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a 19 year old male asked the following question:

Question
I have been having problems having sex. On more than one occasion, with different partners, I have lost my erection, normally when trying to put on a condom. On the few occasions that I have had sex, I have only lasted a couple of minutes, which is starting to upset me. I often find myself thinking too much about things during sexual encounters, and am unable to enjoy myself.

Answer
It sounds like losing your erection just before sex (or when putting on a condom) is a reflex action when you are about to have intercourse. This is quite a common occurrence, especially for younger men. Sometimes if they concentrate again on foreplay they can get the hardness back.

It can be difficult to get used to using condoms and it's not unusual to feel awkward or embarrassed about putting them on. Have you tried experimenting with them when you're not having intercourse?

Not being to able to 'last' very long is known as 'premature ejaculation' and is another problem that lots of young men have. It might help to approach having sex in a different way. I'm sure you are aware that sex isn't just about intercourse.

One idea would be to spend time being intimate with your partner without having penetrative sex. This might help you to relax and simply enjoy being in one another's company. Could you discuss this with them? The following website has more information about premature ejaculation and some ideas for overcoming it:

www.thesite.org

If you would like to have a chat with someone in confidence, you could contact Brook - an organisation that offers help and advice on sex and contraception. The Brook helpline is 0800 0185 023 (weekdays). The people at Brook will also be able to tell you where to get free condoms.

I hope this information helps.

question number 1926

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