Real Life Stories A Brit Buys A House In France

Date Published:

18/06/2008

It's essential to equip yourself with as much information as possible about the differences between British and French culture before you go - and this means more than knowing about politics, it's about being 'Living in any completely different culture is fun, but challenging,' says Maggi. 'It's not always easy to know the rules and you can offend by mistake.

'Generally speaking, the French are more formal than the British and our very casual ways can be misinterpreted. For example, an English person might say to their neighbour, 'pop round any time' and mean it as an invitation to visit. But to a French person, unless you actually specify a day and time, it's not an invitation. So the Englishman's sitting at home thinking 'oh dear, obviously my neighbour doesn't like me because he hasn't come round to visit me', and the Frenchman's sitting at home thinking 'why is my neighbour so unsociable that he hasn't invited me round yet?'

A good way to learn about things like this is through Relocate France, a company that organises seminars for people thinking of, or planning to, move across the Channel. The afternoon of each day-long seminar is dedicated to discussions with French people and British ex-pats about how to deal with everyday situations in France.

Ros Williamson, managing director of Relocate France, says the people who come to her events really want to get on with their new neighbours and integrate into the French community, but often don't know how to go about it. 'Often, French people can misinterpret what British people do and say, even if they speak the language very well.

'Our round-table sessions, which we run with the help of language organisation the Alliance Francaise, are a chance to get questions answered. The subjects that come up time and time again are how to address French people - when to use 'tu' rather than 'vous', for example, and how long you should carry on addressing someone as 'monsieur' or 'madame' - plus more subtle considerations, such as what topics of conversation are polite for a dinner party.

If you don't know very many people in your area, there's a lot at stake when your neighbour invites you over for aperitifs, so you don't want to inadvertently cause offence.'

'The first few months can be very isolating, as you are away from your old network of family and friends,' says Ros. 'As well as giving you lots of information on practical aspects such as buying a property, inheritance tax and France's health system, a Relocate France seminar is a chance to make contacts so that when you hit a bad patch, you know other people who've gone through the same kind of thing.

'If you really want to become part of the community over there, you will, as people like Maggi prove. But it will take a lot longer to integrate if you don't have the kind of advice and insight that our seminars offer.' It may seem obvious to say that living permanently in France is very different to visiting on holiday, but Maggi says an important part of integrating is accepting that there are some differences you'll find quite challenging. She says: 'My strategy has simply been to smile a lot and ask for help when I need it! I've had to accept that I am the 'foreigner' and have had to learn and accept the new way of doing things, even when it's frustrating.

'The most difficult things for me to get used to, as someone who runs a business, have been the slowness of everything official and the unwillingness of almost everyone French to do business any other way than face-to-face. This means that letters, e-mails and telephone calls invariably go unanswered and if you wish to be sure of a result you need to physically go to get things sorted out. Administration is mind-numbing: never have one piece of paper if you can have six!

'Running a chambres d'hotes is one of the least regulated sectors so it wasn't particularly difficult to get started, but setting up most businesses here is more difficult than in the UK and because of the departmentalised structure of French administration it is often difficult to get definitive answers.

'When you add to this the two hours that offices close for lunch and the fact that our Prefecture town is 75 km away, even the simplest thing can take all day! 'But I have found the only way to deal with it is to accept. It's important to remember that this isn't paradise; just like every other country in the world, not everything is perfect. Now, instead of ranting and raving over every administrative step, when I have to go to a meeting I plan a nice day out with a leisurely lunch, instead of moaning and making myself miserable.

'Besides, living and working in such a beautiful place, and sitting on my balcony enjoying the sunshine even in the winter, more than make up for any minor inconveniences! And our neighbours are all delightful and extremely welcoming - far from experiencing any kind of animosity, the kindness and support of all the people in the village is one of the best things about living here.'

Here's some useful places to get more information about moving to France.

www.relocate-france.co.uk
les-cerisiers.net

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