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a 16 year old male asked the following question:

Question
Hi. I recently tried to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Beforehand we were just kissing on her bed. I had no problem getting an erection, but when we took our clothes off and put the condom on I just lost it and I just couldn't get an erection! I blagged my way out of it but I don't think I can again! How can I stop this from happening?

Answer
It is quite common for men to have a few problems with condoms. People sometimes find that the process of putting on a condom interrupts the flow of their love-making and their erection subsides.

One way of coping with this is to become comfortable with condoms and good at putting them on quickly. Have you tried practising with condoms on your own, perhaps when you are masturbating? Some people find it easier to keep their erection if their partner helps them put the condom on.

Another trick that works for some people is to avoid thinking that penetration always happens as soon as the condom is on. Carrying on with foreplay after you've put the condom on gives time for your erection to come back. Then all you have to do is check that it is still on properly before you enter your girlfriend.

It can often be a bit stressful having sex with a partner for the first time. Stress and anxiety are other factors that can affect your ability to keep an erection. Here's where communication can help.

It sounds like you haven't really talked to your girlfriend about this. If you can talk to her it may help to ease the pressure and you will learn to relax more. Trying to 'blag' your way out of this without explaining it to your girlfriend could actually put you under more pressure to perform.

You might like to have a talk with someone about all this. You could call the Sexwise helpline between 7am and midnight every day. The number is 0800 28 29 30 and the call is free and confidential. The Sexwise website (www.ruthinking.co.uk) has a page that tells where you can get hold of free condoms. Click on 'Local Help' then tick the 'free condoms' box, type in your postcode and click 'search'.

A good article about first sex can be found through the following link. Some of the issues covered include deciding when and why, weighing the consequences and safer sex:

allaboutsex.org

Thanks for visiting the Channel 4 Health House.

question number 19408

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