It's the moment you've all been waiting for! Mustard's Editor, Alex Musson will reveal the winners and overall winner of the Window of Opportunity...
#4: AND THE WINNER IS...
Firstly, a big thank you to everyone who entered the WOO competition to write spoof Classified Ads for Mustard. There were a lot of good entries, and I narrowed the list down to 32 individual ads from a total of 15 writers. Most of these writers got one ad into the final list, some got several.
Here are the winning writers, in alphabetical order (with the number of ads in brackets): Harrison Banks (x1), Michael Byrne (x1), Gregory Brennan (x1), Nick Collins (x5), Ian Conday (x2), Diamond Dave (x2), Michael Everett (x2), Scott Graham (x8), Chelsea Grin (x1), Jayson Hewitt (x1), Straight Jacket (x1), Hill Jennings (x3), Tickling Monty (x1), Gregor Paton (x2) and Tim Shishodia (x1).
Congratulations to all of you!
These ads were going to be printed in Mustard issue #03, but I've shifted things around so they'll be in issue #02, which goes to print next week! I thought you'd like to see them in print in just a couple of weeks rather than three months.
You can see a preview of the winning ads HERE: In a couple of cases your entries may have been edited for length or tweaked slightly, take a look and please check the spelling of your name in the credits at the bottom.
The Commission goes to...
Also as part of the WOO competition, I'm selecting one overall winner who will be commissioned to write a full-length piece for the following issue of Mustard. Congratulations go to ScottTheDot! I'll be in touch soon, Scott. And kudos also to the close runner up, Nick Collins. I'd certainly like to see any other submissions that any of you finalists have in the future.
Thanks for all the entries and for letting me prattle on in the blogs over the last few weeks. See you in the funny pages,
Alex
Thank You
I'd just like to thank Alex on behalf of all users and everyone at 4Laughs for being a top sport and for writing some fascinating blogs. Cheers and good luck with the next issue! - Fay
Caption Comp
Also, for those of you who haven't read the thread on the forum, 4Laughs is setting up the Caption Comp again! This time I'm looking for amusing capitions for the Editor's Blog image. Watch for the thread on the forum to post your entries. The funniest caption will appear in next Friday's blog along with the new image.
As always, any questions or queries, just email 4Laughs@channel4.com
Cheerio!
Another fantastic blog from Mustard's Editor, Alex Musson...
#3: INTERVIEWEES
They say 'never meet your heroes', but I'm glad to say that all the interviewees I've met through doing Mustard have turned out to be really nice, generous people.
With Mustard I'm essentially trying to produce a magazine that I would like to read. So along with the new comedy material I wanted a meaty in-depth interview each issue. As well as being a really interesting read for comedy fans, these eight-page interviews help break up the magazine content a bit and provide us with a cover that helps us stand out on the shelves.
We've had three proper big interviewees so far: Michael Palin, Alan Moore and Graham Linehan, and I'll talk about each below. But our very first issue (a 16-page black-and white A4 mag produced on my work's photocopier) featured Terry Gilliam. Around the time I was planning the first issue I met him in the Curzon Soho bar, where he was waiting to do a talk after a film. He was really friendly and I chatted to him for a while. Then when I did the first issue I put him on the cover and - in really small print - the words 'stuff he said when we met him in a bar but written up to look like...' then in really large type below that 'AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH TERRY GILLIAM!'.
MICHAEL PALIN
Michael was out first proper interviewee. After a long time trying to find out how to get hold of him, I met someone who had worked with him and who would forward a letter to his PA. So I sent a letter along with a copy of our most recent issue. He liked the mag and said yes, and this was the interview that went into issue #5 of the b&w mags. We have since done another longer interview, combined that with the first one and that's what you can read in the new colour issue #02, out in a couple of weeks.
When his PA, Paul, was organising the interview he told me we were really lucky that Michael had agreed to it, as he's so incredibly busy all the time - as Paul put it "for any hour of any day for the next 8 months I can tell you what he's booked in to be doing". It was of course a huge thrill to meet one of my all-time comedy heroes. In person he's just like he comes across on TV: a very down-to-earth decent bloke. I left some Python DVDs and Palin books with Paul to get signed for my family and friends and when I picked them up I found he'd written a personal message in each one. What a nice guy.
ALAN MOORE
I went to see a BBC Radio recording where Stewart Lee interviewed one of my heroes, comic book writer and wizard Alan Moore. Similarly to how I got the Palin interview, I then contacted the producer and asked her to forward a letter to Alan. A couple of weeks later I was sitting at work when my mobile rang. "Hullo, it's Alan Moore here. I read your mag, I thought it was real good.". I nearly fell out my chair.
So a few months later me and Andrew O'Neill went to his house for the afternoon and he talked to us for four hours, making us tea and showing us artwork from the new League of Gentleman comic. Getting it all transcribed afterwards was a four-person job, never mind the editing. One of the things Alan talked about was coincidences and connections, which brings me to our next interviewee...
GRAHAM LINEHAN
Graham had seen the Mustard issue with the Alan Moore cover in Gosh (London comic shop), and used it as 'set dressing' in the new series of The IT Crowd. I found out about this when Talkback emailed me to get permission. Of course said yes, then asked if I could interview Graham. He ended up inviting me up to a recording of the show, then to the editing suite and we did the interview over lunch in a local café, which he then paid for! A total gent.
Now here's the strange coincidence: I went to the audience recording of The IT Crowd in Elstree and we were queuing in the parking lot before being let in. Each of the parking bays had nameplates on them, and I happened to glance over at the one near me, which said 'Alan More' (sic). Which I thought was quite a funny coincidence, and I took a photo on my phone. We were then herded round to the other side, where I ended up standing in another parking bay which, rather inexplicably, had the nameplate 'Wizard'.
Stay tuned for the final blog from Alex next Friday where he will announce the winners of the Window of Opportunity competition...
Alex is back for his second installment...
#2: HINTS & TIPS FOR CONTRIBUTORS
So, you want to write or draw for MUSTARD? Cool, we'd love to see your stuff. Below is guide to what we're looking for. Before you start, take a look at what's in the current issue, this will give you an idea of the general Mustard style and content. And please bear in mind that we avoid topical stuff in order to give the mag a longer shelf life.
A) WRITERS
- SPOOF NEWS. This is what we're mainly looking for: satirical articles in the form of news stories. These should be short and punchy, usually between 300 and 400 words long. Examples from issue #01: Lethargy Generator, Apple iLitigate, NanaTechnology.
Here's what we're NOT currently looking for, because we already have several lined up:
- FIRST CHAPTERS. Example in issue #01: The Big Nasty.
- TRUE STORIES. Issue #01 had Wallaby vs Truck and The Lion & the B.
- CHARACTER MONOLOGUES: e.g. Derring Dos & Don'ts (Colonel Mustard) and Skinny & Nod.
We do also take Fake Ads and Film Parodies, though these are usually drawn rather than written: more info on those below.
General tips for writers. Write a draft, leave it a week or two and then come back to it, the problems will jump out at you. Keep it concise: choose your words carefully, cut the less funny stuff ("kill your babies") - readers often don't even bother reading long articles. Avoid swearing: this will make you work harder and be more creative. Check your spelling and grammar: mistakes really distract from the writing.
B) ARTISTS
Here's what we want:
- CARTOONS - traditional one-panel cartoons. Examples from issue #01: Playing Fetch in Space, Conan the Victorian, At-Ats, etc.
- COMIC STRIPS. Example from issue #01: Superhero-Men
- FAKE ADS. Examples from issue #01: Jumper Removal Quandary, Cut-Out-House
- FILM POSTER PARODIES - often just a spoof film poster, sometimes with a review or excerpt. Examples from issue #01: Brief Encounter of the Third Kind, Them vs IT
- ARTICLE ILLUSTRATIONS - we'll brief you when we need an illo for an article or news story. Examples from issue #01: Monkey at Typewriter, Lethargy Generator
- SPOOF MAGS/BOOKS - covers to fake books or magazines. Examples from issue #01: Armchair Psychologist, The Big Nasty.
General tips for artists: Our artists must be held to an even higher standard than our writers, because the illustrations are what a prospective reader sees first when they pick up and flip through the mag. A weak illustration sticks out like a sore thumb, whilst a great one brings the entire magazine up a notch. Take a look at the art in issue #01 of Mustard. I know I'm really lucky to have those contributors, and it's their high standard you have to live up to. Also, if you want to be commissioned to draw something, see my note in Blog 1 ('Inside the Mustard Office') about being able to follow a brief. The good news is you can work from anywhere and email me. If you have a portfolio online, send me a link. That's how Skinny Gavier got the job to illustrate Armchair Psychologist (see above) in issue #01, and he lives in Russia.
Mustard Editor, Alex Musson has kindly offered to write the 4Laughs Editor's Blogs for April! He kicks off with an insight into the wonderful creative world of Mustard.
Alex, over to you...
#1: INSIDE THE MUSTARD OFFICE
Several people have asked me if they can come and help out in the Mustard office, but the trouble is there isn't one. Well, there is, but it's wherever I'm sitting with my laptop; my spare room, a coffee shop or, today, the corner of a warehouse office in Greys Inn Road (home of fellow indy mags The Pavement and Nude).
Like most independent magazines, money is tight, tight, tight - so a day job is required to keep you going whilst you work on the mag for free. I design websites three days a week and spend another two (or three) on Mustard. It's extremely time consuming because I write about half the mag as well as being Editor, Designer, Writer and tea-boy. The other half of the magazine content comes from about a dozen other writers and artists, most contributing one article each, some three or four.
WRITERS
At first the other contributors were people I'd met at work or socially: Ralph Aspinall (an old friend's brother in law), Eva Tater (work colleague) and Andrew O'Neill (comedian I met on the circuit) have all been long-time contributors, and we even had a couple of group writing sessions in a pub before Ralph and Eva moved away from London (separately; they didn't elope). More recently I've had a lot of contributions sent in via email. Most of these don't quite cut it, but there's been some great stuff from people like Russ Finn and Mike Donaldson, two regular contributors who I've never actually met face to face.
Usually people send in whatever they've written, a spoof story, classified ads, news headlines etc, but occasionally I ask them to write something specific. For example, Lloyd Langford wrote a 'first chapter' for issue #01 ('The Big Nasty') that was so good I got him to do another one in a different genre for issue #02. Also, some articles will be not quite there yet or (more often) too damn long, so it's on with my Editor's hat and I'll tweak it a bit, or hack away - this involves a fair bit of diplomacy and a back and forth of drafts between myself and the writer.
ARTISTS
There are also many contributing artists who send in their one-panel cartoons or spoof ads. Adrian Bamforth usually cranks out three or four great pieces. With issue #02 I was saved from photo-manipulation hell by a chance meeting with a professional illustrator called Daniel Morganstern, who created a series of striking Michael Palin portraits for the cover.
I often need specific illustrations created to accompany new articles, so I'll find an artist who's free and brief them (usually by scanning a doodle). This can be tricky, because if you've got a gag that you need the artist to draw it's like they're the performer. If the 'performance' - the tone or personality of the image- is off, the joke can fall flat. All props to Mike Donaldson for being consistently excellent in this respect. His 'monkey at a typewriter' image has become an unofficial Mustard logo, used across the mag and in publicity shots.
PULLING IT ALL TOGETHER
Once I've got all the articles and illustrations for an issue it's a case of laying it all out, creating a balance of content, themes and imagery across the magazine. This can be one of the most time-consuming parts as you're never really finished, you can keep tweaking forever and usually only stop because you've hit the print deadline.
PRINTING & AD SALES
The final step is actually getting the magazine printed. Even though everyone is working for free, this is where a sizeable injection of money is needed to keep the magazine alive. Each issue we have to sell enough ad space to pay for the print run, which means creating media packs and cold-calling media agencies, hitting the phones again and again. It can be a frustrating and disheartening experience and it often seems crazy that after all the work and effort everyone's put in you don't even know if it'll see the light of day. Luckily, after several false starts, I've now got a decent ad sales agency doing this for me and they seem to be on top of things, finger's crossed. Of course, now they have to sell enough ads to pay for the print run as well as their own bill.
THE FINISHED MAG
But all the hard work feels worth it when I'm holding a freshly printed copy of the new issue in my hands; something that had existed only in pixels now has a tactile existence, a weight and texture. It's time to release them into the wild, through the spawning grounds of comedy clubs and Borders bookshops across the UK. A few will perish, discarded on trains or night-busses and thrown away before they can find new owners; but most will be loved, shared amongst friends and eventually retire happily in their natural habitat: the downstairs toilet.
Alex
APRIL'S WOO!
DON'T FORGET! If you want to be in with chance to write for Mustard Magazine, enter in to this month's Window of Opportunity!
Stay tuned for next week's Editor's Blog - Alex will be chatting to us about 'Contributors Hints and Tips'.
Cheerio
GOOD AFTERNOON!
Once again, well done again to Planet_Giraffe for winning March's Window of Opportunity!
Planet_Giraffe's winning comic strip, 'Camp Tramp and Poof Woof' will be appearing in the July issue of Loaded.
Now, for something you have all been waiting for...
THE WOO IS BACK!
As 4Laughs will not be defeated, the new Window of Opportunity is up and running! Yay!
Enter this marvellous competition to be in with a chance of winning a special commission by one of the leading national comedy magazines, Mustard!
Email you questions and entries to 4Laughs@channel4.com with the title Mustard.
MUSTARD MAN
If it wasn't enough featuring Mustard Magazine as the new WOO, Mustard's Editor, Alex Musson, will be gracing April's Editor's Blog with all things comedy! In the meantime we asked Alex to tell us about his favourite new comedy talent... To read his splendid article, click HERE!
Keep your eyes peeled for more news about the new Window of Opportunity featuring the cracking Mustard Magazine!
Cheerio
