Irish-James : Hey Will, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz uppppppppppppppppp Chat Ed : Evening Will :) Reehan : wwwwwwaaaaaazzzzuzuuuuuuppppppppp
hey!!!! : hey Will!!!!
Derek and Clive : Will..... Arrrrrr Haiiir lllaaaaiiirrrr.....

Will Smith : Hello I'm very flattered that there is anyone here. Is there... anyone there?

wally : i love you!
The Real Posh Boy : Are you really posh Will? (i bet you're not as posh as me, I have yacht and a Mediterranean Summer retreat) So there you go old boy, Are you really posh?

Will Smith laughs
Will Smith : I'm not as posh as that, but I do have a natural resentment for people who hold their knives like pencils.

Smess A : Will... do you realise you look like Radiohead guitarist Ed O'Brien? Ever thought of cashing-in on the likeness? =) Any plans to release a single?

Will Smith : LOL - No I didn't realise this, popular music finished for me when Fish left Marillion.

donny : do u think you will ever duet with posh spice you could be the 2 poshes or something?

Will Smith : That would be fun. I don't have a very good singing voice, but it's probably better than hers.

russ : will, do you ever get mistaken for the other Will Smith? Do you dance like him?

Will Smith : Well I'm actually a stand up and so I have had people coming to shows expecting to see him, it's usually the worst places too. I don't dance like him - I'm a very enthusiastic dancer - that's a very polite thing to say about my dancing, 'A' for effort.

vaughn swift : so, will, did you really go to public school and if so does that explain your unusual preoccupation with buggery and cross-dressing?

Will Smith laughs
Will Smith : I went to a kind of semi-public school, and that doesn't explain my pre-occupation with buggery and cross-dressing.

Mark : Does most of your inspiration come from school days?

Will Smith : Unfortunately yes, I went to school with my co-worker Roger, so we spend most of our time talking about teachers and people we knew at school and making each other laugh.

annabel : Are you single Will?
Tai your royal highn : who was your first shag
dizzydolly : Will you marry me?

Will Smith : Yes I'm single. My first shag - I'll let you know when it happens. What's your favourite Bond film dizzy?

Crys : oo donny : if you had to give your hairstyle a name what would it be called??

Will Smith : The Hugh Grant.

Pete : Are you any good at sports Will?

Will Smith : What do you think?

lee whitehead : basketball
colin : watersports will!!!
Pete : Maybe Polo?
angel97 : probably good at croquet
dj_filopien : shagging is a good sport

Will Smith : The only time I ever scored a basketball was during a game of five a side football.
Will Smith laughs

Gazza : Will: Did you prefer doing the 11O'Clock show, or the BBC's stand up show?

Will Smith : That's a good one, I like them both. There is material on one that I can't use on the other.

dj_filopien : Will answer me this how did u get the job for the 11 o'clock show?

Will Smith : It's quite dull really. I've worked with Phil Clark - the producer for a long time. He's fantastic, he asked me to write on the show and do some performing, that's basically it.

Bullas_East_End_mate : Do you think your the next diamond in the shite on the 11OCS and do you have plans for your own TV programme?

Will Smith : I'd love do to more on tele and hopefully am.

James : How does working on the 11'O Clock show compare with any previous comedy work you have done?

Will Smith : It's been great, Rog and I write the stuff, then we film it with John Rolf and then he edits it down, we watch the edit, and it's pretty much as we want it. We have a lot of freedom, so it's good.

The Real Y2J : I saw you on The Stand Up Show on Saturday, I just wondered do you prefer scripted or live comedy performances?

Will Smith : Live comic performances are scripted, stand ups aren't making it up all the time. But I love working live, as well as television.

andyg : you were very funny on tv tonight was that written or add lib

Will Smith : Oh that's nice... erm... it's kind of scripted but then I make it look like adlibbing, but then some of it is adlibbing. We've worked with some great people who have given us some very special moments.

Phil : will, do your interviewees ever realise you are taking the piss?

Will Smith : No they don't. One of the flattering things that has happened when filming is that people come up to us and asked to be interviewed, so they obviously don't feel that they will have the piss taken out of them, they feel the joke is on me.

Ashmundo : When do you think that you're gonna get too popular for your own good and finally everyone you interview knows who you are and realises what the game is...?

Will Smith : People have started to realise. I think there will always be people who don't watch the show and have no idea who I am. Interestingly enough the places I was recognised the most was the Erotica fair, that's MY audience!
Will Smith chuckles

Tai your royal highn : will..... who is your hero and who have you got your eyes on at the moment?

Will Smith : Comedy heroes - Laurel and Hardy, John Cleese, Stephen Fry and Steve Coogan.

Derek and Clive : Dear Willipoo's do you want to adopt me as your 'Dick Van Dyke' token 'ragamuffin' poor-boy? (I eat Fried Eggs)

Will Smith laughs
Will Smith : I need a man to polish the silver.

Gazza : Will....can you remember any instances where you really wanted a gag to go out on air, but they edited it out, or simple wouldn't allow you to do it?

Will Smith : There's has been some very funny stuff that hasn't gone out that's mainly been for time. It probably won't sound funny if I tell you now.

Woodstock : Tell us!

Will Smith : We lost a Roy Walker well hung reference at the Erotica fair, I have no idea why. Ask the lawyer.

Matthew : Are you well hung Will?

Will Smith : I have a tip like a cricket ball!

Woodstock : Will, what do you like to do in your spare time?

Will Smith : Watch Moonraker.

colin : will...if u could choose a desert island companion..who would it be?

Will Smith : Errr... Stephen Fry, or my friend Roger.

Phil : is will smith a character, or are you genuinely like that?

Will Smith : I have to quote my friend John Gordillo and say 'It's a heightened version of a part of me'.

camillapakerbowles : what would you be doing for a job if you didn't land the comedy thing?

Will Smith : Probably still working in the Jersey library.

Spy : Do you one day want to achieve full blooded fop-ness, or don't you look good in lace?

Will Smith : I've never tried lace, but I'm partial to velvet.

Frank : Will, have you ever gone abroad - like to Newcastle... or even Wales?

Will Smith laughs
Will Smith : I've only ever seen them on documentaries.

dizzydolly : How do you get your eyes to sparkle so brightly?

Will Smith : Are you the same dizzy dolly that wants to marry me?

dizzydolly : yes

Will Smith : That's scary.

Rama : Talking of which, have you had any other stalkers?

Will Smith : Yes!

Pete : Or have you ever stalked anyone?

Will Smith : No!

camillapakerbowles : Since Beckaham has shaved off his hair do we expect to see you in the brylcreem ads?

Will Smith chuckles
Will Smith : I've always threatened to shave my hair, but I'm paranoid the act won't work without it.

Chat Ed : Our half hour is up already, folks! Last three questions now... MayTrixx : wiil! did you get yer end away at the erotica fair?

Will Smith : No, but everyone in the office said that the spanking girl took a shine to me.

Silvinho : what would you do if Bulla confronted you in a dark alley?

Will Smith : Bitch slap him! He's all talk. Any time... fatboy.

abi : he's a big boy, i think he could take a bit of banter

Will Smith : Actually Bulla put us in touch with the boxing gym, so we have to thank him for that.

harry : do you like a good spanking?

Will Smith : Only if it's done right.

Gazza : Will! Are you going to do a live tour soon?!

Will Smith : I'm giging around the country as it is. I wouldn't call it a tour. But it would be nice to do one, one day.

Pete : more of a walk?
common bloke : more a crawl?
Derek and Clive : Come to Newcastle. We have Pimms.(c) Chat Ed : And last one.... (two)

Matthew : Who was your favourite BOND?

Will Smith : Moore, of course.

Spy : Are you going to go watch the dodgy sex film on channel4 now?

Will Smith : No need! I'm logged on!

Chat Ed : That's it folks! Thanks for coming Will (shocking, Connery!)

Will Smith : Sorry I didn't get to all the questions. Rob Newman I know that's not really you. Thanks a lot - I didn't think anyone would be here.

Woppo : Goodbye big Willy
Pete : Quite disgusting! Moore was awful!

Will Smith : Now get to bed, do your homework, or if you've done that... read the Bible.

Gazza : I really wanna know where I can get to see a gig too :(

Will Smith : Check Time Out, Gazza.

Mark : Olim hoc Collegium will beefycrev : Yeah....the bible ;0 as we used to tell our old school masters

Will Smith : Was I at school with you Mark??

Matthew : Goodnight Will. I'll go to sleep and have a wet dream now

Will Smith : Oh my god.

Mark : Yes

Will Smith laughs
Will Smith : Mark who?

Mark : Harris

Will Smith : Oh hello!

common bloke : Mark Myword?

Will Smith : What are you doing here, we used to sit next to each other in Maths class!

Chat Ed chuckles
Chat Ed : Right folks... Chat's over! Thanks for coming

Will Smith leaves the room