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PROFILE

SethGecko
Seth Gecko Profile Pic

Comedy Ladder Position: 8

Points: 55

Well it's that old cliche, i'm afraid - did journalism for a while, but then realised what I really wanted to be doing was fiction.

Specifically, comedy. So here I am.

My Web Address:

Gecko Animations


VIDEO ENTRIES

Surfing The Net

Short animation. A surfer dude meets his match when he tries to ride The Big One, cyberspace style...

Status:
Published 13-02-2008

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:14


The Bumps

Short animation. A birthday tradition ends in disaster...

Status:
Published 28-01-2008

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:22


Cardz

Short animation. Two playing cards are less than impressed with their female friend's current choice of partner.

Status:
Published 06-09-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:27

Rating:
3.1 stars


The See-Through Top

Short animation. Whilst waiting to be scooped up from the doormat, two pieces of junk mail pass the time by eyeing up a particularly alluring, female envelope.

Status:
Published 06-09-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:28

Rating:
3.0 stars


500

Short animation. A rugby ball catches his football friend cheating during a board game...

Status:
Published 05-09-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:27

Rating:
3.3 stars


Dice

Short animation. Two dice get their first glimpse of a new, female arrival...

Status:
Published 05-09-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:22

Rating:
3.3 stars


Dice

Short animation. Two dice get their first glimpse of a new, female arrival...

Status:
Published 02-07-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:22


Remotez

Short animation. On the top shelf of an entertainment unit, there's very little for two remote controls to do - except enjoy ogling their female counterpart...

Status:
Published 18-06-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:25

Rating:
2.0 stars


The Cricketers

Short animation. When the ball goes through a window during an impromptu game of cricket, it leaves an intriguing shape in the glass...

Status:
Published 13-06-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:13

Rating:
2.7 stars


Grave Robbers

Short animation. Two small-time crooks get more than they bargained for when they hide their swag in a cemetery...

Status:
Published 24-05-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:32

Rating:
2.5 stars


The Will

An eccentric millionaire makes his last wishes known...

Status:
Published 23-05-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:17

Rating:
2.5 stars


Teething Trouble

Short animation. A grouchy toothbrush gives his happy go lucky friend a reality check...

Status:
Published 21-05-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:32


Remotez

Short animation. On the top shelf of an entertainment unit, there's very little for two remote controls to do - except enjoy ogling their female counterpart...

Status:
Published 21-05-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:25


500

Short animation. A rugby ball catches his football friend cheating during a board game...

Status:
Published 27-04-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:27

Rating:
3.3 stars


Receipt (Revised Edition)

It's incredible this shop has any customers left, if this is the way they talk to them...

Status:
Published 27-04-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:21

Rating:
2.4 stars


Ransom (Revised Edition)

A serial kidnapper makes an unusual request in his latest note...

Status:
Published 25-04-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:17

Rating:
2.1 stars


Bagz

A plucky tea-bag prepares his comrades for the inevitable...

Status:
Published 24-04-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:30

Rating:
2.6 stars


Ballz

Short animation. When he catches him eyeing up his girl, a rugby ball gives his football friend a stern talking to...

Status:
Published 18-04-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:21

Rating:
2.1 stars


Matchstick Men

Short animation. Troubled by a clingy companion, a matchstick man reveals a lurid piece of gossip in an attempt to get rid of him.

Status:
Published 29-03-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:19

Rating:
2.0 stars


Break Dancing

Short animation. Essentially a parody of various dance scenes from the movies. I'll leave you to work out which ones...

Status:
Published 29-03-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:32

Rating:
1.7 stars


Matchstick Men

Short animation. Troubled by a clingy companion, a matchstick man reveals a lurid piece of gossip in an attempt to get rid of him.

Status:
Published 26-03-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:19

Rating:
4.0 stars


Break Dancing

Short animation. Essentially a parody of various dance scenes from the movies. I'll leave you to work out which ones...

Status:
Published 14-03-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:32

Rating:
2.1 stars


Receipt Of An Insult

It's incredible this shop has any customers left, if this is the way they talk to them.

Status:
Published 26-02-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:25

Rating:
2.3 stars


The Ransom Note

A serial kidnapper makes an unusual request in his latest note.

Status:
Published 12-02-2007

Submitted for:

Duration:
0:16

Rating:
3.1 stars


AUDIO ENTRIES

Rock And Roll Digs

Due to unforeseen circumstances, a rock star is forced to reluctantly cancel his meeting with a film crew who were coming to tour his home.

Status:
Published 05-09-2007

Submitted for:


Papa's Got A Brand New Nag

In an extract from his autobiography on tape, a racehorse owner recounts the strange tale of a clapped out nag and a cheating auctioneer.

Status:
Published 05-09-2007

Submitted for:


Papa's Got A Brand New Nag

In an extract from his autobiography on tape, a racehorse owner recounts the strange tale of a clapped out nag and a cheating auctioneer.

Status:
Published 18-06-2007

Submitted for:


The Eulogy

An insensitive man is asked to say a few words at the funeral of someone he barely knows...

Status:
Published 23-05-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
3.5 stars


Tainted Tacos

The owner of a Mexican restaurant records a radio spot in an effort to dispel rumours about his kitchen's poor hygiene.

Status:
Published 16-05-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
3.3 stars


Papa's Got A Brand New Nag

In an extract from his autobiography on tape, a racehorse owner recounts the strange tale of a clapped out nag and a cheating auctioneer.

Status:
Published 19-04-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.8 stars


Over-Reaction

A soon to be married man drastically over-reacts when he calls his fiancee and gets her answering machine.

Status:
Published 19-04-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.9 stars


Through The Letter-Box

The hot new show that takes an uninvited peek through the letter-boxes of the rich and famous.

Status:
Published 04-04-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.6 stars


Rock And Roll Digs

Due to unforeseen circumstances, a rock star is forced to reluctantly cancel his meeting with a film crew who were coming to tour his home.

Status:
Published 04-04-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.4 stars


Two Little Ducks

An elderly woman records a tape to help keep her comatose friend up to date with the latest hot gossip.

Status:
Published 22-03-2007

Submitted for:


Tainted Tacos

The owner of a Mexican restaurant records a radio spot in an effort to dispel rumours about his kitchen's poor hygiene.

Status:
Published 22-03-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.0 stars


Jewellery Jewellery

Sir Jimmy Saville takes us for a guided tour round his extensive jewellery collection.

Status:
Published 21-03-2007

Submitted for:


Ring Ringo

Ringo Starr launches his latest venture.

Status:
Published 21-03-2007

Submitted for:


Through The Letter-Box

The hot new show that takes an uninvited peek through the letter-boxes of the rich and famous.

Status:
Published 21-03-2007

Submitted for:


Rock And Roll Digs

Due to unforeseen circumstances, a rock star is forced to reluctantly cancel his meeting with a film crew who were coming to tour his home.

Status:
Published 14-03-2007

Submitted for:


Through The Letterbox

The hot new show that takes an uninvited peek through the letterboxes of the rich and famous.

Status:
Published 12-03-2007

Submitted for:


Alcohol Aerobics

The latest exercise craze, devised by personal trainer to The 'Z' List, Carl Wyndam. Altogether now: raise, sip, and relax...

Status:
Published 08-03-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
3.1 stars


Stock Take

An antiques dealer makes an inventory of his latest acquisitions.

Status:
Published 27-02-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
3.3 stars


Clean Up Aisle 5

A supermarket announcer makes his latest Tannoy broadcast.

Status:
Published 26-02-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
3.3 stars


It Starts With ASL

A comedy song about Internet 'Chat Rooms'.

Status:
Published 07-02-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.7 stars


The Photocopier

A photocopier repair man is left bewildered when he isn't called out during the office party season.

Status:
Published 07-02-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.4 stars


Watching Paint Dry

Today's colour is Magnolia, in another 'thrilling' edition of this new Reality TV show.

Status:
Published 05-01-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.8 stars


It Starts With ASL

A comedy song about Internet 'Chat Rooms'.

Status:
Published 05-01-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
3.0 stars


The Photocopier

A photocopier repair man is left bewildered when he isn't called out during the office party season.

Status:
Published 02-01-2007

Submitted for:


Autopsy

An inept coroner performs his latest examination.

Status:
Published 14-11-2006

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.5 stars


IMAGE ENTRIES

A Perfect Match

The same old excuse, with a new twist...

Status:
Published 01-05-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
3.3 stars

Five Aces

It's no wonder he keeps winning with unbeatable hands like this...

Status:
Published 25-04-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.8 stars

Txt Error

Oh well, I guess we'll never know now who (or what) he slept with...

Status:
Published 21-03-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
3.0 stars

Sir Tossalot

The rumour was Sir Tossalot enjoyed polishing his helmet a little too much...

Status:
Published 16-03-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
1.9 stars

The January Sail

Some people are so desperate for a bargain, they'll cross oceans to find one...

Status:
Published 12-02-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
3.0 stars

Basket Case

We all become one eventually, you know...

Status:
Published 07-02-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.8 stars

The One That Got Away

Just like Donny and Leo, even the food can't wait to escape from this year's Celebrity Big Brother House.

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.4 stars

Pulling A Mussel

The trend for unusual pets might have gone too far this time...

Status:
Published 15-01-2007

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.6 stars

Dog Collar

They bought him his first dog collar...

Status:
Published 03-12-2006

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.6 stars

Mouse Trap

"C'mon, what are you a mouse or a man?"

Status:
Published 03-12-2006

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.5 stars

Cracked Up

It's the first day of Christmas, and time for that beloved tradition: sneaking a look inside all the crackers to find out where the best gifts are.

Status:
Published 27-11-2006

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.3 stars

In Bed With Santa

To be fair, there aren't a lot of women in the North Pole.

Status:
Published 26-11-2006

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.3 stars

Surfing The Net

Riding 'The Big One', cyberspace style.

Status:
Published 05-11-2006

Submitted for:

Rating:
2.8 stars

CAPTION ENTRIES
Caption Comp

"Camilla soon regretted asking for a 'Tango' with her egg-fried rice..."

Status:
Published 07-11-2007

Submitted for:


caption comp

"The penchant for French women to go 'all natural' was really taking its toll on Harry..."

Status:
Published 24-10-2007

Submitted for:


caption comp

"Despite a half-hearted attempt to cover his face, fans quickly recognised childrens' favourite, Pob, sat in the stands."

Status:
Published 24-10-2007

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CAPTION COMP

""My mother's superior!"... "No - MY mother's superior!"..."

Status:
Published 22-10-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Whenever these 'nuns' stepped out in public, people were soon 'on the run'..."

Status:
Published 22-10-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"She'll be saying a good few 'Hail Marys' tonight to atone for a rude hand gesture like that..."

Status:
Published 22-10-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"They were both proud 69ers... And the conkers had won a few matches, too..."

Status:
Published 22-10-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Hey, aren't you Jet Li? I've seen all your films!... Please don't beat me up..."

Status:
Published 25-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Rooney's love of 80s 'Brat Pack' comedies was all too evident, as he sported a sweater tied jauntily round his waist."

Status:
Published 25-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Wayne felt like Dr. Who as he touched down in a country where the clocks were so far ahead."

Status:
Published 25-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Poor Wayne misheard when Coleen told him that she wanted her own 'career' - and bought her two."

Status:
Published 25-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Diana Ross had taken extra precautions to ensure the police didn't attempt to search her at the airport this time."

Status:
Published 23-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... People were still waiting hours for a train to turn up."

Status:
Published 23-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The boy peering over Lily's shoulder was fed up his parents still had him wearing a 'novelty dummy' at seven years old."

Status:
Published 19-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Lily and friends enjoy watching another little old lady 'struggling with bags from Tesco'."

Status:
Published 19-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Lily wasn't laughing when she saw all the 'big mouth' signs the kids were holding up all around her."

Status:
Published 19-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Lily was confident of making a killing with her new lollipops in the shape of her own big gob."

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Published 19-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"That reminds me, I must buy some buns..."

Status:
Published 17-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Simon was glad he'd decided to be eco-friendly and walk to work today."

Status:
Published 17-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"As a multi-millionaire businessman, Alan was used to women queuing up to sleep with him."

Status:
Published 17-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Man: Hi, I'm Billy Corgan - 'Smashing Pumpkins'... Blonde: Thank you very much, they're all natural... "

Status:
Published 17-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Okay, we own up, we're not really kids - it's just a fantastic Botox job."

Status:
Published 17-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Kneeling beside Anna Nicole Smith's grave, the kids couldn't resist opting for the traditional greeting she was used to."

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Published 17-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"As soon as the 'Harry Potter' work dries up, the young actors are confident they can fall back on their miming skills."

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Published 17-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The kids were disappointed when no one wanted to play 'pattacake' with them."

Status:
Published 17-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Man With Camera: I don't know about you, but I think I prefer Nicole's 'Sexy Back' to Justin Timberlake's."

Status:
Published 11-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The newly-reformed Spice Girls had clearly reaped the benefits of a Trinny and Susannah make over."

Status:
Published 11-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Security was so tight at Eva Longoria's wedding, she was flanked by four ninjas all the way to the church."

Status:
Published 11-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Confusion at the drunken egg and spoon race, as none of the entrants are particularly sure which way the finish line is."

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Published 11-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"That's it, Your Highness, now just stick your oar in - you've always been good at that..."

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Published 09-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Charles: One used to row for Eton, you know... Man In Yellow Boots: Him at the back? I didn't realise he was Spanish. "

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Published 09-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Even in today's modern age, some folk in rural areas are still forced to get to grips with outside toilets."

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Published 09-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The Prince's impression of the bomb drop in 'Dr Strangelove' would've been spot on if he hadn't forgot his cowboy hat."

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Published 09-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"A decade after first inflicting his 'songwriting' on the world, Liam's crimes against music finally catch up with him."

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Published 06-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Charlie Chaplin gets an ASBO - after performing his 'roll dance' in one restaurant too many."

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Published 06-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"This tramp was feeling particularly smug - for the first time in years, he had two coppers to rub together."

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Published 06-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Liam was having trouble getting rid of 'the fuzz'... His electric razor hadn't been working for days."

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Published 06-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Gary: What a shame Supertramp couldn't stay for the party... Harry: She had some filming to do for her new wedding show."

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Published 05-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Gary: What a shame 'Supertramp' couldn't stay for the party... Harry: Her new wedding show still had some filming to do."

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Published 05-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Harry: Where are the canapes? I'm starving!... Gary: Just have a little patience."

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Published 05-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Having read he used to love a crafty puff, the boys couldn't help sniggering whenever they called Harry 'Your Highness'."

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Published 05-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"I may be going bald - but at least I can get a wig... You'll always be short..."

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Published 05-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Anticipating it will all end in tears once again, the record company has supplied the girls with a giant hanky each. "

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Published 03-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Like many pregnant women before her, Emma Bunton was having some haemorrhoid trouble."

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Published 03-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Stepping onto the hallowed Corrie cobbles, the girls were miffed not to get the adulation 'Status Quo' got."

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Published 03-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The flags were flying at half-mast on these poles, as the final nail went in the coffin of pop music."

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Published 03-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Arnold was grateful to be among people who were too young to remember his ghastly performance as 'Mr. Freeze'."

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Published 02-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The kids had no idea how politically astute they'd been when they stuck the sign on Tony's back saying 'Kick Me'."

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Published 02-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"You kids need to pump some iron to bulk up - and you could start by lifting this 'dead weight' next to me."

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Published 02-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Arnold was doing his best to ignore Tony's immature requests to pull his finger."

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Published 02-07-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Wimbledon gets off to a troubled start as yet another player refuses to believe their ball was out."

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Published 27-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Competition among ministers to grab a spot on Gordon Brown's new cabinet is really hotting up."

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Published 27-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"During a power cut at the Sewage Works, two over zealous workers were determined to break the effluent down manually. "

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Published 27-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"At the world's first all male spa, fights were soon breaking out over who was the best at exfoliating."

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Published 27-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Sheila realised the red indian head-dress was a mistake as soon as guys started asking her to smoke their 'peace pipes'."

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Published 26-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The line dancing craze that swept the nation in the mid-nineties makes a very unwelcome return."

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Published 26-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Amy Winehouse's first foray into the world of fashion design was met with much derision."

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Published 26-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"With no one wanting to be the biker or builder, it's been tough to get this 'Village People' tribute act off the ground."

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Published 26-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Little Cruz loved to cling to his mummy and pretend he was a fireman sliding down a pole."

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Published 25-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Food and drink was banned at the stadium, but Victoria still managed to smuggle in a couple of melons. "

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Published 25-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Tom always tried to pretend he wasn't with Katie whenever she did her terrible impression of Zippy from 'Rainbow'."

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Published 25-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Brooklyn was mesmerised by the blonde lady's rabbit hand puppet."

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Published 25-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"After ending up in pink underpants and red socks, Sam vowed never again to get dressed with his sunglasses on."

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Published 20-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Whenever Brian and Tim hid the girls' games kits, they always 'forgot' their own as well, to avoid suspicion."

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Published 20-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Seal was pleased to see the ladies taking his advice to 'get a little crazy'."

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Published 20-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The performers quickly regretted standing scantly-clad outside the 'Everything For £5' shop."

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Published 20-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"John was not pleased at all that he'd fallen for Eric's 'ink on the eye of the telescope' prank."

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Published 18-06-2007

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"With fast food falling out of favour, The Hamburglar has had to resort to extreme measures to make ends meet."

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Published 18-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Yet again, Prince Philip brazenly steps on the toes of someone more important than himself."

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Published 15-06-2007

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"Okay mate, it's a fair cop, the meter's empty - but say it, don't spray it..."

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Published 15-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"With no parties or award shows to get glammed up for now she's in jail, Paris Hilton has decided to let herself go."

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Published 15-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Windsor Davies found it hard to let his Sergeant Major character go - even when asking Don Estelle if he fancied a pint."

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Published 15-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Some of the younger Labour Party members show their contempt for Tony Blair - by rubbing their bums on his leaving cake."

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Published 13-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"It quickly became apparent that sitting on top of Mount Etna wasn't such a good idea."

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Published 13-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Even Debra Messing was shocked at how camp this year's festival was shaping up to be."

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Published 13-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The girls were quite insulted the organisers had made the cake they were supposed to climb in so wide around the middle."

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Published 13-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Studio bosses were dismayed to see Quentin Tarantino had overdone it with the gore once again on his remake of 'Babe'."

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Published 11-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"These butchers thought they were onto a winner selling offcuts as 'Space Hoppers'... Outraged parents thought otherwise."

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Published 11-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Tim was more than flattered when he saw the size of the novelty posing pouch his mates had bought him for his stag do."

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Published 11-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Since they got off the island, the 'Lord Of The Flies' lads still regularly meet up to reminisce about the good times."

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Published 11-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Tyres are so old hat these days - the last thing you want is huge, inflated blobs marring the look of the bodywork."

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Published 11-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Some people are willing to go to any lengths to beat the London 'Congestion Charge'."

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Published 11-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Even four men working together couldn't get Cinderella's flat-pack carriage assembled correctly."

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Published 11-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"You've heard of a diamond in the rough? Well, this is something rough, in the diamond..."

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Published 11-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Accosted in the park by a huge crowd of buskers, Piers Morgan started to regret signing up for 'Britain's Got Talent'."

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Published 06-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Since the sixties, many have tried and failed to replicate Phil Spector's 'Wall Of Sound'."

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Published 06-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The girls were amazed to make it through the whole performance without hearing a single shout of 'show us yer g-string'."

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Published 06-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"The crestfallen pipe and tobacco enthusiasts had been expecting a different kind of 'smoke on the water' to take place."

Status:
Published 06-06-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Medieval Festival finally made the White Cliffs of Dover cool again, after years of being associated with Vera Lynn."

Status:
Published 04-06-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"James Bond was not looking forward to his latest mission - penetrating a rogue group of poncey thespians."

Status:
Published 04-06-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It was a dirty job, but Beckham was used to fishing out his wife every time someone accidentally sat on her. "

Status:
Published 01-06-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"McClaren was bent double with hysterics the moment he saw Terry's ridiculous eighties leg warmers."

Status:
Published 01-06-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It's no wonder the England squad have had no success lately, when they're wasting training sessions playing leap frog."

Status:
Published 01-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"McClaren is so keen to keep Beckham happy, he's willing to do almost anything..."

Status:
Published 01-06-2007

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CAPTION COMP

"Ten quid says he'll be needing a chiropractor first thing tomorrow morning..."

Status:
Published 29-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As many political pundits have been saying for years, Tony had dangerously over-stretched himself."

Status:
Published 29-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"There were chuckles all round when the attractive umpire said, "That'll be fifteen, love" - and Tony got out his wallet."

Status:
Published 29-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The dads and sons badminton tournament was always a source of embarrassment for Tim - because his dad was such a banker."

Status:
Published 29-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Surrounded by four gorgeous women, the over-excited Quentin couldn't resist having a quick spank."

Status:
Published 25-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Quentin was thrilled the girls kept asking him for a 'ride' - until he realised they'd mistaken him for Quentin Wilson."

Status:
Published 25-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Herman Munster's fancy head-dress was fooling noone as he attempted to audition for a spot as a Vegas showgirl."

Status:
Published 25-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"No wonder women athletes run so fast in these sports bras - they're so uncomfortable, they can't wait to get them off!"

Status:
Published 23-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""You look absolutely fabulous!" Kirstie giggled, convinced she was the first person ever to make such a witty reference."

Status:
Published 23-05-2007

Submitted for:

Editor Comments

“SethGecko's scathing caption winner really hits the spot with us at 4Laughs. Good stuff. ”   (cnorman)


CAPTION COMP

"I think you've got a bit of make-up smudged on your t-shirt there, sweetie..."

Status:
Published 23-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Meanwhile, there were two centurions on the set of 'Rome' desperately looking for their missing helmets..."

Status:
Published 23-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"'Mallet's Mallet' makes a welcome return to childrens TV, complete with sexy gogo dancer for the dads."

Status:
Published 21-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Fans were dismayed to see the latest 'Stargate' spin-off relying too heavily on sexy aliens to buoy the flagging plots."

Status:
Published 21-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The ever mucky Jodie had no trouble finding the traditional 'something blue' to wear for her wedding."

Status:
Published 21-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Everyone agreed it was gaudy and cheap... And they thought the cake was a bit over the top, too..."

Status:
Published 21-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The backing dancers had given it their all, and after the show K D Lang gave them all two thumbs up."

Status:
Published 18-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"K D Lang finally hits on the perfect way to sate her 'constant craving'."

Status:
Published 18-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"This was the first loan in history where all involved were praying for a repossession."

Status:
Published 16-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Tony had pictured things going differently when he agreed to take part in 'Wife Swap' with the Rooneys."

Status:
Published 16-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"They say Tony's aged twenty years since becoming PM, but he still looks fresh as a daisy compared to Cherie."

Status:
Published 16-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It wasn't as bad as Tom Cruise bouncing on the couch, but Oprah still found Tony's granny grabbing antics disturbing."

Status:
Published 16-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The female prisoners were over the moon when they heard they'd be spending the summer in Paris."

Status:
Published 14-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The inmates at the women's prison were all thrilled to be told they'd soon be spending a night in Paris..."

Status:
Published 14-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"'Bananarama' weren't the coolest group around, but there's no denying the three girls had a lovely set of hits..."

Status:
Published 14-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As the bright UFO hovered overhead, several ditzy girls thought the sun was out and stripped to their bikinis..."

Status:
Published 14-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Some of the younger 'Women's Lib' members got awfully confused, and burnt their blouses instead of their bras..."

Status:
Published 14-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As an American, Gene Simmons from 'Kiss' felt obliged to insult the 'French'..."

Status:
Published 11-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout..."

Status:
Published 11-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Statistics suggest 'mermaid syndrome' can strike as many as 2 in 5 people who spend all their time at the seaside..."

Status:
Published 10-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The risque design of the knitted halter top did not go down well among fashion-conscious prudes..."

Status:
Published 10-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The 'Alf Garnet' look-alike contest had failed to attract more than a few diehard fans... "

Status:
Published 10-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The 'Mr. Universe' competition just isn't the same since they banned steroids..."

Status:
Published 10-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Well I guess it's all true... He really won't be satisfied till he's had the jackets off our backs..."

Status:
Published 04-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"In a pitiful attempt to grab ratings, the 'Grange Hill' writers have decided it's time for Zammo to rise from the dead."

Status:
Published 04-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Remarkably, all these balloons were able to be filled with the hot air Tony and I have expelled over the last ten years."

Status:
Published 04-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The young man on the right was just biding his time, waiting to do a quick 'bunny ears' behind the Chancellor's head."

Status:
Published 04-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"If you think I'm big, you should see the size of my carrot..."

Status:
Published 02-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"We have stupid plotlines like this to thank for Pam quitting 'Baywatch'..."

Status:
Published 02-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Alice had been told not to go off with strangers, so she had no intention of following the white rabbit..."

Status:
Published 02-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"When Pamela's rabbit gets rampant, she often resorts to beating him off..."

Status:
Published 02-05-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Mmm, there's a good bit of meat on David... But I think Victoria's going to be a bit gristly..."

Status:
Published 30-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Me Tarzan, you Jane"... "No, you Andy, me Jane - and stop being so stupid!"..."

Status:
Published 30-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Tickets for 'The London Eye' were selling like hot cakes, as people went round twice to have a good ogle..."

Status:
Published 30-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As keen swingers, Bob and Susan were used to getting to grips with strange snakes... "

Status:
Published 30-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Branson gets ready for a touch down in the end zone..."

Status:
Published 26-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Gimme a T... W... A" ... "Er, that's the wrong song, girls" ... "No, it's not...""

Status:
Published 26-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After all these years, Toni Basil finally reveals the identity of her 'Mickey'..."

Status:
Published 26-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I'll tell you what, you can play with my helmet if I can have a go with your pom poms..."

Status:
Published 26-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"New evidence suggests a zebra who escaped London Zoo in the 70s got up to more mischief than was previously thought."

Status:
Published 25-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"So much for copying 'The Great Escape'... I was promised a motorbike... And if it's in that skip, I'm not riding it..."

Status:
Published 25-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Tired of being ignored by drivers, a group of disgruntled zebra crossings have gone on strike, indefinitely..."

Status:
Published 25-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The fancy dress contest at the village fair ended in farce, when all the entrants turned up as Liquorice Allsorts..."

Status:
Published 25-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Amy was determined to emulate her hero Tommy Cooper, by performing the old 'rabbit pulled from a hat' trick badly wrong."

Status:
Published 23-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It was all fun and games, until the lemur got the horn and tried to hump her hair-do..."

Status:
Published 23-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The world's worst 'drug mule' attempts to sneak through Customs with his ridiculously over-stuffed condom."

Status:
Published 20-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"When asked how he'd feel if he won the marathon, Lloyd said he'd be 'bowled over'... A second later, he was..."

Status:
Published 20-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Well, it was my New Year's Resolution to shift a stone..."

Status:
Published 20-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I've been determined to shift a stone since Christmas..."

Status:
Published 20-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Mr. Men and Little Misses just love to crowd surf at the summer music festivals... "

Status:
Published 18-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Desperate for a sugar fix, 'The Borrowers' found themselves trapped in the bubblegum machine... Yet again..."

Status:
Published 18-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The men were only too pleased to oblige when the cute blonde put her hand up and asked to play with their 'big balls'. "

Status:
Published 18-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Helium balloon transport system, introduced to combat pollution, fails to get off the ground..."

Status:
Published 18-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"That firm bulge better be your mobile phone, dude... Seriously..."

Status:
Published 13-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As soon as the party popper went off, the former bodyguard let his instincts get the better of him."

Status:
Published 13-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It never looked this gay when Hulk Hogan did it... Oh no wait, it did..."

Status:
Published 13-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After getting in a tangle, the lads were glad they'd tried their synchronised swimming routine on dry land first."

Status:
Published 13-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Roses are red, violets are blue... This flower's a little on the big side, and let's be honest, so are you..."

Status:
Published 11-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After growing the sunflower for months, Sam was miffed his pal gave it away before he'd got a snap to prove its height."

Status:
Published 11-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I don't know about 'Instant Karma', but the Fashion Police are certainly going to get you..."

Status:
Published 10-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Woman, I can hardly express, my mixed emotions... at your hideous outfit..."

Status:
Published 10-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Determined to keep him off drugs, Kate Moss has told Pete Doherty's flunkies to take no chances with 'acid' rain."

Status:
Published 10-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"In an early leaked shot from 'Gremlins 3', two businessmen battle desperately to keep their Mogwai from getting wet."

Status:
Published 10-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As the two patients entered the hospital, the doctors all agreed they'd never seen haemorrhoids like it."

Status:
Published 04-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Russell and Noel find a novel use for Jordan's old implants..."

Status:
Published 04-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Morecambe and Wise once closed the show with a version of Bowie's Heroes - it was good, but it was no Bring Me Sunshine."

Status:
Published 02-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"And to think our wives said we'd never fit in these again - ha!... Seriously, though, are your legs going numb, too?..."

Status:
Published 02-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Is it a bird?... Is it a plane?... No, it's two prats trying to recapture their youth..."

Status:
Published 02-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Waiting too long between laundrette visits, the students were left with nothing to wear but their fancy dress costumes."

Status:
Published 02-04-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As Suzanne leaned forward in her ripped jeans, Amanda couldn't help admiring the neatly trimmed bush... "

Status:
Published 30-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Disqualification looms, as this year's Tour De France winner leans forward and is found to have had an unfair advantage."

Status:
Published 30-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Even experienced players were finding this week's 'Spot The Bike' competition particularly challenging."

Status:
Published 30-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The girls were no strangers to riding long things - especially ones they had to power themselves..."

Status:
Published 30-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As Ben and Wayne fought over the best way to start hunting, the little boy in black found the golden egg and won."

Status:
Published 28-03-2007

Submitted for:

Editor Comments

“SethGecko ignores Israeli and Palestinian politics in favour of a novel and quite surreal Easter Egg gag! Tippeth the cap, sir, tippeth the cap! ”   (cnorman)


CAPTION COMP

"Haim had been grabbing balls Vinnie Jones style all day - but Rooney was having none of it and head-butted him."

Status:
Published 28-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Most people would say they'd rather die than be seen looking like this - but some men are comfortable in white socks."

Status:
Published 26-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"If it gets us adopted by Angelina Jolie, all this nappy rash will be worth it..."

Status:
Published 26-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Hannibal, Murdoch and Face have all been cast, but they've had no luck yet finding a tiny BA for 'A-Team Juniors'."

Status:
Published 26-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The latest 'Home Alone' sequel in a nutshell: a baby smoking, whilst his older brothers drink and risk getting the clap."

Status:
Published 26-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"When I was in Spain I learnt Spanish - so I'd better learn American, too. Can you help me sign up for an online course?"

Status:
Published 23-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Distracted by the pretty lights on screen, David failed to spot the arm wrestling match about to take place behind him."

Status:
Published 23-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Later, the lads were dared to raise their kilts Carry On style. But they drew the line at being taken up the Kyber Pass."

Status:
Published 21-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low... Ahh, that's better... There's nothing like a good curry..."

Status:
Published 21-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"They can take our land, but they'll never take our freedom... to make prats of ourselves!"

Status:
Published 21-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"There were startled looks all round when fans saw the state of 'The Pussycat Dolls' without their make up."

Status:
Published 21-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Disgruntled visitors all agreed 'The Chelsea Flower Show' wasn't up to its usual standard this year."

Status:
Published 20-03-2007

Submitted for:

Editor Comments

“SethGecko works wonders with a pretty poor picture to win the Sleeping Dogs caption comp. A Police Academy Boxset and some Comedy Store tickets will be winging their way to the Gecko shortly.”   (cnorman)


CAPTION COMP

"No one was surprised when the dizzy blonde mistook the shoulder pad for an eye makeup remover pad."

Status:
Published 20-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Elizabethan remake of 'Cheers' was going well - until someone gaffed by leaving a modern day ashtray in shot."

Status:
Published 19-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It became obvious Nelson was drunk, when just moments later he asked Hardy to kiss him."

Status:
Published 19-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As soon as he heard the words 'Dick' and 'toast', Matt Willis had a jungle flashback, made his excuses, and left."

Status:
Published 19-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Fans were gutted to see Johnny Depp had let himself go a bit in early shots from 'Pirates Of The Caribbean 3'."

Status:
Published 19-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"All these years later, Charles still cracks up every time he watches footage of his mother saying 'annus horribilis'."

Status:
Published 14-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"They say during Jerry Springer's 'I Married My Horse', Charles was spotted insisting the bride was 'just his type'."

Status:
Published 14-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Charles was delighted when news broke that James Hewitt has, in fact, always been sterile."

Status:
Published 14-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Charles: Ha ha! Look at the huge lugs on that guy - whatcha Dumbo! ... Minder: Er, that's a mirror, Your Highness."

Status:
Published 14-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Attempts to keep the new 'Baywatch' movie tasteful and wholesome were met with much derision. "

Status:
Published 12-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The girls couldn't resist the huge bulge in Mr. Bean's bum bag... Several thousand Australian dollars. "

Status:
Published 12-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Oh my God, weren't you in 'The Little Mermaid'? I'm your biggest fan!"

Status:
Published 09-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Here's a lobster to go with your crabs..."

Status:
Published 09-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I think it's our duty as animal lovers to show this lobster a good time before we eat him."

Status:
Published 09-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As soon as the lobster saw Caprice he headed for a hot, wet place... The cooking pot."

Status:
Published 09-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Alice gave them each a pill from the bottle marked 'Eat Me', then waited for Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee to grow big."

Status:
Published 07-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Racy Butlers eagerly swallowed their Viagras as they prepared for a whole other kind of marathon. "

Status:
Published 07-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After they jokingly asked her if she wanted to get 'fruity', Victoria made the butlers wash their mouths out with soap."

Status:
Published 07-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As dental hygiene has improved, the Tooth Fairy has had to resort to desperate measures to keep her tally up."

Status:
Published 07-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Farmer Seth was certain keeping these prize specimens well watered would help them grow even bigger."

Status:
Published 05-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Right, now bring out the rabbit and let's really get this show on the road..."

Status:
Published 05-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Hands up all those who think 'The Da Vinci Code' was a load of old twaddle..."

Status:
Published 02-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The priests were less than pleased to discover their robes had been over-starched."

Status:
Published 02-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After committing numerous sins against pop music, the Village People go all religious for their comeback tour."

Status:
Published 02-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""The stick up ruined our holiday", said the priest with the camera, before he prayed for 'our souls'."

Status:
Published 02-03-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Chess champions often compensate for the size of their bishops by playing with oversized pawns."

Status:
Published 28-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Once, when Michael Jackson asked for Bubbles, his entourage got the wrong idea and brought him two big bottles of Matey"

Status:
Published 28-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"With his footballing career now in jeopardy, Bellamy was hoping to get a gig as a lookalike for the Rank gong banger."

Status:
Published 27-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Footballers are, of course, well known for playing a round."

Status:
Published 27-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Well, surprise surprise, yet another footballer is caught 'swinging'."

Status:
Published 27-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I'm desperate for a slash, mate - 45 minutes each half is just too long to be stuck out here."

Status:
Published 27-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"His shirt may have said 'yes', but when he got home stinking to high Heaven, his wife said 'no'."

Status:
Published 23-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The RSPB were alarmed to hear two 'tits' had become tangled in plastic."

Status:
Published 23-02-2007

Submitted for:

Editor Comments

“Like the marathon runners pictured, SethGecko also alerts us all to environmental dangers; the environmental consequences of looking a wee bit silly! Good work Seth! ”   (cnorman)


CAPTION COMP

"The rumour is they're only running to take their minds off their girlfriends, who dumped them for being too 'clingy'."

Status:
Published 23-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Ed and Sean had taken their obsession with 'safe sex' a little too far this time."

Status:
Published 23-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Good old rock, paper, scissors - there's not much else to do when you haven't pulled and you're waiting for a taxi home."

Status:
Published 21-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"That's right, I've just learnt sign language - and here's a hint what this 'F' means: two words, second one's 'off'..."

Status:
Published 21-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Whenever the lights go out, Ana and Jake both instinctively do their best to get a leg over."

Status:
Published 20-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It was neck and neck as they neared the finish line in the Mixed Gender Hurdles Race."

Status:
Published 20-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Framed photos for faces may look silly, but after winning a makeover, some girls refuse to go back to being 'ordinary'."

Status:
Published 15-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After years of dealing with music executives, the girls were used to having wood held in front of their faces."

Status:
Published 15-02-2007

Submitted for:

Editor Comments

“SethGecko follows up his Brand New Brits winning caption by revelling in outright lewdness... just like he did in his winning entry in Brand New Brits! Seth, you'll be getting a reputation! Great work. ”   (cnorman)


CAPTION COMP

"I've already lit my post-coital fag - so it's too late now to be checking if we could've got those dolls cheaper."

Status:
Published 14-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Directors often have to help David Beckham read his scripts whenever he makes a TV or film appearance."

Status:
Published 14-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"These two choir boys could never resist a crafty puff at the back of the pews during rehearsals."

Status:
Published 14-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As is often the case with pirated items, Jay and Bob's copy of the forthcoming 'Harry Potter 7' was hopelessly blurry."

Status:
Published 14-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Roger was used to getting the cold shoulder from the women he met."

Status:
Published 12-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Dr Frank N Furter's 'Medusa Device' claims another hapless victim."

Status:
Published 12-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The sculpture was made from two kilos of 'snow'... Or a week's supply to most models. "

Status:
Published 12-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As far as Roger was concerned, he'd met the real Elle - she would've given him the cold shoulder too."

Status:
Published 12-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""I've had to hire these bodyguards because I was getting too much attention from my fans", said Geri, "all two of them.""

Status:
Published 09-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""I'm still standing", said Elton, "Because I'm aching from my piano stool... And not for any other reason.""

Status:
Published 09-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Chris Martin knew he'd have no worries leaving Gwyneth alone with the now past-it Brad Pitt."

Status:
Published 09-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Rebel, Rebel, your face is a mess... And you two are a bit ropey as well."

Status:
Published 09-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It may look like there's nothing down south, but I assure you I'm this big... In keenness terms - which makes up for it."

Status:
Published 07-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It may look like there's nothing down south, but I assure you I'm this big... In keenness terms - which makes up for it."

Status:
Published 07-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"You know what they say about guys with big hands, don't you girls?... That's right, big gloves."

Status:
Published 07-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Bloody Hell, is that Cheryl?" Said Mohamed, "She's let herself go since she got married.""

Status:
Published 07-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The girls weren't smiling once they realised they were the pins in this game of 'Human Skittles'."

Status:
Published 07-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Members of 'The Haemorrhoid Society' enjoy their annual day out at the seaside. "

Status:
Published 05-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"No one was surprised when the Gift Shop aboard the newly launched 'Titanic 2' sold out of lilos within minutes."

Status:
Published 05-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As soon as he heard the Sperm Bank pay for donations, Glen knew he had found his true vocation at last."

Status:
Published 02-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"This entrepreneur was destined for failure the moment he named his new energy drink 'Man Juice'."

Status:
Published 02-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"When you're sexually frustrated, you'll take any chance you can to get your face between two jugs."

Status:
Published 02-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The fairground attendant later regretted standing in this position behind his shooting gallery."

Status:
Published 02-02-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Oh for fox sake..."

Status:
Published 31-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Coming soon to a cinema near you: 'An American Werewolf In Jordan'."

Status:
Published 31-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"One's a fox, who a lot of men dream of catching whilst playing with their horns... And the other one's Jordan."

Status:
Published 31-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Peter Andre was very embarrassed when he realised he'd forgotten to shave again."

Status:
Published 31-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The happy couple's big day was completely ruined when someone dropped a filthy hanky on top of their wedding cake."

Status:
Published 29-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""I can't wait to be in America", smiled David, "She's surprisingly fit in 'Ugly Betty'.""

Status:
Published 29-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Beckhams were extremely perturbed their limo driver had mis-spelt their name on his sign."

Status:
Published 29-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""What these wannabes don't know, is I'm actually giving them the finger behind this sign", sniggered Bush."

Status:
Published 29-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""And this is what I'm hoping to look like", said the sex-swap patient."

Status:
Published 25-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I won't be needing glue to stick this to the wall, I can tell you..."

Status:
Published 25-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""This 'sexing-up' of the Mona Lisa during it's annual re-touch is an absolute abomination!" Said the Art Critic."

Status:
Published 25-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It's all glitzy, with not much to say for itself - in fact, it's just like being on a date with the real Paris."

Status:
Published 25-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"With all those groupies we've had, this is the first time we've had our own hands on our crotches for years."

Status:
Published 24-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Can we hurry this along?" said the one-gloved Terry, "I've got a Michael Jackson tribute act booking to get to.""

Status:
Published 24-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"When the three of us said we'd need a hand or two to stay upright, this isn't what we had in mind."

Status:
Published 24-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The portable X-ray machines were instrumental in solving the mystery of the three missing midgets."

Status:
Published 24-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The audience were horrified when the pensioner's wig fell off during the Barbie lookalike contest. "

Status:
Published 22-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Okay, which one of you wants to go first? And bear in mind we've only got half an hour till my Viagra wears out.""

Status:
Published 22-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Well, the organisers did promise me the gig if I kissed their shiny helmet... So here goes..."

Status:
Published 22-01-2007

Submitted for:

Editor Comments

“The image of Russell Brand holding a helmet was always going to invite troublesome innuendo. SethGecko delivers such excellent vulgarity with ease! ”   (cnorman)


CAPTION COMP

"Unfortunately, Madame Tussauds were running short of wax when they made their exhibit of Russell."

Status:
Published 22-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Fagin picks a pocket or two, and finds a silver trinket."

Status:
Published 22-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I don't reckon much to this new razor - it's not taking anything off."

Status:
Published 22-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I did up all my buttons on my own. Mummy will be so proud."

Status:
Published 18-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As Sly did his war dance, the woman in the next row couldn't resist joining in with a traditional Red Indian battle cry."

Status:
Published 18-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"So I just rub my belly then pat my head at the same time? I'll try, but my arm won't go higher than this. "

Status:
Published 18-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I knew I shouldn't have had that fourth hamburger... Oh well, up it comes."

Status:
Published 18-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Skydiver realised trying to copy 'Mary Poppins' wasn't the best idea he'd had when his umbrellas failed to open."

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The ice-cream man hadn't been his usual friendly self since the breakdown."

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""No one calls me a sci-fi geek!" George Lucas screamed at the unsuspecting 'Star Wars' fans."

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"An absent-minded Clark Kent forgets to rip his clothes open and remove his glasses before taking off as 'Superman'."

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Another X-Factor wannabe fails to take rejection well."

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Even the guys who guide the planes in suffer from 'parking rage' sometimes, when they can't find a space on the tarmac."

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"To manicure, or not to manicure... That is the question."

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Behold 'Invisible Sword Swallowing' - the latest craze sweeping the nation."

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Early reports say the 'dragged through a bush backwards' look is set to be all the rage on the catwalks this spring."

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Charlotte Church had overdone it on the vodka again."

Status:
Published 17-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Okay, PJ, ready when you are..."

Status:
Published 15-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Sex Shop punters found the latest blow-up doll design a major turn-off."

Status:
Published 15-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Drive up to the next window to collect your order, please... Oh no, wait, I forgot to ask if you want fries with that?"

Status:
Published 12-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Truth behind Xmas flight delays: an air traffic controller stormed off after being told he looked 'phat' in his suit."

Status:
Published 12-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Can someone get me a sick bag? I've just heard on the radio here Tony's booked me in for a holiday with the Bee Gees."

Status:
Published 12-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Desperate to get 'down' with the youth, MC G heads into the studio to record a cover of 'Money's Too Tight To Mention'."

Status:
Published 12-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Okay, well that's settled. We'll have the Graduation Ball on Monday. Does anyone have anything to add?...""

Status:
Published 12-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Bob's elephant impression always went down a storm."

Status:
Published 12-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""I'm not one to tell tales, Sir... But I think Gordon's made a paper plane to throw at you.""

Status:
Published 12-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Pick me, Sir, pleeeeease - I know the answer!""

Status:
Published 12-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Pull my finger..."

Status:
Published 11-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Umpires do this a lot to the England cricket team. I think it means we're number one..."

Status:
Published 11-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Rio lets John know what he thinks of politicians by showing him the finger."

Status:
Published 11-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""I think you'll find this is the best way to eat a Hula Hoop", Rio argued."

Status:
Published 11-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"There's a good doggie - now just hold still while I get these fleas out and then it'll be time for walkies."

Status:
Published 11-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Jo found out the hard way that copying 'There's Something About Mary' wasn't such a good idea after all."

Status:
Published 11-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""I've had my pole up so long my helmet's starting to chafe...""

Status:
Published 10-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Colonel Sander's attempts to branch out into seafood with genetically modified squid raised more than a few eyebrows."

Status:
Published 10-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Fans of the 'Alien' movie series proudly display their tribute to that classic John Hurt 'birth' scene."

Status:
Published 08-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Patricia had taken her kangaroo obsession too far this time."

Status:
Published 08-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Marjorie was having such a lovely day out in London - until the minature UFO landed on her head."

Status:
Published 08-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Despite her four husbands, Sue has just one child, as it takes them so long to undo their buttons and get their kit off."

Status:
Published 08-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Would you like to suck my lollipop?" Lemmy from Motorhead asked the crowd... Unsurprisingly, there were no takers."

Status:
Published 04-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Record weights reported for newborns, near site of Korean nuclear testing."

Status:
Published 04-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""People have always mistaken me for a toddler - so I might as well dress like one", said Ronnie Corbett."

Status:
Published 04-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Orville lookalike contest attracts record number of entrants."

Status:
Published 04-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Well that's Christmas done for another year - three cheers for eleven months off! Hip Hip..."

Status:
Published 03-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Sadly, this bit of festive fun backfired for these pizza boys when angry customers assumed their food would be free."

Status:
Published 03-01-2007

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"This was fun and everything, but I don't think it really counts as a threesome - it was a two and a half, at best."

Status:
Published 22-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"No matter what they did, Sly and his wife couldn't shake off the midget stalker."

Status:
Published 22-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Blow this Pilates for a game of soldiers - I just heard my bones crack!"

Status:
Published 21-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Oooh, just wait til I get you home, dear - I'll be rubbing a lot more than your lamp, I can tell you."

Status:
Published 21-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Darren Day announces yet another engagement - this time to Brazilian singing sensation Margherita Prakatan."

Status:
Published 21-12-2006

Submitted for:

Editor Comments

“User of the Week, SethGecko picks up his second caption comp comedy point of the week with this witty observation. Further kudos is due for even attempting to spell the South American singer's name! ”   (cnorman)


CAPTION COMP

"See? My mouth is nowhere near big enough to fit these in... Which is why I desperately need Jagger-plasty. "

Status:
Published 19-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I'll be having some fun tonight with these little beauties - I suppose it all started when I saw 'American Pie'..."

Status:
Published 19-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"I'll be having some fun tonight - I guess the obsession first started when I saw 'American Pie'... "

Status:
Published 19-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Brendan's first attempt at ventriloquism did not go down as well as he'd hoped."

Status:
Published 19-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Phwoar, look at that Julia Roberts, I'd love to give her a pearl necklace... But I can't quite grip it with my flippers."

Status:
Published 19-12-2006

Submitted for:

Editor Comments

“Like an Uncle at Christmas, SethGecko provides the smut! Good man! ”   (cnorman)


CAPTION COMP

"Religious groups were outraged by the 'sexing up' of the Virgin Mary for this year's Celebrity Nativity."

Status:
Published 19-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"George was struggling to make up the numbers for 'Ocean's 14'."

Status:
Published 19-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Graham Norton imposter gave himself away when he was spotted sneaking up behind Julia Roberts."

Status:
Published 19-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""I don't think you've got the hang of this auction business - you can't all bid at once!""

Status:
Published 15-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""Hands up who's ready for the Booze Cruise!""

Status:
Published 15-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""I know that guitar is used to 'cheese' - but there's no need to grate it on the strings.""

Status:
Published 14-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""They're huge, for sure - but I think that cut-price surgeon may have botched our penile implants.""

Status:
Published 14-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""Ooh, is that a bedpan on your lap or are you just pleased to see me?""

Status:
Published 14-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""Time to massage your foot, then"... "Reflexology?"... "You can call it that if you want, dear, yes"... "

Status:
Published 14-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""I don't care if it's an emergency, you'll just have to wait in line - but then I suppose you're used to that.""

Status:
Published 12-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

"William was beginning to regret handing over control of his security arrangements to Starsky and Hutch."

Status:
Published 12-12-2006

Submitted for:


EDITOR'S BLOG

"Four Scottish students take a 'Wii' break from their studies."

Status:
Published 11-12-2006

Submitted for:


EDITOR'S BLOG

"Harrods try to modernise by hiring trendy new security staff."

Status:
Published 11-12-2006

Submitted for:


EDITOR'S BLOG

"After queuing for hours, these little piggies went 'Wii, Wii, Wii' all the way home."

Status:
Published 11-12-2006

Submitted for:


EDITOR'S BLOG

""You've Been ASBO'd" - hilarity ensues as tearaway teens are shown wacky footage of their antics."

Status:
Published 11-12-2006

Submitted for:


EDITOR'S BLOG

"These four couldn't wait to get their equipment out - they'd been desperate for a 'Wii' all day."

Status:
Published 11-12-2006

Submitted for:


EDITOR'S BLOG

"Huddled round a tiny TV to watch Countdown whilst wrapped in tin foil to keep warm - the student life circa 2006."

Status:
Published 11-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""One, two, three, four - I declare a thumb war...""

Status:
Published 08-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The world's only inter-racial Siamese twins announce the release of their Christmas single - a cover of 'Stuck On You'."

Status:
Published 08-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Press tried to put a positive spin on it, but it was clear the arm wrestling contestants weren't trying anymore."

Status:
Published 08-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Elvis Presley's number one fan points the way to the pies - it's what The King would've wanted."

Status:
Published 07-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Someone take those batons off him - that plane's heading straight for us!""

Status:
Published 07-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""We like big butts and we cannot lie - preferably this big...""

Status:
Published 06-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Donkey Kong fans pay tribute to their hero with a synchronised invisible barrel throw. "

Status:
Published 06-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Annual Semaphore Convention was marred by the aging hippy who forgot to bring the flags."

Status:
Published 06-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""How big a fool do we all look? That's right. This big!""

Status:
Published 06-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After another full day with children on their laps, The Store Santa's Club take their nightly walk to dry their clothes."

Status:
Published 05-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Onlookers prayed the father who paid a premium to hire the 'last' Santa outfit on Xmas Eve wouldn't look behind him."

Status:
Published 05-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Emir's 'Noddy and Big Ears' joke usually went down so well, too."

Status:
Published 04-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Charles and Emir spent all day on the throne - that's the price you pay when you chance buying a kebab from a van."

Status:
Published 04-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Okay, now remember to take your time 'raising' fellas, or you know what'll happen.""

Status:
Published 01-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The Atlantis Brothel was badly under-staffed, so the clientele had to make their own entertainment while they waited."

Status:
Published 01-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Desperate for a spot on Family Fortunes, Britney Spears uses her wiles on an unsuspecting Vernon Kay."

Status:
Published 01-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"A gushing blonde mistakenly believes she's just met one of The Beatles."

Status:
Published 01-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Panic sets in at The Annual Gurning Competition as the contestants feel the wind changing."

Status:
Published 01-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""This sleeping your way to the top lark is a lot easier than I thought it would be.""

Status:
Published 01-12-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""Play your cards right, Love, and you might get to see The South Pole.""

Status:
Published 29-11-2006

Submitted for:

Editor Comments

“SethGecko gets a comedy point not merely for knowing that penguins come from the South and not the North Pole, but for applying good old innuendo to the caption comp! Well done!”   (cnorman)


CAPTION COMPETITION

"'The Black And White Minstrels' unveil their new look, sparking rumours of an imminent comeback."

Status:
Published 29-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

"Brittany has always been a huge fan of 'The Black And White Minstrels', and was so thrilled to finally meet them."

Status:
Published 29-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""Well my beak wasn't designed for that, but I'll give it a go.""

Status:
Published 29-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After the divorce, Mickey and Minnie remained friends, and were often seen out together with their new partners."

Status:
Published 28-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Well what did you expect? It was the best the Escort Agency could come up with at short notice.""

Status:
Published 28-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Unfortunately, once Jimmy Saville discovered his medallion was missing, the whole stunt had to be called off."

Status:
Published 27-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"As soon as it started swinging, David realised shackling himself to a wrecking ball was not such a good idea after all."

Status:
Published 27-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After being told he'd be 'getting Alladin', an excited George signs up as the villain for Panto season. "

Status:
Published 23-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"George proudly shows off the fruits of his 'Fastlove', from his 'Young Gun' days, before he turned 'A Different Corner'."

Status:
Published 23-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""This is my fifth ride on the dodgems today - I love them", says the excited little boy in the middle."

Status:
Published 21-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"By squatting on the dashboard and pretending to be a 'nodding dog', Tom was confident no one would spot him. "

Status:
Published 21-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Well my therapist has always said I should learn to take the bull by the horns more often.""

Status:
Published 20-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After a drunken Escort Agency call, even Russell Brand had to admit he'd bitten off more than he could chew this time."

Status:
Published 20-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"When the Martian invasion finally happened, Earth was surprisingly receptive."

Status:
Published 20-11-2006

Submitted for:


STORYBOARD

"Gary's stag night had been a disaster."

Status:
Published 17-11-2006

Submitted for:


STORYBOARD

"It was time for the fancy dress competition at the Village Fair."

Status:
Published 17-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Elton's group were determined to stick to the 'casino' theme, by coming as a poker hand: 3 Queens and a smashing pair."

Status:
Published 16-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Sooty's invisibility cloak was working like a charm as he was carried unnoticed through the crowd. "

Status:
Published 15-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"In a deleted scene from 'You Only Live Twice', even the extras were bemused at Bond's ridiculous Japanese 'disguise'."

Status:
Published 14-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"The newly reformed Genesis were shocked to spot ex-frontman Peter Gabriel selling hot dogs at their latest concert."

Status:
Published 14-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"It was a difficult choice for The Organ Grinder as three contenders vied to be his next Monkey."

Status:
Published 14-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Get your ice creams here... Well just cream, really - they've all melted in this heat.""

Status:
Published 14-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Arnold's celebrations were marred by the freakishly large hail-stones."

Status:
Published 13-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Arnold's pathetic 'Stretch Armstrong' impression is met with a symbolic barrage of lead balloons."

Status:
Published 13-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Alice and Brian were forced to admit they hadn't quite got the hang of their new bricklaying hobby."

Status:
Published 10-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"Tempers fray as OAP's are once again told heating costs will rise this winter."

Status:
Published 09-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"NHS specs wearers unite at a protest march, disgusted by the hideous new frame designs. "

Status:
Published 09-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

""Oooooh, that tickles.""

Status:
Published 09-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMP

"After hearing he's about to be single again, three women pull out all the stops to attract Paul McCartney's attention. "

Status:
Published 09-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""I don't reckon much to these new life-size Animal Crackers. They're a bit chewy for my taste.""

Status:
Published 09-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

"Attempting to travel incognito as a Traffic Warden was not working out well for Pete."

Status:
Published 06-11-2006

Submitted for:


nurse - the screams!

"After an explosion at a doll factory, several workers get the wrong end of the sitck when told to, "Pick up the arms.""

Status:
Published 03-11-2006

Submitted for:


nurse - the screams!

"Hospital staff take extreme measures to cut NHS waiting lists."

Status:
Published 03-11-2006

Submitted for:


nurse - the screams!

"Events take an ugly turn as incensed hopefuls are turned away at the auditions for 'Doctor Idol'."

Status:
Published 03-11-2006

Submitted for:


nurse - the screams!

""Are you sure this new method of high-speed inoculation is going to work?""

Status:
Published 03-11-2006

Submitted for:


Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

"The site for a new fast food restaurant is identified."

Status:
Published 02-11-2006

Submitted for:


Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

"Pumpkin Wars: Episode I - The Phantoms Unleash Their Menace... Coercing the old to fight the young."

Status:
Published 02-11-2006

Submitted for:


Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

"Fiends: The One Where They All Get Stoned."

Status:
Published 02-11-2006

Submitted for:


Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

"The Annual Tombstone Dominoes contest was about to begin."

Status:
Published 02-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

""No, we're not going in there for another bag of peanuts.""

Status:
Published 02-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

"They were scraping the barrel for contestants on The Newlywed Game this year."

Status:
Published 01-11-2006

Submitted for:


CAPTION COMPETITION

"Pete Doherty and Kate Moss get married at last."

Status:
Published 01-11-2006

Submitted for:


The McFly boys

""Fearing a wooden performance, McFly attempt to be ironic by dressing as trees""

Status:
Published 31-10-2006

Submitted for:


SCRIPT ENTRIES
SCRIPT COMP
A Couple Of Prankers
" A COUPLE OF PRANKERS Scene is: Backstage in the Green Room of 'The Jeremy Kyle Show', where Tony Blair and his wife, Cherie, are waiting to be called ..."
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Status:
Published 06-08-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
The Wrong Jeremy
" THE WRONG JEREMY Scene is: The studio of 'The Jeremy Kyle Show', where Tony Blair and his wife, Cherie, are currently sat side by side on two chairs on ..."
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Status:
Published 06-08-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
George Is A Girl's Name Too
" GEORGE IS A GIRL'S NAME TOO Scene is: The studio of 'The Jeremy Kyle Show', where the host is currently stood on the stage in front of his audience. B..."
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Status:
Published 06-08-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
Guitar Man
" GUITAR MAN Scene is: The studio of 'The Jeremy Kyle Show', where the host is currently stood on the stage in front of his audience. Beside him, sat in..."
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Status:
Published 06-08-2007

Submitted for:

FRIDAY NIGHT PROJECT COMP
Brown's Britain
"Moving into 'Number Ten', The Browns discover The Blairs have left a few nasty surprises for them - such as that old classic, cling film over the toilet bowl..."
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Status:
Published 19-07-2007

Submitted for:

FRIDAY NIGHT PROJECT COMP
Charity Concerts
"Two of Elton John's wigs offer a belated explanation for his late arrival on stage at the 'Concert For Diana'..."
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Status:
Published 19-07-2007

Submitted for:

FRIDAY NIGHT PROJECT COMP
Celebs In Jail
"Incarcerated together, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan argue over whether it would be more beneficial to start sleeping with the wardens or the inmates first..."
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Status:
Published 19-07-2007

Submitted for:

FRIDAY NIGHT PROJECT COMP
Harry Potter
"Having graduated from the magician's academy, an older Harry Potter is now at the Job Centre seeking work - he becomes very disgruntled when informed he will..."
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Status:
Published 19-07-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
The Stringy Bikini
" THE STRINGY BIKINI Scene is: A typical, student hovel, where Russell is still in his pyjamas, enjoying a bowl of cereal in an armchair. His flatmate, ..."
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Status:
Published 18-07-2007

Submitted for:

Seinfeld script comp
The Comic Book Shop
" THE COMIC BOOK SHOP Scene is: A typical comic book shop, where the manager, Ringo, is currently stood behind the counter with his latest potential rec..."
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Status:
Published 25-06-2007

Submitted for:

Script Comp
Rubber Pants
"Rubber pants are optional, but highly recommended next on 4... New comedy is on it's way..."
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Status:
Published 20-06-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
Death Is A Size Zero
" DEATH IS A SIZE ZERO Scene is: The fitting area in an upmarket clothing store. Death, or 'The Grim Reaper', is standing in front of a wall of angled m..."
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Status:
Published 14-05-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
Buzz
" BUZZ Scene is: The Execution Chamber in a tough, Texas penitentiary. Two prison guards are standing either side of the electric chair, watching an or..."
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Status:
Published 04-05-2007

Submitted for:

Send-a-Sketch
Whales Without The H
"A group of marine biologists head out to sea to study whales, and are shocked to discover Wales instead - or rather a small piece of it, broken off the mainl..."
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Status:
Published 12-04-2007

Submitted for:

Send-a-Sketch
Save The Oak
"When they hear of a local campaign to 'Save The Oak', two gung-ho, but slightly dim environmentalists spend a week protesting in a tree - needlessly, as it t..."
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Status:
Published 11-04-2007

Submitted for:

OPEN SCRIPT COMP
Henry The Eighth I Am
" HENRY THE EIGHTH I AM Scene is: The King's chambers in an extravagant looking castle, where the portly Henry VIII is currently tearing the place apart..."
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Status:
Published 05-04-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
Fred's Dead
" FRED'S DEAD Scene is: A typical kitchen in a suburban home, where a husband and wife - Alan and Mary - are enjoying their morning coffees. Alan is cur..."
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Status:
Published 20-03-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
The Gobbs
" THE GOBBS Scene is: A typical inner city street, where a large removal van is parked outside one of the terraced houses. Two men in woolly hats are ca..."
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Status:
Published 12-03-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
Prophylactics
" PROPHYLACTICS Scene is: a typical Chemist, where Rob is browsing, followed by Kenny, who is eating a Danish pastry from a bag. ROB Damn it, I can'..."
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Status:
Published 27-02-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
Mr. Inappropriate
" MR. INAPPROPRIATE: AT THE BAKERY Scene is: A typical Bakery. A Baker is standing behind his counter when a little man in glasses enters. He wears a brig..."
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Status:
Published 14-02-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
Express Delivery
" EXPRESS DELIVERY Inspired by the pitch 'A Pizza The Action', created by SethGecko. "Pizza boys from around the globe have to deliver pizzas against t..."
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Status:
Published 25-01-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMP
Big Heads
" BIG HEADS Inspired by the pitch 'Enough About Me...' created by Yielding. "Six celebrities are locked in a house together with strict instructions no..."
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Status:
Published 22-01-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMPETITION
Stress Dolls
" STRESS DOLLS Ten highly stressed workers are kept locked in their office block performing their daily duties as usual - the last one to have a breakdown..."
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Status:
Published 08-01-2007

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMPETITION
A Pizza The Action
" A PIZZA THE ACTION Pizza Boys from around the globe have to deliver pizzas against the clock to outrageous locations - such as up a tree in a booby-trap..."
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Status:
Published 08-01-2007

Submitted for:

OPEN SCRIPT COMPETITION
Department Store Satan
" DEPARTMENT STORE SATAN Scene is: Outside the 'Santa's Grotto' in a typical department store. Several mums and dads are queuing up with their children,..."
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Status:
Published 05-01-2007

Submitted for:

JOKE COMPETITION
Reality Check
" REALITY CHECK What did Santa Claus say to The Easter Bunny? Nothing - they're not real, you know. THE END "
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Status:
Published 05-01-2007

Submitted for:

JOKE COMPETITION
Red Noses
" RED NOSES One year, a long time ago, a cold and flu epidemic hit The North Pole particularly badly. The reindeers got sick, the Elves got sick, even S..."
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Status:
Published 05-01-2007

Submitted for:

OPEN SCRIPT COMPETITION
Sheep Laundry
" SHEEP LAUNDRY Scene is: a launderette, where a man, Eric, is currently taking his clean clothes out of one of the large washing machines and placing th..."
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Status:
Published 15-12-2006

Submitted for:

OFFICE PARTY SCRIPT COMPETITION
Kiss This
" KISS THIS Scene is: The Christmas Party in a typical London office. Various streamers and balloons have been hung around the room, along with a banner..."
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Status:
Published 15-12-2006

Submitted for:

OPEN SCRIPT COMP
Terror Of The CV
" TERROR OF THE CV Scene is: A typical office, where a Boss is currently conducting an interview with a potential new recruit. He is sat behind his desk..."
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Status:
Published 12-12-2006

Submitted for:

THEMED SCRIPT COMPETITION
Carry On Spider
" CARRY ON SPIDER Scene is: A living room in an ordinary, suburban home. An older man, Syd, is currently sat in his armchair leafing calmly through a ne..."
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Status:
Published 12-12-2006

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMPETITION
Special Delivery
" SPECIAL DELIVERY Scene is: A garage in a regular, suburban house. There is no car parked in it. A man -- Murray -- is struggling to open a huge packag..."
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Status:
Published 05-12-2006

Submitted for:

OPEN SCRIPT COMPETITION
Crew Cut
" CREW CUT Scene is: A barbershop, where a customer is already sat in one of the chairs with the protective cape wrapped around him. An effeminate male ..."
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Status:
Published 01-12-2006

Submitted for:

THEMED SCRIPT COMPETITION
Double Decker
" DOUBLE DECKER Scene is: A bright red bus that two friends -- Russell and Simon -- have just boarded. They approach The Driver. RUSSELL Two please...."
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Status:
Published 30-11-2006

Submitted for:

OPEN SCRIPT COMPETITION
Change Of The Guard
" CHANGE OF THE GUARD Scene is: A sentry box, which a Soldier is standing outside -- complete with his red tunic, a rifle and a busby. Another man -- Le..."
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Status:
Published 29-11-2006

Submitted for:

SCRIPT CHALLENGE: WEEK 4
Dialling Up
" DIALLING UP Scene is: The office of the Culture Minister in London's Whitehall, circa the early 1990's. Minister Gladstone is reclining in his chair w..."
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Status:
Published 24-11-2006

Submitted for:

OPEN SCRIPT COMP
Going Down
" GOING DOWN Scene is: Backstage at a major boxing event. Sports caster Hugh Whittaker is grabbing an exclusive interview with boxer, Davy 'Boy' McGuire..."
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Status:
Published 23-11-2006

Submitted for:

SCRIPT COMPETITION
The Log
"THE LOG Scene is: Christmas Eve. A man, Cliff, is in the hallway of his home, standing outside the closed door of the lounge, getting ready to open it a..."
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Status:
Published 14-11-2006

Submitted for:

OPEN CALL FOR SCRIPTS
On The Shelf
" ON THE SHELF Scene is: two magazines sitting side by side on a shelf in a typical newsagent's. One is Glossy, a gaudy celebrity weekly called 'VIP', and..."
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Status:
Published 08-11-2006

Submitted for:

THEMED SCRIPT COMPETITION
Bennie Three Hands
" BENNIE THREE HANDS Scene is: a village fair, where a small, enclosed gazebo-shaped tent has been erected. On either side of the closed flaps at its fr..."
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Status:
Published 07-11-2006

Submitted for:

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