Meet the Three Hungry Boys: Tim

Tim from Three Hungry Boys talks through his experiences from the first series

Write a short profile of yourself...

In 2009 I wrote a cheeky old email to Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall trying to blag a free holiday by challenging him to let us have a go at some of the stuff I've learnt from his, and the other outdoorsmen's TV shows. To my surprise (and occasional hungry dismay) he called my bluff and thus we end up here...

I'm a bit of a 'do everything' person. I try to fill every minute with 60 seconds of worthwhile stuff. I work as a biology teacher and love the satisfaction, challenge and reward of working with young people and have done for 5 years now. I met Thom and Trev at uni studying Marine Biology in Plymouth where we lived together for many years. I'm a closet creative type, letting out my frustrations through writing music and taking photographs. I'm in two bands: Eccojones and Pack of Wolves. I run my own photography studio, shooting all sorts of fashion and music stuff too.

Why did you write to Hugh?

Me and Hunty (Thom Hunt) had a conversation about counting your life in summers. If we live to 80 (at a push) then we've only got another 50 or so to enjoy (it's a bit morbid but look where it got us). We started to plan a trip away for the summer spear fishing, surfing and generally having a blast.
I was in bed one night and thought, 'You know what, I bet Hugh would be up for giving us a camera and hearing about it', so I wrote to him. Convincing the others took about 10 seconds and we had ourselves a summer to remember.

What did you think might happen?

I never for a second thought there'd be a reply. When I got a reply from the exec of Keo I looked up his credentials to make sure I wasn't chatting with some lowly runner having a laugh. The email invited the three of us up to River Cottage. We met the big man himself (who is just as posh in real life as he is on telly) and he got the ball rolling.

What did you do in preparation for the trip?

Ray Mears and Bear G became our staple TV watching and I must have rattled through every River Cottage ever at least twice trying to cram my head with stuff we could do and eat. We went to meet John from River Cottage whose knowledge of edible wildlife means he and cockroaches would probably be the only organisms alive after a nuclear war. He took us mushrooming (I think just to cover Channel 4's insurance should we die eating poisoned ones) and recapped our fading knowledge of the edible seashore.

What were the highlights of your month's holiday?

The people we met were incredible, genuine and couldn't have been more welcoming. I think people will be a little suspicious, as having a TV crew obviously helps with getting people on your side, but I know that even without Tom, Kate and Graham holding film equipment the response would have been the same. It was heart-warming for the future of mankind that people will always jump to your aid when you need it most. Other than that, the food we ate was unreal. There were many, many days where the crew (who stayed and ate in hotels) were insanely jealous of our fresh, organic, free-range (if somewhat meager at times) diet.

What was the worst point? What did you not enjoy?

The worst moment of the whole trip was probably the trip over to Cana. It looked amazing from the side of the road on the mainland but after having slogged ourselves over there on the raft, it turned out to be a little hellish. I'm sure during the cool midge free days of spring it would be an awesome place to go camping, eating out under stars and generally chilling out, but by wet August the midges were unreal. You'd brush them off your arm only to find it black with them seconds later.

On top of that, it was all wet and the vegetation was too thick to move any substantial distance. We were stuck on the cliff side just above the bay where we landed. We had only taken rice, which Trev had cooked using a mix of sea water and run off from an island stream which we suspect had been filtered through the carcasses of a few dead mountain sheep. The resultant overly-salted rice not only left a bad taste in our mouths, but also had us wondering whether we would have to be up squatting in the rain at night.

What did you miss the most?

All three of us really struggled early on with the total removal of sugar from our diets. We had strange dreams and headaches and felt so lethargic until we got used to it. To be really honest once we had gotten into the swing of it, eating home baked bread and a mixture of smoked fish and amazing game was OK with me. I occasionally lusted for a good pudding of my mother's making, but smoked fish and incredible mushrooms did us very proud.

What was your favourite meal?

Without doubt the best meal was the slow roasted mutton on the spit of land in Ardnamurchin. Thom and I had been out looking for razor clams all day, to no avail. I remember that day well, as it was the last day of the Ashes test series, some of which we had caught on the radio before the fuse had blown. With little prospect of hearing the result, let alone watching it, I was a little depressed. It turned out that Ewan, the estate man of action, was a big sports fan and planned on watching the highlights while Trev cooked up the mutton. Thom and I were very happy to be invited to watch the highlights and Trev hates cricket so was happy reading and cooking in a warm Winnie.

England having won the cricket, with Broad getting five in the first innings and Harmy and Swan finishing it off, I was jubilant. We stumbled back to camp and the mutton was about as flavoursome and welcome as any meal I've every eaten. I'd rather have mutton cooked as mutton any day.

What was your favourite adventure?

The trip to Fingal's Cave was a mission, but one we had wanted to do since we set out from Devon. We took a ferry ride to Iona and then blagged a smaller ferry with Dave from Iona to Staffa where the cave is situated. We couldn't camp on Staffa because it can get a little hairy in high wind. The cave itself was beautiful with similar basalt columns to that of the Giants Causeway in Ireland.

How did you cope with being cooped up in Winnie together for a whole month? Who got on your wick?

Winnie took a lot of stick and frustration. The three of us and the vast amount of gear we had (guitar, spear guns, mushroom farm, fishing rods, brewing beer etc...) simply did not fit very well and every evening was spent emptying her of stuff to make room for us to sleep. Traveling in the back was particularly interesting.
It was decided that as I am the lightest I would be the one to sleep up the top in Winnie's pop roof. This gave me plenty of horizontal movement, with very little scope for the vertical. As well, the top would be where the midges, moths, flying ants and other insects gathered for their nightly raids. Every morning I would emerge, butterfly like, from my suspended cocoon to the smell of Thom and Trev wafting gently upwards. To be honest it was quite nice sleeping within earshot of your pals.

What did you learn from your trip?

I learnt that people are the best route to survival: being honest, open and willing to put in some hard work, ingratiated people to our cause. I learnt a great deal about baking, Thom about mushrooms and (hopefully) Trev about cricket! I learnt that even though Scotland wasn't our first choice for a holiday, the people are so incredibly welcoming, the scenery so magnificent and the produce so well produced that I would love to go back.

What was it like settling back into reality?

The ability to go and buy whatever you want and eat or drink it is one that I have never been fully conscious of before (and am still not really now). Having not had that option for a month, the first few weeks back were like someone opening our eyes anew to the world of foods that we as modern humans have available to us. It is ridiculous.

I think my first shop back in Devon was to Sainsbury's where I spent £125 on one bag of shopping; Chorizo, mozzarella, amazing olive oil, good wine, amazing chocolate, fresh mango, etc... I was very quickly back at work, eating sandwiches and drinking instant coffee and my summer in Scotland with two of my best friends seemed a little like a surreal dream (but one that I can watch back on DVD).

It makes me stop and think that if you could only eat what you caught, killed, grew, swapped or bartered for that:

A) It would consume you. B) It would be one of the most satisfying existences available.