"That's not what I meant when I said they were 'Hold-Up' bras..."

"The truth is revealed about the Blairs secret swingers lifestyle!"

"...funloving French fancies fresh face fondou...Gordon Ramsey's F-words!"

"No Dawn, I said I want you to SIT on my face!"

"South Parks Chef shoot the live action video for the re-release of 'chocolate salty balls'."

"The crowd go wild for the genetically enhanced malteesers."

"The boys were determined to pull out all the stops in their 'John Hurt' Alien scene re-enactment."

"Robert had to decide which pair of legs, blue or grey, would go best with his yellow top half."

"LORD MAYOR: Five miles from London, and still no Dick... LADY MAYER: No, Ken Livingston couldn't make it!"

"I'm wearing the new Loriel lettace leaf bra...'Cos' I'm worth it!"

"MAN: Excuse me Ms Mayer, I just need to turn over a new leaf..."

"When Alice found lettace leaves growing all over her body, doctors confirmed it was just the tip if the iceberg!"

"Alice completely misunderstood the term 'salad dressing'."

"Ann Summers unveil their new healthy eating option edible underwear"

"Hobbits caught stealing the oscars."

"The prototype home made fullbody condoms are unveiled in london today."

"Roger was told that he'd only get a girlfriend when 'Elle freezes over'!"

"MR HAPPY:- (SINGING) Happiness, happiness - If only I had ha-penis!""

"Al Fayed's smiley faced badge is a bit over the top!"

"Looters find ever more interesting ways to bypass the police cordens around Branscombe beach..."

"Excellent turn out for the inaugaral Steve Irwin Stingray day."

"Massive turnout for the Aussie Baywatch auditions."

"Do you know how long it takes to get a pint of 'man-milk'?"

"Foxy:- of course I'm a real Doctor, now go behind the screen and take all your clothes off..""

"Foxy Bingo:- "And it's eyes down and look in for a full house!""

"George isn't the only one here who thinks the Beckhams are British Royalty..."

"George isn't the only one here who thinks the Beckhams are British Royalty..."

"George Bush welcomes his new political advisors..."

"Bush moonlighting as a taxi driver..."

"Well Doctor, can you make me look like this?"

"Richard was disapointed when he found out he'd booked Paris Hilton, he thought it ws Big Brothers Chantel!"

"The monster raving looney party unveil their new, actual size, hand-print identity card..."

"Hugh always did things in triplicate..."

"Of course Hugh guenuinly didn't recognise them with their clothes on!"

"Charlies true identity revealed as he introduces a new team of angels."

"And so the girls made a happy man very old!"

"Micheal Jackson unvails the results of his latest surgery."

"Lloyds-sign of the dark horse."

"Lloyd: "D'you know who I am?" Everyone Else: "NO!""

"'Lorry-oil', cos I'm worth it!"

"With everyone leaving because of the scary creatures, Big Brother is being renamed I'm a celebrity get me out of here."

"Jade gives the invisible man a blow-job..."

"New education Minister anounced."

"It's the real Dartford Tunnel!"

"Welcome to Big Brothers Big Mouth!"

"You must've been a beautiful baby, cos baby you're pig ugly now!"

"Pampers new marketing stratagy underway today"

"The alzhiemers second childhood daytrip is a success"

"Jade Goody's family prepare for entry into the celebrity Big Brother house..."

"Jade Goody's family prepare for entry into the celebrity Big Brother house..."

"The original Baywatch babes have let themselves go!"

"I'm Father Christmas...no, I'm Father Christmas...no, I am Father Christmas...I'm Father Christmas...No, I am..."

"Hands up who feels silly?"

"The extras arrive for the Mash christmas special reunion."

"Conclusive proof that all christmas presents are made in Korea!"

"The 'Red Arrows' christmas display team overcome budget cutbacks."

"Adrian Balboa is caught between a rocky and a hard face..."

"Conjoined dwarf siames twins appear on stars in their eyes as Status Quo..."

"These two were young men when the delayed wembely building project first started..."

"Quo's masculinity questioned as the fight to get their hands on o man hole..."

"Prince charming is about to get another 'lad in!"

"ASBO, now sponsered by Ginsters...."

"SHUT YER PIE HOLE!"

"Phantom flan flinger's illegitamate son discovered"

"Scientists unveil the new PI diet, lose 3.14(recurring) pounds! "

"Simple Simon grows up to be the pie-man!"

"Clooney's choice of menu for his stint on celebrity masterchef critised by judge Oliver as being 'slightly underdone!'"

"Brad Pitts unavailability causes problems on the set of Oceans six..."

"Clooney 'waxes' lyrical to friends about his stint as batman when the Penguin arrives to spoil the party..."

"Celebrity big brother line-up anounced"

"Is it because I is black, Jack? No, it's because you is fat...and so the argument between Mr Pott & Mr Kettle continues"

"Auditions suspended for the nintendo nativity,as the three wise men are discovered to be virgins too "

"Buy the new ineractive 'Big Issue'"

"4 laughs users eagerly await the results of the latest caption competition"

"Police arrange a line up in a bid to catch the infamous 'Kareoke Killer'"

""...no wonder they're lonely tonight!""

"NO! I said I wanted 100 christmas ELVES!"

"Proof that Father Christmas doesn't only come once a year as more paternity suits are filed."

"SHANE:- "Where's CAT when I really need her?!""

"Hugh and Shane join the grand order of the water rats."

"SHANE:- "So Hugh, how long have you been having these 'disney' spells?""

"Honey, I shrank the celebrities!"

"SHANE:- "Hugh dirty rat!""

"Scandal as celebrities get rat-arsed at premier!"

"Hugh Jackman signs up as the PIED PIPER in Ritchies new pantomime production."

"Celebrity Masterchef finalists prepare their speciality dish, 'Rat-a-Two-ee..."

"Shane's book signing tour of 'From Rats to Riches' commences"

"Disney announce a family remake of 'Of Mice and Men'"

"Rat-pack the Musical cast revealed..."

"NASA Astronaut's training budget cut"

"Round and round and round he goes, who he'll be sick on nobody knows..."

"Was it 'Madness' or was George Micheals version of 'Our House' in the middle of 'The Street' going to be an Xmas No.1? "

"George Micheal caught sleeping on another street!"

"Sun Photographer in hit and run drama moments after taking this snap!"

"Tom Cruise is rushed to hospital by minders after falling off five tiered wedding cake!"

"The cast of the film version of American sit-com 'Two and a Half Men' arrive at the press launch."

"New child safety seats for under twelves tested today"

"...And here is the results of this weeks Spot-the-Bull competiton..."

"Strictly Come Dancing's Bolero routine wows viewers"

"BULL: Excuse me, could you direct me to the nearest china shop?"

"Channel Five's relaunch of Bullseye goes over the top...(Let's have a look at what you would've won!)"

"The Great Soprendo tries to distract the wild bull by producing a red silk cloth from his backside..."

"The Great Soprendo tries to distract the wild bull by pulling a red cloth from his arse!"

"It really is pussy galore at the casino Royale wrap party!"

"David Bailly tests out his new X-ray camera at london fashion week"

"Welcome to the medival hedonism holiday"

“Somehow, with such an innocent array of pictures, Gagsy has managed to drag this competition down to the dirty depths of outright lewdness...WELL DONE!! This entry had it all: a great narrative and a killer punchline. Enjoy the DVD fun, Gagsy!”   (cnorman)

"Katherine Tate upsets the Queen at the Royal variety performance.....Boverred?"

"One should have gon to spec savers!"

"John Lyndon and a poor dumb creature pose with a Koala bear"

"Trapped in the jungle with Jordon, and johnny only manages to get his teeth into a koala...what rotton luck!"

"John Lydon in sweetshop heaven:- Koala cubes and pear drops!"

"Bush tucker challange goes too far?"

"I'm a koala bear, get me out of here!"

"New York Doctors prepare to give patients their 'shots'..."

"NHS new euthenasia team show their enthusiasm"

""MOVE AWAY FROM THE BEDPAN!""

"Shaft goes undercover as a Doctor"

"Medical researchers unviel their new suppository insertion systems"

"Kings collage hospitals A-Team rag week stunt ends in carnage..."

"Modern doctors take on a new treatment regime - Kill or Cure!"

"Medical staff take extreme precautions to ensure that they won't be infected in Bird flu pandemic!"

"You thought it USED to be hard to get a NHS bed...think again!"

"Buisness was slack in the casualty department so the staff decide to drum up some more..."

"BBC's Casualty storyline toughens up in ratings war"

"Diagnosis Murder auditions not going well..."

"Dumbo knew he had drunk too much when he started to see pink ladies..."

"Tony was sure that the computer dating company had made a slight error, he had been expecting to meet a Miss Ellie Fant!"

"Dumdo's world comeback tour kicks off in china..."

"Sorry Mum, it just followed me home..."

"Mr Lee accepts delivery of the last ingrediant for his new recipe of 'One Tonne' soup"

“I really enjoyed judging this competition as it could have been won by any of the top 5 and they all had either neat ideas, good delivery and did not get too indulgent. This one one because 1) It reminded me of a meeting or two I have had over the years.... 2) The joke was maintained all the way through and although the punchline was heralded, it was well delivered and made me laugh outloud. ”   (4Laughs_...)