C4ChatEd: 'We've got our first question coming up. It's for both of you and it's, oh, bit of a strange one...
BoyLard123 : HeY Johnny, what is your favourite word?
Johnny: My favourite word is.... pavement I think that's a marvellous word!
Denise: And my favourite word is... NUTS!
stuie : Hi Denise, Johnny just wanted to say how cool the show was this morning cheers...
spanno : johny exactly how many check shirts do you have mon ?
Johnny : I have over 200.
Electro : Do you Johnny and Dense always play tricks on you, or are you quite sane all the way through the show?
Johnny: Denise CONSTANTLY plays tricks on me! She destroys my script...and she shows me her bolus.
Denise: hee hee!
ada : Do you really hate carpet or is it just an act?
Denise : Yes we hate him.
Denise grins
Johnny : To work with him is to loathe him.
Denise chuckles
Fantastic Mr Fish : Johnny, do you ever think carpet monster might take over one day!!
Johnny : ooOOoo I'm always aware of the threat posed by...The Carpet!
Denise: I quite fancy presenting on a bit of shagpile.
Alex : Johnny, WHAT CAN YOU REMEMBER ABOUT YOUR EARLY TV CAREER
Johnny thinks
Johnny : I tell you what - having BIG HAIR that crackled when I brushed it
Denise : I slept my way to the bottom!
Johnny laughs
Clair : Den and Johnny....I bet you guys would rather be at home having a nice cuppa than staying on to do this!!!
Johnny: WRONG, CLAIR! Firstly, we drink coffee. Secondly, look at us purely as facilities for your entertainment.
Denise: Yes.
Electro : Do you pride yourselves on being in touch with real people like us the punters, or does stardom go to your heads and you ignore us?
Johnny: We keep it real :)
Denise : At all times!
Johnny: That's why we're sweet...and blinding!
Denise : You can take the girl out of Basildon....
Johnny: but you CAN'T TAKE the girl out of BASILDON! That's a joke.
stefan : what give you the idea of bringing More Tea Vicar back?
Johnny : a mad dwarf was hassling Denise...
Denise doesn't comment.
Johnny: Before the next question gets posted up to us, I just want to say, that scrolling through all the comments that are flashing up here, a lot of you are asking questions about the Streatham Massive. To join it all you need is a white Transit van, some shorts, and the right state of mind. It's a mental thing, a mental thing.
jonny?Denise? : why do u think the show is so popular?
Johnny : because we keep it real!
DaveC : when are you having Monica Lewinski on?
Denise : soon as she comes down!
Euan : how long do the crew stay on the steps of woe?
Denise : For as long as needed.
Richie B : ...and again - How long does it take for a show to be produced and how much involvement do you guys get?
Denise : a week for each show and I produce everything :)
curlygirlie : is this your first experience with the world wide web? what do you reckon?
Johnny : It's a sham of a mockery of a mockery of a sham!
electro : hey Denise wanna share my light chocolate hobnobs with me? I got a full packet
Denise : no I prefer a meal, not a snack.
Steve Durant : Does Johnny have any Vital Stats for us?
Johnny: Stats? Yes! Here's one for you: the Vital Statistics book is now available for 5.99! For that you get 23 (yes, twenty three!) pages in hardback volume. That should provide enough entertainment at least for a good strain... before the main crap.
DJ : What chances are there of the BB being broadcast on radio every morning, not the same as TV, but I could listen on the way to work
Johnny : We are currently in negotiations with a radio station to broadcast a 7:30-8:30 radio show we intend to surround ourselves with a group of millionaires who laugh at all our jokes.
Oh, no, sorry it's been done already.
Lawrence Vincent : Johnny - Do the crew ever get annoyed when you take the mick?
Johnny : Yes. Yes, but it hasn't turned nasty yet as many of them really need this job as they are largely unqualified.
Denise laughs
Apeman : I come from a group of select individuals called the 'Slough Massive'. Any tips for any thing we could do to pass the time?
Johnny : Transit maintenance! It's vital. Buy a Haynes manual and really get to know your greasy drive shaft.
Denise : Nuts.
Trogg : Have you ever been taken to far away planets by aliens ?
Denise: Yes and shagged senseless!
Johnny: On the planet Lust! And they made full use of the rectal probe!
YOYO : How do you dunk your biscuits in your tea?
Denise: Harder!
Johnny: Faster
viksouth : how do we know this is the real jonny and Denise and not some clones made by some sick scientist?
Denise : I'm almost there.
Gimel : Any chance of my putting a question to Johnny & Denise , because if there isn't I'm going to college.
Johnny: Gimel, we are answering your question NOW - I don't know WHAT your problem is! We are having to deal with a lot of enquiries in a very short space of time, now just make like a banana and split.
Euan : Will you be working on Christamas day like you did last year?
Johnny: Xmas day - yes.
Denise : Yes, but even harder!
Saucey chick : When your wlking down the street (like you do) do you have people coming up to you asking to take pictures of you, like the Chinese tourists!?
Johnny : Yes, exactly that happened to me! In an art gallery in Amsterdam these Chinese students started following me round the gallery and then they started taking candid shots
Fast : I reckon you should make a full length cartoon based on the recent Big Breakfast trailer - whaddya think?
Johnny : I think that's a very good idea and one we had ages ago. Sadly the cost.....
trip hazard : Johnny, I am a top Holywood director, and I want you to star in your own movie.
Johnny: If you are serious about this then speak to my agent Vivienne or contact me at the house, where Vicky will take your call.
Euan : Denise: Where did you get those horns from that you sometimes wear?
Denise : They took me three years to grow. I also used revolutionary hormone pills.
electro : Will you be back again to talk to us soon?
Denise : Yes, oh yes, oh yes... harder!
2good2B4got10 : if you were both single do you think you would end up going out together?
Johnny (coming over all mysterious): Well.......
Denise (laughing): ....who's to say!
C4ChatEd: Thanks for coming. Johnny and Denise are off to catch up with their sleep now. But you can catch them every weekday on Channel 4, between 7am and 9am. And keep watching Waffle. We'll be hosting another live chat soon.
