So there we were the other afternoon, down the bazaar having a quick green tea. OK, quite a slow one then. Suddenly someone says:

"I know - let's go and buy a gun!"

OK, well actually I said it. To my amazement our top-flight world-beating team of producers here greeted this idea as a flash of genuis. I liked that moment, it beng a career-first. Anyhow, what started out as a bit of a hoot suddenly became real.

It must have taken - ooh - all of eight minutes or so to source the nearest Kalashnikov-dealer. A quick call and an RV was arranged for later that afternoon. It is, technically, a bit, sort of, not legal - but then again , find me the Afghan from 16 up who does not possess a gun and I'll find you a liar. If they're not fully tooled up for a day at the office or a visit to the bazaar - they've certainly got a piece or two stashed away at home. Guaranteed.

And not two hours later, we were standing around in this bloke's house handling a Russian and Chinese AK 47 assault rifle with full magazine (30 bullets). Now, I'm barely past the stage of working out which way you point the thing - so Mr A, our former special forces security advisor was on hand to, er, advise.

Even I could see though, that the Russian job was in better nick than the Chinese. So, being the hardcore seasoned arms dealer that I am, I secured it for just $500 - pretty hot, seeings as the initial asking price was $500. My Afghan mates think it's hilarious: the most expensive AK in the whole country.

Well, we didn't actually go through with it all -- that would have just caused too many security headaches in the city of roadblocks and security checks. I mean - could you explain it?

Almost one in two Afghans has a gun - ten million of them here and zillions of rounds of ammo. The local English-language paper keeps banging on about how great it is, all these countries shipping in free.

Kalashnikovs and ammo by the plane-load for the new army.

And where did my guns come from? Yup - bent soldiers selling them off.

Still I've got what it takes when it comes to arms dealing. As we shook hands over the AK47 rip-off, sensing he was onto a complete twat, my man suddenly said, through our translator:

"Er - if you're here next week, I could get you a Blowpipe Missile or a SAM 7. Interested?"

What's "Out of my league, pal," in Dari??