16 Mar 06
New list price: £22,000
Price from today: £3,500 (2001/51)
Vital stats: 143mph, 0-62mph 8.6secs, 210bhp
Whoa, steady. A Citroen C5 3.0 V6? Thats a car appearing in the dreams of, err, nobody. But think about it: relaxing hydropneumatic suspension, creamy 210bhp engine and looks so anonymous and derivative as to be invisible even to Superman. It's like having a warm bath with a glass of whiskey and the mobile turned off. For £5,000? You probably wont want to admit it, but it is tempting.
Especially as the purring engine complements the C5's brilliant ride to perfection. Pre-Phantom, this five-door hatchback even out-rode a Rolls-Royce, so pillow-soft and low-frequency-roll-along-supple is it. Yet computer control means it doesn't roll into corners and Citroen promises it will be maintenance-free for 125,000 miles. With the stack of equipment thrown in too, you have to conclude that French bureaucracy isn't all bad.
Your £5,000, which represents a retained value of 24%, buys a three-year-old model just out of warranty. If even that is too much for so much French fancy, go for a 2001 car, which you'll be able to snare for well under £4k. Justify it to others with Albert Hall-rivalling interior space, but there's really no need. Everyone knows you can't explain idiosyncratic appeal rarely more so than here.