling to maintain a relationship amid the chaotic nature of Hannah's life. Sometimes, Hannah talks about rehab but her mother has learned to be cautious – she has heard it so many times before. Hannah has been to rehab about six times but has never managed to stay off heroin for long.
After three months in the hostel, Hannah and Ricky stop taking methadone. Then, they are kicked out for not paying their rent. Hannah is allocated a bedsit by the Council but Ricky is forced to wander the streets at night as she is only allowed visitors during the day.
On Hannah's 21st birthday Kate is determined that they will enjoy a nice day together: "I want it to be a lovely, special day for her, and for me, because I still love her very much and it's important". She has carefully chosen presents that Hannah will be unable to sell to buy drugs – taking her for a massage and to have her hair done. But there is no escape from the depressing reality of Hannah's addiction – she needs a fix before she is able to keep her hairdressing appointment.
Hannah soon moves on again to a squat with Ricky – her sixth home in a year. As Kate helps her to decorate, Hannah is in an optimistic mood: "If you live somewhere like this I think you've got more chance of doing things that normal people do. If I was in a hostel there's nothing to inspire me to get clean. Whereas if I'm here I want to make the flat look nice." But eight weeks later, charged with shoplifting and assault, she is more downbeat: "I always have the best intentions and things that I want to do but it never happens. Heroin always comes first."
Hannah is a bright and articulate daughter but her addiction has left Kate emotionally drained. Even as she tries to do everything in her power to help her daughter, Kate is realistic about what will happen next: "Even though we sometimes feel optimistic, the reality is that this will go on for a long time. There won't be any change. This is our life together, this is how it's going to be."