The situation does not look hopeful as I rejoin the autobahn. In fact, this is ridiculous. There I was, hoping for a series of empty, uninterrupted straights; instead I'm presented with half the population of Frankfurt returning from their weekend out. So there I sit at a steady 100mph with Herr 5-series diesel in front of me, both of us accelerating in tandem but never breaching 120mph.
Finally, though, the traffic clears a little ahead of us and with a sooty puff from his exhausts my BMW-wielding friend starts to pile on some serious pace. He's making pretty impressive progress and I follow him at a safe distance up to 150mph, when I can see that he's hitting both the limits of his oil burner and the limiter. I try a cheeky flash of the lights but with only two lanes to play with, he's got nowhere to go.
After a frustrating twenty minutes or so of this, we come over a crest and find a clear, three-mile straight ahead of us. The dark blue saloon finally moves over, I change down a couple of gears and apply maximum throttle. 120ish, 140ish, 160ish: I'm only looking down long enough to catch vague speed increments. Finally, just as I'm about to breach 170mph, a Passat Estate moves out into the outside lane, the mighty anchors go to work and a second or so later we're back down to just over the ton. OK, so I could have come here in the middle of the night and taken it all the way to 180mph but in the allotted time and with this traffic, 170mph for £170 sounds like a pretty good deal to me. I'm sure people spend the full £70k on a 997 and never get to see this kind of speed at home.
After this sustained exertion by the 997, Frankfurt airport is soon on the horizon and so comes the bit I've been secretly dreading since I picked the car up; handing the car back. After a thorough inspection, which the car passes, the keys are handed back and the withdrawal starts to kick in.
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| The dreaded moment has to come: handing the car back |
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I'm exhilarated and exhausted, but this is an experience not to be missed and one you can share. Choose a different series of destinations, choose different starting points, but make sure you choose a 997, it really is as good as you've read. If you've got business in Germany make a deal with your boss. Pay the extra yourself. Don't eat, don't sleep, just get the Porsche.
So when someone asks you that question, you can give them the answer without a hint of irony.
To book a Porsche 911, call 00 49 1805 5577 - the call centre is actually in Manchester, so there are no language difficulties. Alternatively, visit
www.avis.de for more information.
A final piece of advice...
Fun as all this sounds, you do have to be careful in case things go wrong with the car. Make sure your insurance covers track use of the car, including mechanical problems, as well as accident damage. Also, don't lie about what you're planning on doing with the car. If you're going to use it on the track, let the hire firm know and get it in writing that they're fine with this. If you don't and something goes wrong, you may find yourself stung for several thousand pounds.
DISCLAIMER
4Car does not advocate abuse of any rental vehicle. Avis Rent A Car Terms and Conditions clearly state the following:
Use of a vehicle
The vehicle may only be used in normal road traffic. Not permitted are cross-country driving, driving-school exercises, use in connection with motoring events or for use on racing tracks, even if open to the general public for testing and practising, sub-letting the vehicles, nor any other use for purposes other than intended normally. It is prohibited to transport dangerous substances with the vehicles as set forth in the Ordinance Regulating the Transport of Dangerous Freight on Public Roads and by Rail in Germany (GGVSE).
