IN THIS FEATURE Stars and cars A case for Columbo Return of the King

People always claim to see me, being a bit of a celebrity and being into cars, at auctions dressed in a long coat and hat for disguise, bidding the prices up. I want everyone to know once and for all: that is not me. People also keep linking me to a story about buying one of Elvis' Harleys. The story has morphed a bit, but the rumour is this motorcycle was at a sale. I was there bidding on it. I bid $40,000, someone bid $45,000 and got the bike. I am then supposed to have tried to buy it from him for a million dollars!

Yet another story has me visiting a bike with two flat tyres sitting in an old lady's barn. She apparently had it for sale for $25. I look under the seat and it was supposed to have said 'To Elvis, love Priscilla' and the serial number was EP1. Do people realise that serial numbers have nothing to do with who you are? It's incredible. I still get calls about once a month concerning this. So, no I do not have any of Elvis's bikes.

Lamborghini Muira: Jay picked up Dean Martin's for a snip

I would never pay more for a celebrity car. In fact I don't like celebrity vehicles. To me the celebrity is the designer or the engineer - WO Bentley, Gordon Murray, Duesenberg - the people behind the cars. I like to think my cars will be worth more not because I own them but because of the expense that went into making them as special as the are.

Having said that, I do own Dean Martin's Lamborghini Miura - a P400. To give you an idea how long I have had it, I was given the car because it wasn't worth anything at the time. Dean Martin's son had got it in high school. Imagine being given a '67 Lamborghini to use for school! Anyway, he was driving it and went over a speed bump, cracked the crankcase, the oil came out and the engine seized. So then it was just a junky old foreign car. A friend of mine got it but couldn't afford to fix it, so he asked me whether I wanted it. We got all the proper engine pieces and fixed it up and it has run beautifully ever since.