"Borat was excited at the progress made in his campaign to get cameras installed in all women's toilets in Britain."

"Trinny and Susannah had their work cut out. "

"Borat: Reproduction is fun!"

"Can we now expect a revival in the popularity of bum bags?"

"The pigeon got more than he bargained for when he accepted an offer of 'oral'."

"In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 people admitted that they've eaten a pigeon at some point in their lives."

"Morbid themes..."

"These gravestones enjoy winding up health and safety officers."

"Gravestones are a hazard, because they might topple over!"

"Death is nothing to be afraid of!"

"Warning: Depressing wallpaper can cause marital problems."

"Guess what they're watching? Yes, 8 Out of 10 cats!"

"Marilyn Manson fancied a new look."

"Forget about bird flu and the war on terror, it's evil clowns that you should be worried about!"

"Jimbo the clown was still unable to find a pair of shoes that fit him perfectly."

"A party was held after Jimbo the clown managed to ride his bicycle without stabilisers for the first time."

"Did I overdo it on the make-up?"

"Pelicans have now replaced stingrays as the most hated creatures in the animal kingdom."

"The pelican later denied claims that he is a racist, after killing this black pigeon."

"The pelican waited patiently for someone to pass the salt."

"Grandma, what a big mouth you have!"

"Dastardly and Muttley finally suceed in their attempts to stop the pigeon!"

"Piegons are stupid. Eat them!"

"This pelican had a sudden piegon craving."

"Mr Piegon, I sentence you to death for pooping on people!"

"You could cut the sexual tension in that room with a knife. "

"These clowns arrived just in time to make a special appearence at the 'Overcome your fear of clowns' seminar."

"Stop clowning around!"

"This is a dramatic reconstruction of a typical thought that goes through Russell Brand's mind."

"The circus, a.k.a. The Labour Party Conference, comes to town."

"Javier Mascherano has become the second member of Evander Holyfield's support group."

"Mike Tyson would be proud."

"Javier Mascherano later commented that he thought the incident cost him a piece of himself."

"Tottenham regretted sending Jermain Defoe to bed without dinner on the night before the match."

"A piece of Mascherano a day, will help keep the doctor away."

"Javier Mascherano - low in fat or high in fat? Anyone?"

"Jermain Defoe caused controversy for his attempt to find out how many calories there are in Javier Mascherano? "

"Mascherano has since taken out a restraining order against Defoe, as he's concerned that he'll come back for more."

"As a favour for Alan Pardew, Jermain Defoe politely tried to persuade Javier Mascherano to leave the club."

"These two women both star in the music video for 'The knife and fork song'."

"Two women at the 'How to act more middle class' seminar."

"We surrender to the common sense that is good table manners."

"After finishing the main course, Jermain Defoe turned to the referee for his dessert."

"After sampling an Argentine, Jermain Defoe came to the conclusion that British really is best."

"Javier Mascherano rues the fact that he tastes so delicious."

"This clip has proved popular on several cannibalism websites."

"Jermain Defoe demonstrated the influence that Mike Tyson has had on him."

"The crowd watched in amazement as these two magicians ate their meal without putting their elbows on the table."

"You've finally done something about your table manners, now it's time to sort out those hideous clothes you're wearing!"

"These two models were disgruntled to learn that the food on their plates is plastic, and for display purposes only."

"This picture has been criticised for being prejudice against spoons."

"A knife and a fork - two weapons that no chav should be without!"

"These two women were arrested for flouting the new health and saftey ban on cutlery."

"Put your hands up, and then carefully place your weapons on the table!"

"Look, no elbows!"

"As this picture demonstrates, knives can be used for purposes other than stabbing people."

"Rhymefest: I'm impressed by the size of David Cameron's cojones."

"Rhymefest: David Cameron for president!"

"Rhymefest: I'm off to buy some solar panels and a wind turbine for my crib, so I can be like Davey C!"

"Rhymefest was excited after being promised the position of deputy prime minister, once David Cameron gets in to power."

"Rhymefest was overjoyed after David Cameron agreed to collaborate with him on his next album."

"This photo was taken shortly after filming of the pilot episode of Pimp My Political Party finished."

"Rhymefest: Do you realise that there are two people behind us holding camera shaped guns?"

"Rhymefest: I've met Davey C, and I'm now off to meet Tony B."

"Rhymefest: No, that's not a gun in my pants, I'm just happy to see you!"

"Rhymefest: No, that's not a gun in my pants, however it is about to shoot!"

"The start of the orgy was delayed after a horny aviator tried to sneak-a-peek."

"The billed Rolling Stones play Stonehendge concert, turned out to be a hoax."

"Nine hours after being taken hostage by these evils stones, help was finally in sight."

"These people were pleased to see that the blimp had arrived on time to take them home."

"The crowd were pleased to see that the refreshments had finally arrived."

"After being outraged at not being shortlisted, this bomb was promptly sent from Blackpool Tower."

"Tresspassers beware - the blimp will destroy you!"

"The crowd were suprised to see this rather basic looking alien spacecraft."

"In some countries, the act demonstrated in this picture is called sexual intercourse."

"Both the crowd and Vladimir Kramnik failed to turn up, after finally realising how boring chess actually is. "

"Veselin Topalov: Oh come on, it doesn't smell that bad!"

"Kramnik regretted accepting Topalov's challenge of fitting as many chess pieces into his mouth as possible."

"Topalov: What are you looking at? "

"Veselin Topalov arrived several hours early to soak up the exilerating atmosphere."

"Everyone was shocked to discover that Vladimir Kramnik is actually a chair."

"Veselin Topalov beat Veselin Topalov in this years final."

"Veselin Topalov successfully executed his cunning plan of spiking his opponents drink with laxatives."

"As soon as Vladimir Kramnik heard that the losing player would be castrated, he was out of there!"

"Topalov: Maybe I shouldn't have called him 'fat'!"

"Topalov: If he's not back in five minutes, I'm gonna pop to the loo."

"Veselin Topalov was left with no choice but to play with himself."

"Topalov: Personally, I think it's disgraceful that he has to fly home to Russia just to have a poo!"

"Topalov: Is it against the rules to spike your opponents drink with invisibility potion?"

"Topalov: Was it something I said?"

"Topalov: He's the best example of a bad loser I've ever seen!"

"Chevy Chase: Seth, are you sure you're unable to ride a bike?"

"Seth: I thought I was supposed to be holding a sign advertising my latest movie!"

"These two Tour de France participants regret taking the channel tunnel as a short cut."

“We had loads of chortle-worthy Secret Policeman's Ball captions. We eventually chose Frostyboy's as the winner, as not only was it funny, but also the most original take on our Chevy and Seth picture. Congratulations!”   (davina_e...)

"You shall go to the ball... as long as you stump up the hundred quid each for tickets."

"Chevy Chase's attempts to kidnap Seth Green was met with protests."

"Chevy Chase: Oh great, we're going to be late for the ball! "

"Chevy Chase: Calm down Seth, I don't treat you that badly!"

"Chevy Chase: Anyone know the way to Amarillo?"

"What woman could possibly resist the charms of Jimmy Carr? Apparently this one!"

"Jason: I was asked in an interview recently whether I'd ever recieved a dirty sanchez. What the hell is that?"

"Jason: My website has had 80,000 more hits than yours; thus I have a larger e-penis that you!"

"Jason: I wish we hadn't agreed to wear eachother's underwear for this premiere. I miss my thong!"

"Jason: This morning, you had as much facial hair as I currently have!"

"Jason: How dare you suggest that you're as tall as I am! "

"Jason: So, you promise not to tell the press about what happened between us in my hotel room last night?"

"Jason: I admire the fact that you can still smile, despite knowing you've got an appointment with a guillotine soon."

"Jason: I bet you look good on the dance floor!"

"Thirty minutes later, between them; these two actors only had a combined total of one head."

"Jason: Can I ask why your hand is currently placed down my trousers?"

"Jason: (Mimicking Joey from Friends)How you doin'?"

"Jason: Can I ask why your hand is currently placed down my trousers?"

"Jason: Wow, your farts smell like roses!"

"A woman looks miserable. Probably because she's sitting next to Jimmy Carr."

"Marilyn: I jolly hope that they're masks!"

"Marilyn: Thank you for inviting me to the Osbourne family reunion, Ozzy. When are your relatives due to arrive?"

"Marilyn: No offense Ozzy, but I think you should question your choice of company in future."

"Marilyn: I'm worried that appearing with you in public might damage my clean-cut reputation."

"Marilyn: You and Sharon should come over to my place for dinner on Saturday. We'll be serving your favourite dish - bat!"