Where are you now?
I'm sitting at a computer in Belfast looking at porn on in the internet.
What got you where you are today?
Hard work and bullsh*t. I talk a good game but I’ve also done the usual shit jobs barman, grave digger, merkin trimmer….
What makes you happy?
Dancing naked round my bedroom Oh yeah, and Family Fortunes, although not the ones with Max Bygraves. Twat.
Tell us about the time you met up with Tim Westwood?
It was completely surreal me, Face from So Solid and Westwood backstage biggin’ it up dog styley – his Rant on 4Music was genius.
What do you think about Roy Keane?
He's everything I hate about Man Utd.. I'm a Liverpool fan? How'd you guess?
You and Rod Stewart both worked as gravediggers - any other similarities between you?
We both have big noses and sing like we smoke 40 fags a day. We've also both slept with Rachel Hunter, although not at the same time. Imagine that!
Do you prefer radio or telly?
Telly -4Music f**king rocks in my opinion. A small team of us sit around, talk shite, get drunk then shoot everything on two cameras. It's the way all TV should be made.
What was your favourite festival act this summer?
Andrew W (AN) K made me laugh my balls off at Reading. He ran on banging his head off the microphone, blasted out a tune then exclaimed ''You may think, looking up here, that we're all w**kers, but we're having the time of our lives!!'' Magic. I loved New Order in Finsbury Park and the Chemical Brothers at Witnness in Ireland was just phenomenal. I felt like I was thirteen again and sneaking out to raves.
Which CDs are being played to death in your house?
I’ve just bought my fifth copy of Teenage Fanclub's Bandwagonesque. It's one of those albums that always gets stolen at parties and I never see again. Dead Ringer by RJD2 is big round my way, Nick Cave's No More Shall We Part, I’m constantly playing the new Ash Greatest Hits and the new material from The Pattern. Loads of stuff really.
Who's an unrecognised genius?
There's a guy called Ed Hamell from New York who plays under the name Hamell On Trial. I brought him over to play in Belfast and it was unforgettable. He used to be a mad, f**ked up musician who had a near death experience, gave up the booze, got married and wrote great rock 'n' roll tunes. A bit like an irate Johnny Cash or the musical equivalent to Bill Hicks. Coochtown is the album people should grab or his live record. Genius? Yes, although he'd never agree with you.
Who should give it up?
Where do you want me to start? If you watch 4Music you know I’m an opinionated bastard. What does piss me off at the moment are so called rock 'n' roll bands who dress smart and talk a good game, but can't cut it live. The Strokes made a great, natural record in an attic and then the industry powers that be decide to exploit this and the result is embarrassing. I don't want to hear witty asides between songs - and if I must then I expect the record to sound better on stage. Instead, you just realise that it's all production and no band Bollocks to that.
What's been the highlight of your career so far?
Watching the first ever 4Music programme from my living room was, as Elton John might say, emotional. It was the first thing I was really proud to be involved with apart from my cameo appearance in the Steps video for ‘Tragedy’ obviously.
Which website do you visit most often?
There's a free kick footie game on the official Roberto Baggio website that I play a lot. Also crazy golf on Electrotank.com. The best free porn website on the net is not hugely well known but once I reveal the address fellow perverts will never look back. And the URL is...
What's your favourite song lyric?
Last Saturday night I was dancing like a mad woman to Queen's ‘Don't Stop Me Now’ . That dance floor was really on fire believe me when it got to the bit that goes 'And now I’m running at the speed of light, that's why they call me Mr Fahrenheit - I'm gonna make a supersonic man out of you!''
Which band would you like to see get back together?
I don't think there is one I'd like to see back together as usually when I band breaks up it's because things are going sour. On saying that, The Pixies could still cut it I reckon, but Kim Deal is having none of it apparently. Frank Black is still magic live and parts of his solo records are awesome.
Which band would you like to join?
I wouldn't. I mess about with my best mate writing daft country rock tunes but I have no inclination to be a rock star. Although the thought of spending my days sleeping on a tour bus and waking up beside dirty women is quite appealing.
Any musical bones in your body?
Well one bone has particularly good rhythm.
What's the best thing about doing 4Music?
I think the general mentality of the programme is real. We try to treat it like we're in the living room watching it with you …you know pissed up and rolling spliffs … and I think it works. Virgins is probably my favourite part because whether the band are good or not we are giving new talent and genuine opportunity to make their point.
How do you want us to remember you?
Either by saying ‘who the f**k was Colin Murray’ or to end on a rock 'n' roll cliché that would make even Status Quo's Francis Rossi cringe... it's about the music, man. Oh God.
