'Tarquin dahling... m'wah, m'wah. And you've brought Fiona... dahling you look simply divine... m'wah, m'wah.'

If this is you every Saturday night, then get back to your sad pretentious life, you loser, 'cause your so-called friends all secretly hate you anyway. If, on the other hand, this means nothing to you then you need DinnerParty.tv

Is it a TV show? Is it a website? Is it all the fun of organising a dinner party and watching people cop off with each other, while slagging off everyone else, without all that tedious washing-up? Probably.

OK, here's the scenario...

From 24 very odd and dysfunctional people on offer – click on their faces to see a short video profile – you get to chose your seven favourites, not forgetting to keep to strict dinner party etiquette of boy-girl-boy-girl. The top seven, as voted for by the viewing public, are then invited to the dinner table and before you can say 'You spoil us with your chocolates ambassador', the fun begins.

The dinner party itself is videoed – you'll need realplayer – as are the 'hangover after-thoughts' of the guests.

There are bound to be comparisons with Big Brother - but this is purely for laughs. The invitees are actors and the dinner party itself, though partly improvised, has a high degree of scripting.

But it is very slick. Nominated for Best Use of New Media in the 2002 Broadcast Awards, it's the kind of original idea that will probably be bought by an interactive TV company by the time you get to the asterisk at the end of this sentence*.

DinnerParty.tv made its debut on Channel4.com on 18 March