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Slimline or not, the adoption of a big-capacity V8 should give some clues as to the nature of the S4's performance. It's a torque-sodden motor, with 302lb ft of pulling grunt on tap at its 3500rpm peak, but with at least 221lb ft available from just 1100rpm. The latter is, incidentally, the same amount Alfa's 3.2-litre V6 develops at its uppermost limit. The S4's peak power, meanwhile, all 344bhp of it, arrives way up at 7000rpm, which gives a usable rev-range of over 6000rpm. Strewth.
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Suffice to say that with that sort of power delivery, you could block access to three gears in the six-speed 'box and still make absurdly rapid progress. Using all the cogs, 0-62mph comes up in 5.6 seconds while top-whack is a restricted 155mph. Quattro four-wheel-drive comes as standard, which is just as well. Shame though, that you can't employ all that traction for pulling, say, a horsebox from the mire - a towbar isn't a possibility on this latest S4, presumably because of the bigger bumpers and reduced ride height. Maybe the exhaust gets in the way, too.
The lowered height (20mm), 18-inch Avus alloy wheels and subtle body extensions are just about the only visual exterior clues to the S4's potency. The cabin is similarly understated, save for the exceptional Recaro seats, a three-spoke steering wheel, grey dials and some carbon-fibre trim, which all goes some way to trimming down the 1,660kg kerb weight.
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