Comedy Ladder Position: 23

Points: 11

My name's Rich and I'm 32 years old. I have a wingspan of three metres and hundreds of six inch poisonous spines on my back. My skin is a uniform shade of pale blue and I can see in fourteen dimensions during electric storms or periods of sunspot activity. I have been told to use my powers solely for good, but it seems like such a waste.

I live in Birmingham if you can call it living. I have Asparagus Syndrome, which is a cruel mix of Aspergers and dyslexia. I'm a video editor and a multimedia specialist working mainly on UK ice hockey based projects. I've been writing comedy for several years. My most notable writings form a large component of London-based comedian Cherry Green's act. I have performed stand-up comedy myself, but I'm not sure I'm a performer at heart. In fact I am to comedy performance what Stephen Hawking is to full contact kickboxing. I'm pretty sure there are bin liners outside charity shops with better material than me. I bumble my way through a set like Lisa Riley in the 110m hurdles but with much less grace.