Chat Ed : Hello and welcome to tonight's live BLACK BOOKS chat with BILL BAILEY!
Bill Bailey : Hello chatters...
Sean : hi
Silentwolf : Hello Bill
Swatcher : Hello!!
ed : hi bill
chrisdeburgh : biiiilllll, yaaaayyy
Bill Bailey : It's a superchat!
TomC : Nice to see you and Black Books back, I loved your standup - when can we expect you on tour again, or back with your own show ?
Bill Bailey : I'm currently doing a show in New York for the next few weeks but I'm going to try and get back to do some shows in the Edinburgh festivals and a short tour at the end of 2002, you chat monkey!
Gerry XS : how do the yanks react to your inherent avante garde weirdness?
Bill Bailey laughs
Bill Bailey : I like that use of the word avant garde there, implying that my parents are avant garde. Yeah one of my parents is a video wall installation. The yanks seem to either love it or are totally baffled.
ironfiling : how long did it take to develop your Very Surprised and Stunned expression?!
Bill Bailey : Well, ironfiling, keep away from magnets. Not that hard really. It's a combination of genuine befuddlement and genetics.
daemanic : Why do the ferrets come for me in the night?
Bill Bailey laughs
Bill Bailey : Because ferrets are very sluggish during the day; they wouldn't be able to actually get it together to come for you. Weasels might come for you in the day though.
anagram : Bill, does it bother you at all that your stand-up comedy is now being overshadowed by black books, and which do you prefer doing?
Bill Bailey : I don't know, I think the two are going along fairly independently. Occasionally at my gigs I get lots of 'Little Books', the 'Little Book of Pants', 'The Little Book of Dust' and things like that. The stand up has got a bit of a life of its own really though.
Monobrowed purveyer : A friend of mine developed the theory that 'Dave' is the ultimate comedy name...what are your feelings on this, given the use of 'Dave Syndrome' in tonight's show?
Bill Bailey : Yeah, you're right, ultimate filth. Dave is the ultimate comedy name. It's short. It uses the word Dave in the vernacular, there's been a comedy film called 'Dave' and it is the embodiment of succinct comedy nomenclature.
hobbes : my computer is called DAVE
Kirsten : my dad is called dave
Kris : Dave backwards is Evad
Bill Bailey : Yeah, well done Kris and Kirsten.
wabznasm : Why didn't Graham Linehan co-write the second series?
Bill Bailey : He's a top screen-writer now, he writes top films.
PD : What are your opinions of Johnny Vegas? Good to work with?
Bill Bailey : Yes, a very charming man. Very funny with a tiny little high-pitched voice like a girl.
George Cottier : I saw your name on some Brass Eye credits. Where in the episode where you I can't find you in it and I have one of my rage attacks.
Bill Bailey chuckles
Bill Bailey : Just try and sit down. Just calm down it's not that important.
MightyXavier : So, as in Spaced, have you ever REALLY hit a man for saying Hawk the Slayer was rubbish?
Bill Bailey : Hit a man? I've fire-bombed a woodcraft centre.
MrChom : Bill, how long did it take you to perfect that perfect 'Belgian Jazz Musician' look?
Bill Bailey : What, you mean the Dutch bi-sexual barge owner? It's inherent.
SteveR4C : do you have any further plans to work with Ed Bryne, i think you complement each others styles
Bill Bailey : Err... Ed Byrne is a dandy and a fop. A long haired twittering whimsy-meister and if ever I see him I'm going to laminate him and wear him round my neck.
JoH : Bill - is your ultimate goal like many others - to have your own prime time tv show or are you less mercenary than that?!
Bill Bailey : I want to do everything, I want to read the news, I want to be the next James Bond, I want to be the first comedian on the moon...
Beard : Hi Bill, SO, who's idea was it for last weeks wonderful episode.. where they worked a piano into the story for you? TOP MAN!!
soupytwist : Will Manny ever show off his musical prowess again?
Bill Bailey : Well, I think it was Dylan's idea. He's very complimentary and also I suppose he shamelessly crowbarred in my piano playing abilities, which I am very grateful for. It was a really fun episode, although I strained my wrist doing it because I got so carried away - I was hammering that piano like a mad man! As soon as I'd done I sat down next to Tamsin and said 'I think I've broken my wrist!' I think there will be an epsiode where Manny has to save the bookshop by playing Insect Nation on a hurdy gurdy.
Wardy : Is Dylan constantly drunk?please ask him that
as im only 16 and my perpose in life will be complete
Bill Bailey : 16, you lucky devil, you're probably hopped up on alco-pops, Red Bull and two massive thumbs from playing too much Playstation - course he's not drunk! He's a consummate actor!
Swatcher : Ok, seeing as I guess my previous
s have been tossed. Better think up a behemoth of a
... If you were given the once in a lifetime opportunity to make your own production be it film or sitcom. How would it go? Who would you work along side?
Bill Bailey : I'd like to do a film and I would love to work with everyone from the last few years: Dylan, Tamsin, Simon Pegg and the whole Spaced crew. And I'd like to work with Jennifer Lopez.
Bill Bailey laughs
chrisdeburgh : yes, I want to know if when the apocolypse arrives if we will become human slaves in an insect nation and is there anyway to overthrow our insectoid rulers
Bill Bailey : Are you really Chris de Burgh?? If you are, I am absolutely delighted that you feel the same way that I do about the impending insect disaster. I didn't know you felt the same way about it, sorry for all the piss-taking over the years.
IAC : If Bilbo and Manny were to bump into each other on the street would the universe implode?
Bill Bailey laughs
Bill Bailey : It's not real...it's pretend.
jimmy : If you could have any other job apart from the one you have now what would it be?
Bill Bailey : I'd like to be someone that made toothpicks.
zippy : After seeing you at Cambridge I would kill to hold of a copy of your COUNTDOWN drum and bass
Bill Bailey : Yes. To hold a copy? Not actually listen to it? I'm going to record a new album of all my music and sell it via the traffic warden network. They put a ticket on your car AND a copy of the album.
ed : *parks illegally*
Andrew : Is there anyway a comedy like Black Books would be successful in the States? Maybe it is already but it doesn't seem like something that would transfer successfully to that type of audience
Bill Bailey : It is actually on Comedy Central at the moment in the US and it seems to be doing quite well. Mind you 'Are You Being Served' is doing REALLY well.
baseballcapped_fiend : would you like to punch Phil Collins really hard or just a touch on the cheek so he maybe fell over and hurt his bum
Bill Bailey laughs
Bill Bailey : Umm... I'm not a violent person, I wouldn't want to punch anyone, least of all him. What I might do though is tell him that 'In the Air Tonight' is my favourite song ever, and then say, 'No, it isn't' and watch the disappointment creep over his podgy little face.
jon : for some reason i seem to have left my brain in my other jacket........................
Ming : Ed - tell me this is real.
Chat Ed : Yes Ming, t'is real :)
Stefan : im 15 and i think you are great, i've always wanted to be a comedian, did you ever dream of being a comedian when you were younger, How long has your hair been long, it rules!!
Bill Bailey : Thank you. My hair rules! My hair actually is the Government of Fiji. I never dreamed of being a comedian. I think if you want to be a comedian just keep saying lots and lots of funny things over and over again.
Chat Ed : Our half hour with Bill is nearly up now, so last three
s now, thanks...
Latino Reheat : Bill - Whats the meaning of life, in your own words..........
Bill Bailey : Foxy Latino!
Bill Bailey grrrrs
Latino Reheat : in that episode, did you like getting your kit off?
Bill Bailey : If it's the one where I'm standing on top of the car naked - yes it was very liberating. Once you've jumped up and down on a car naked in Central London in the day, there is nothing you can't achieve, in fact that is the meaning of life.
pukemasterswitch : Bill, do you think that comedy is becoming more and more visualy orientated and surreal than diologue orientated and 'witty' so to speak?
Bill Bailey : No I don't think so judging by the screen names! I think that it's a British tradition that we are actually always ahead of the game in terms of comedy and we're constantly re-inventing old forms of comedy. I think that spoken word or dialogue/language based comedy will always have a place in Britain because the language is so complicated and diverse and descriptive. Arse.
Chat Ed : That's it! Thanks for that Bill, great stuff! Thanks for joining us tonight everyone.
twotonepoet : BILL BAILEY IS A COMEDY GENIUS
Colorfinger : Thanks for the chat Bill! Hope you come and be funny down here before too long.
Maidstone. Come back to Maidstone.
amelia : i love you bill
Wardy2 : Bill is GOD!!!!!!!!
tweeny : Bye bYE BILL
Rocky_Horror : I love you Bill!!!
Bill Bailey : Thanks everyone. Hope to see you later in the year at some undisclosed location.
Wardy : Creme Eggs:How do you eat yours?
Bill Bailey : All in one go, Wardy.
dan_YEAH! : BYE BILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nicola : i love you
Linda : bye bye bill!
Luke and Andrea : I Love you to
Sailor Moon : BYE BILL YOU ARE THE BOMB
Bill Bailey : Bye for now guys.
Bill Bailey leaves the room
Chat Ed : Remember, you can buy the Video and DVD of Series One of Black Books in the Channel4 shop. Details are on the Black Books website.
