Body Talk

Ten Tells for Life

1. Smile and the world smiles with you. It's the universal gesture of warmth and friendship. Plus it's been found to release endorphins, feel-good chemicals, in your body. So even if everyone else is in a bad mood, you'll feel more confident!

2. Make eye contact. Literally seeing eye-to-eye with people encourages mutual respect. But don't stare, it can end up making people uncomfortable rather than relaxed!

3. Echo other people's body language and they will find you more agreeable. Mirroring it exactly is likely to freak them out, but try taking up similar seating positions for instance.

4. Open yourself up. To appear friendly and relaxed, present your body without defences: arms uncrossed and face-to-face.

5. Stand tall. A straight back and erect posture give you self-respect for all to see.

6. Shake hands with people by offering your palm held vertically to show you greet them as an equal.

7. Respect other people's personal space. Getting inappropriately close makes people jumpy.

8. Look out for indicators that other people feel uncomfortable. Touching one part of their body with another (like playing with their hair or clasping their hands) is a sign of seeking physical comfort. If you want to reassure them, try tipping your head slightly on one side as if you are listening.

9. Look out for other people's aggression. Tight lips and knuckles directed outwards are a good indication, and a bad sign.

10. See if you can spot the fleeting expressions and contradictory body language that betray people's true emotions. You'll be wiser for it.

Other Telling Facts

Telling fact

Dropping your pitch at the end of a sentence is associated with statements, certainty and dominance.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling fact

When greeting each other, Scandanavians tend to use a single kiss, the French a double kiss.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling fact

Margaret Thatcher was advised to lower her voice a couple of octaves so that she would sound softer and more concerned.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling fact

By widening her eyes - a tell that reminds people of the vulnerability of babies - Princess Diana made others feel protective over her.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling fact

The handshake only became popular as a greeting in England after the 1800s. Before that, it was a way of sealing a deal.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling fact

When Edmund Hilary and Tenzing Norgay reached the summit of Mount Everest, Hilary put out his hand but Tenzing flung his arms round him!
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling fact

Covering the mouth when talking is an important lying tell. It's almost as if you don't want the lie to come out.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling fact

Several species of apes and monkeys lower their eyebrows as a dominance threat signal. It's the same with humans.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling fact

People who are extroverted and emotionally expressive tend to use firm handshakes, but people who are neurotic or shy don't.
Source: William Chaplin and students, "Handshaking, gender, personality, and first impressions."

Telling facts

Prince Charles lifts his eyebrows and widens his eyes when talking to someone he doesn't know. It shows that he's interested in what the other person is saying.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling facts

You can guess people's occupation by the way they smoke. People who work outside a lot tend to form their hands into a bowl when lighting a fag, even when inside. This is designed to shield the flame from the wind.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling facts

Pretend smiles are sustained for much longer than genuine, heartfelt smiles and are confined to the lower half of the face.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

Telling facts

A deep male voice is a fairly honest signal of dominance and sexual drive, because men with deep voices have higher levels of testosterone.
Source: The Book of Tells by Peter Collett

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