IN THIS FEATURE "I will have to shoot you if you do that!" Rain, rain everywhere Sounds like James Brown Culture clash of the titans Making mincemeat of an SLK 55 Deserving of a GT title?

The expression on the DaimlerChrysler PR chief's face is one of genuine alarm. "No, no, no, no, really, no! I will have to shoot you in the head if you do that!" He really did say that.

It's a response to a question that I'd intended as a bit of a joke, to wit, "You'll have to show me how to turn the traction control off." My query comes as I prepare to climb behind the wheel of a Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren. That's 'SLR' as in 626bhp and 575lb ft of torque. Did I mention it was raining?

Powerful name in motorsport gives SLR rare credibility

My colleague Colin Goodwin and I have been tasked (if that's the right word) with driving an SLR from Munich to Brescia, Italy. We'll take two days to cross the Alps, arriving in time to take in scrutineering for the famous Mille Miglia 1000-mile road rally to Rome and back to Brescia. Here is a rare opportunity to drive the SLR a considerable distance, and a chance to scrutinise the DC PR machine's assertion that this £313,540 carbon-fibre beast isn't actually meant to compete with cars like the £321,000 Porsche Carrera GT and £425,000 Ferrari Enzo. That is, say the suits, because the SLR is a grand tourer with a boot big enough to hold two golf bags, whereas the other two are totally impractical by comparison. Which conveniently ignores the fact that the average Enzo/Carrera GT/SLR owner has a garage full of cars to suit every imaginable occasion. And a man who fancies a gentle round of golf isn't likely to be in the mood for a weapons-grade supercar experience.