PROFILE

"Mattel release their new line of plastic collectable international hooker dolls in time for Christmas."

"The police would like to contact these girls in relation to an armed raid in an Oxfam shop in Torquay...."

"The wags attempt to blend in with the other festival goers with their cunning diguises......"

"Pussycat dolls attempt to prove they don't need their stylist for every gig they do."

"Catherine Zeta Jones gets a reminder of her roots when the family turn up for her LA garden party."

"Vivienne Westwood really has gone too far this year."

"While Tom Jones was used to having G-strings thrown at him during his gigs, he knew this would only end in tragedy."

"While Tom Jones was used to have G-strings thrown at him during his gigs, he knew this would only end in tragedy."

"The "I'm with the band" excuse was not going to wash with the Glastonbury gate men this year........"

"Extreme methods were used to stop Chris Martin writing more depressing songs. The guitars were burnt first......"

"The WI only needed one last ingredient for their Chicken full of Bull stew......."

"Cherie, thanks.......he shall burn well on the fire to appease the gods. BRING FORTH THE CEREMONIAL LOINCLOTHS!!!!"

"These pom poms are great for hiding our guns. Now keeping smiling and take us to Cuba, Virgin boy.........."

"Ahhhhhh, the thrill of riding a unstable bike down 200 steps......................................"

"Holden and Shaw race evil bush."

"Everyone has had a ride. The bike has seen better days also."

"After Les Dennis and Darren Day, The girls make a quick escape after being approached by Dean Gaffney."

"At least the girls saw the funny side of Amanda's missing bell."

"Cherry Whip was well known for being up for anything in her films but even she didn't like the look of that guinea pig.."

""Just stick it on top of the van Steven, sod the cops!"...Peter O'Toole was leaving with an ocsar no matter what."

"You know that you haven't quite made it yet after you wait an hour outside then JAMES BLUNT is let in ahead of you....."

"With so many pets on the set of blue peter, they should have EXPECTED to step in something, the pair of big sissys......"

"With so many pets on the set of blue peter, they should have EXPECTED to step in something, the pair of big sissys......"

"The bananarama reunion caused much interest as everyone noticed how much they had let themselves go over the years...."

"Girls aloud and Charlotte Church resolve their differences."

"The race began to reach the very last BMW and a year's worth of beer, all still in tact, left aboard the MSC Napoli."

"Devon's most popular sperm donor reveals that new storage methods mean greater demand on him and his health...."

"Really doesn't need a caption, does it? "

"There was much confusion at the "Bird Sanctuary" until it was explained to Rich that they didn't do THOSE kind of tits."

"Take 2 into the shower? Not Heff. The doctor says he now needs 3 nurses to help him, especially on the kimode."

"Hearing that Lily Allen takes everything to the toilet with her, Russel offers to hold her award while she hits the bar."

"More parents despair as violent extreme chess seems to be growing in popularity, complete with polonuim pieces... "

"After Leo hid all the cutlery, Jade had no option but to ask Jack to load her fry up into the catapult and aim wisely."

"We see Gordon in the first stages of making Tony's goodbye mix tape. "Van Morrison is where it's at" he tells hommies."

"Bob was a gentleman. As soon as he did the impressive fart, not only did he own up, but admited he'd followed through."

"Boffin Rio says: Don't look now but there seems to be two dark geezers sat behind us. I think they're up to something."

"Everyone is getting ready for Ken's new film "Vicky Pollard and the Lions of Hades". Carole has taken the lead role."

"Yes, recycling your old bean tins can help others conquor the galaxy in style. George says keep it clean, keep it green"

"The day out ended tragically for the family as, moments after this was taken, the army of magpies arrived......"

“I was going to say how we liked the surreal slant that RubyMae put on this caption comp, but then i looked at the picture again... yep, it was pretty surreal already me thinks! Regardless, this was a great entry!”   (cnorman)

"Ronnie Corbett's new cheerleading squad wait outside a theatre in Torquay to show off their new routine after his act."

"The Jim Henson workshop had been working overtime on it's new characters. The extra leather had paid off."

"All together now............ HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Remaking the video for "Prince charming" was paused for photos after Adam Ant was last seen heading to Reading in a tutu"

"John Prescott's son tries to prove that he, in no way, plans to follow in his father's footsteps with his new job......"

""Yes, George my dear, We tried the cod at Gordon Ramsey's place but I found the sauce a little bit too rich........""

"Would the owner of a Ford Capri please move your car as it is blocking the way of Madonna's ego. I repeat, would the..."

"It didn't take long for Micheal to realise Cathrine had gained weight since his first went into hospital......"

“You wait an age for a comedy point that four come at once! RubyMae follows up coming 3rd in the Chase the Ace script comp with a caption victory of the highest order - well done!”   (cnorman)

"Let me get this straight. You have to knock down 10 old grannies and trip up the pregnant lady to get the last Barbie?"

"Glamour shoots sure ain't what it use to be........."

""Right, it's settled. Steve lost so it's his forfeit to smack that big stringray in the face.............""

"No matter how hard to try David, you ain't going to pull Mandy on the 53rd floor with your hypno junk. Try flowers."

"Pete was pissed when he awoke. The lads from the demolition site had come up with yet another oh so funny stag prank..."

"The owner of the bullfighting ring released that he may need to advertise for another under 16 for work experience."

"The competition to become Peter Stringfellow's PA was fierce."

"Amanda cursed her luck. She thought she had been so original with her outfit...."

"After a feast at Tandoori Nights, the lads from Wigan continued on Pete's stag night filled with beer and vindaloo."

"Extreme body piercing became big after being shown on Jackass."

"The "pick your own" theme at McDonalds was a big success, even though they realised they may have to get in new staff."

"Simon Cowell's funeral was a glamourous event. Yet they wondered if hiring the McDonalds to sing was the best of ideas. "

“This was the hardest competition to whittle down to 4 so far. I had a shortlist of 30. BUT RubyMae was the undoubted star. I liked Healthy Chocolate as a nice, easily recognisable take on our every day obsessions. V concise, nice punchline and one we see evry day. Amongst the many sent in by our winner I also had Spider in the Bath ( v stupid, well delivered)and Jose's Party in the shortlist. Junk Males also sent in a huge number of sketches and a few really hit the mark. I've gone for the obvious gag and how well it has been delivered this month and Mum's Ambulance fits the bill. Henry the Eigth. Lovely set-up, nice asides and magnificent licence moving Cromwell back a century to spar with Henry the 8th. I also loved the punchline. And well done to Jimothy, whose Barbados Farm gag just pipped Dog Present by FlyBe to 4th spot. I also liked Hartley Pool's Nice Old Lady sketches; Cabin Crew was a favourite in the 4Laughs office and Jim Jam Stew's Bronte Sisters' Soap is also worth a read. Keep up the good work but don't send in 30 of the same gags, I get tired and one gets the message across. Ric”   (4Laughs_...)

“This was the hardest competition to whittle down to 4 so far. I had a shortlist of 30. BUT RubyMae was the undoubted star. I liked Healthy Chocolate as a nice, easily recognisable take on our every day obsessions. V concise, nice punchline and one we see evry day. Amongst the many sent in by our winner I also had Spider in the Bath ( v stupid, well delivered)and Jose's Party in the shortlist. Junk Males also sent in a huge number of sketches and a few really hit the mark. I've gone for the obvious gag and how well it has been delivered this month and Mum's Ambulance fits the bill. Henry the Eigth. Lovely set-up, nice asides and magnificent licence moving Cromwell back a century to spar with Henry the 8th. I also loved the punchline. And well done to Jimothy, whose Barbados Farm gag just pipped Dog Present by FlyBe to 4th spot. I also liked Hartley Pool's Nice Old Lady sketches; Cabin Crew was a favourite in the 4Laughs office and Jim Jam Stew's Bronte Sisters' Soap is also worth a read. Keep up the good work but don't send in 30 of the same gags, I get tired and one gets the message across. Ric”   (4Laughs_...)