PROFILE

"Balloon trees; A must for the 21st century convent."

"Man with blurred hand seeks a cure from the holy conker."

"Wan Roo-Ni arrives in Seoul."

"Big Brothers Big Mouth breeds like rabbits."

"A lots of people just could'nt take the Spice Girl comeback seriously."

"The Lilly Allen Laugh Association or LALA hold their first meeting."

"Lilly Allen's latest squeeze Gary Coleman was not happy that she was hogging the limelight."

"T in the park and a custard cream for these old ladies."

"Pussycat Dolls the longest running girlband pictured at the 50th Anniversary of Live Earth."

"Invisible weight-lifting had grown in popularity in recent years."

"Rickett-ridden quintet take the stage to show the effects of environmental change."

"Transvestite cave-men put on a show for the masses."

"A lost Roald Dahl book has been found: 'Charlie & the Yorkshire Dinghy'"

"Tabloid photographers swarm in as Liam is pictured being arrested for the 1000th time for looking grumpy."

"Liam and the police do their version of YMCA to pass the time before the museum opened."

"Nice-guy Liam was always willing to fill in for Sting when he was too tantric to show. "

"Spiceworld 2 in which the girls each grab a flag and hold it up for 90 minutes."

"Kids, and you too Arnie, I want you to witness this, my last point as Prime Minister."

"Arnie and Tony start their new careers teaching dance moves to school kids."

"Tony starts his new job as right hand man to Arnie in the newest adaptation of the Pied Piper of Hamlyn."

"Vince McMahon's WWE hits hard times."

"Auditions begin for 'Braveheart. The Transvestite Years'."

"Urban High-jump champ attempts to scale 5 storey building."

"A clip from the new movie, 'The Disappearance of a Chair & the Majority of Clothes in Soho'. "

"Mini arse legs, the new anti-falling device. "

"You said everyone dressed this way in Soho! HIIIYEAAA!!!"

"The beard-shooter strikes again, blowing the goatee off an unsuspecting shop owner. "

"Masked shop owner robs his customers at gun-point."

"I, the Fashionsta state that stripes are in this season, you have failed to comply, now you die!"

"Two knickers and two bras please. How much is it? How much!!!?"

"Gervais was regretting eating the 5th batallion as he attempts to pass Sgt. Shannon."

"Ricky was regretting eating the 5th batallion as he attempts to pass Sgt. Shannon."

"Ricky never took negative feedback for 'The Office' very well. "

"Soderbergh denies claims that they ran out of ideas for a plot for Oceans 13."

"Well it an arab country in the middle east, it is bordered by Syria and... oh that Jordan."

"Now that she has written a novel Jordan embarks on her next impossible task, becoming pope. "

"The Crystal Maze relaunches with Jordan as the new presenter & Harrods being the um, maze."

"All Harrods men carried a heavy Price."

"Whos going to be the unlucky contestant in the 1,682 man band auditions."

"I said: "Lend me your ears", not, 'lend me your guitars'. They don't even sound the same, whats wrong with you!?"

"Live Earth enthusiasts play a special gig before celebrating by smashing guitars over each others heads."

"John Cleese pictured holidaying in the 14th Century."

"The Rolling Stones embarking on their first tour of Britain."

"The Rolling Stones just before their first tour of Britain."

"The lads do their impression of the old twin towers at Wembley."

"No Steve it's ok we're not playing prison rules."

"Tony visits Prime Minister college &shows a group of 2nd years how to deal with bad press."

"So lads as Prime Minister you need to be able to return political shuttlecocks like so."

"The famous Cannes-do attitude helped Quentin to bag 4 beauties. "

"Quentins green hair extensions was proving to be a big hit with the ladies at Cannes."

"Five beautiful ladies, but one of them is a man! Can you guess which one?"

"Roman soldier helmets never made the most comfortable bras."

"And the winner of the flowers for a hand award goes to....."

"The touch of 5 young babes was enough to put Elton John right off his performance."

"Tony's resignation was taking it's toll on Cherie."

"Tony was always a fan of inter-gender tag team wrestling."

"The real Titty Parade."

"Invisible wheelbarrow enthusiasts pose for a photo with their pride and joy."

""We is all going to be in a caption comp-pem-pet-pen-tition". "

"The Boyzone reunion was beginning to look like a bad idea."

"Tourists guard their heads as they stand for a photo in front of a building made of sneeze."

"Membership has now increased to a whopping 5 in the Rural Hulk Hogan Society."

"The bunny is a little embarrassed as Alice releases an uncut version of her adventures in Wonderland."

"Adam uses his snake to good effect to draw Eve to him."

"Mrs. Smith forced her sextuplets to wear identical outfits well into their 20's."

"Escaped cons ponder how their 'foolproof' plan to pose as participants and run to freedom failed."

"Zebra's dressed as men prepare for the marathon."

"Archaeologist discovers that the oldest football ever found belongs to Peter Crouch's ancestors."

"Whale testicle lovers gather on the Millennium Bridge."

"Peep Show comedians love nothing better that crawling out through each others stomachs during the off season."

"Wall-shaped man evesdrops on romantic couple and jealous on-looker."

"Yoko enjoys standing under mini clouds of rain but only dry rain and requests an umbrella otherwise."

"Yoko imposes herself on documentary of man with umbrella. "